Friday, January 21, 2011

Why do the French hate us?

On Tuesday, we saw the first rendering of the new boutique hotel being built on the Bowery by the Paris-based Louzon Group ...


Oh, sure... we had some fun with the design... but the joke's on us. Late yesterday afternoon, the Observer (via Curbed) unleashed the NEW rendering... This is not a joke.


Per the Observer:

As you can see in these new renderings provided by the building's architect, Gene Kaufman, it has light up balconies that will shimmer at night, bringing a bit of that dance-club flare back to the cleaned up thoroughfare.

And some Curbed commentary:

"It also has what appears to be a Jumbotron. The Bowery goes Times Square! So when can we expect the M&M's store?"

Previously on EV Grieve:
Reactions to new Bowery hotel: 'It would be cheaper and more useful just to blow up the building and leave a 30-foot crater'

26 comments:

Alex in NYC said...

I looks like it has a bad case of acne.

EV Grieve said...

@ALex

Ha! True!

Morgan Tsvangirai said...

The huge TV screen is so absurd. It's like a fuck you to the neighborhood.

Also, this quote makes me want to puke:

bringing a bit of that dance-club flare back to the cleaned up thoroughfare.

Fantastic.

Stedman said...

Hideous. Truly, truly hideous.

glamma said...

can we please protest this as a grievous crime against east villagers?

Lisa said...

I didn't think version #1 could be any more hideous. Now I see how very, very wrong I was. Seriously, can we protest this at CB3?

esquared said...

jenga!

Anonymous said...

I hear that DeNiro has his eye on the penthouse

RyanAvenueA said...

If they build a fucking paradis du fruit I'm gonna lose it.

T.E.V.B. said...

WTF? Looks like a sea anemone.

Marty Wombacher said...

It looks like a single-color Rubix Cube having a nervous breakdown.

blue glass said...

so, it went from cotton balls to neon lego?
perhaps they should reduce the size and make it a futuristic jungle gym for the new cooper union park scheduled to take over the traffic lanes.
the idea of taking astor place and the surrounding area for their own use has been on the mind of cooper union for a long time. they had (and probably still have) a rendering (drawn by that famous architect daffy duck) of a cafe like park for that area hanging in the community affairs office as far back as the 1970s.
i don't think you can protest the building unless they are getting some kind of zoning benefit, air rights of some other building, or something like that. think st ann's church and the monstrosity that has been built there.

Anonymous said...

I don't know...

I kinda think it actually might be a joke.
Seems like the designers might have just floated this to fuck with plan critics.
Jumbotron is probably not zoned.

Then again; maybe I'm just naive.
Yeah... That's probably it.

Anonymous said...

This is nothing short of an attack. Fuck you France. It's not fair that absentee architects get to indulge their most pointless and narcissistic design impulses and then not have to live with the results. There should be some law that buildings must be designed by a local resident. Otherwise there's no accountability and innocent residents have to put up with eyesores like these on an everyday basis. It's all a big joke and the residents of the LES are the butt.

Cookiepuss said...

Once erected there's a possibility that the building could turn on the Louzon Group causing them to fall into a stifling guilt induced depression leading them towards suicide by hanging themselves off the sides of the building shattering all the glass and presenting us with a cutting edge site specific group art piece that blurs the boundaries between art, design, performance and commodity.

Anonymous said...

NO. NO. NO PLEASE HOW CAN THIS BE ALLOWED?
IS THERE NOT ZONING? ATROCIOUS.
I am disgusted!
Imagine this happening in Le Marais?!?

Bowery Boy said...

Clearly, they are trying to start the community dialogue way off on their end of the spectrum, so that when they scale back to something only half-hideous, we'll drop to our knees in thanks and beg them to build asap. It's all a set-up to scam us into a future approval.

Goggla said...

WTF?! This looks like the guy from Hellraiser with McD's french fry box over his head.

@Bowery Boy - agreed. A few more of these 'renderings' and the original white POS won't look so bad.

EV Grieve said...

@Bowery Boy

Agreed! Which is why we should have some fun right back.

Anonymous said...

If you live in one of those units, do you get to turn your balcony off? Or do you have to live with the red lights blaring through your window all night? Wouldn't that be a kind of justice to d-bags buying condos that support the d-bag-ification of the Bowery?

So many questions.

Jill said...

Ummm no there is no zoning.

I guarantee they are floating these horrible ideas so that when their *real* horrible idea is trucked out it will seem less horrible than these and nobody will protest too loudly, ie "well at least it's not the cotton ball or jenga building." Watch.

Bowery Alliance of Neighbors said...

Save a piece of history on the Bowery. PRESS CONFERENCE AND RALLY TO SAVE 35 COOPER SQUARE FROM DEMOLITION. Friday, 1/28 at 4:30 pm. The monstrosities passing as development on the Bowery are destroying the history and culture of this community.

Jean S said...

Horror thy name is development on the Bowery.

Anonymous said...

lol at all of you getting your panties in a twist since buildings are not constructed in 1950s styles forever and ever and ever.

I'm not saying I enjoy the building. If anything, it looks unique - better without the stupid light-up balconies. But you do have to remember, it is just a building. Chill out (or not, since this is a bitch-bitch-bitch blog and comments section).

Anonymous said...

This is jackass!, primarily a 1950's formal modernist box structure with some other ornamental shit thrown on top. Chill out and tighten your pad bitch! Buildings that go up these days are not just buildings either, but rather representations of power, so I'm glad you don't like it.

-------m said...

OK FOLKS - can you now see that the time is upon us to join/support The Bowery Alliance of Neighbors in their quest for SANE ZONING RESTRICTIONS on the East side of The Bowery !! --- they are already in place on the West side of The Bowery