this is your bartender speaking.
i really, truly believe you stole my jacket. because someone did. and you left abruptly before finishing a beer of which you first complained about the price then borrowed money to buy. you also made a quip about not being easily identified at a crime scene.
i don't care about either of you, but please leave my jacket at the bar sometime soon. unless you threw it in a city trash can on the corner once you realized no one would leave anything valuble in an unattended jacket.
who knows, maybe you fucks are wearing my pressed powder & eyeliner. jokes on you tomorrow at school - that shits waterproof and i'm willing to bet college boys don't know how to properly wash their face.
there are two possible endings to this story - i see my jacket again, or you're smart enough not to walk back into the bar and hope i don't recognize your shitty prepubescent patchy facial hair on the street.