Tuesday, April 24, 2012

What does it take to become the 'super nanny' for an A-list celeb's daughter?

A little mid-afternoon entertainment via a reader... from Craigslist (whether it's real, you never know...):

**** DAUGHTER OF A-LIST CELEB SEEKS DREAM NANNY ! $1500 WKLY ****** (Greenwich Village)
Please DO NOT Apply if you do not ADHERE TO ALL REQUIREMENTS BELOW
DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT apply if you are not a resident of NEW YORK.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I CAN NOT REITERATE ENOUGH, PLEASE DO NOT APPLY UNLESS YOU MEET THESE VERY SPECIFIC GUIDELINES BELOW. PLEASE READ ALL and FOLLOW VERY STRICT INSTRUCTIONS OR YOUR RESUME WILL BE DELETED.

I am looking for my Dream Nanny. Immediate hire. Interviews beginning TODAY and TOMORROW $1500 on the books. I want you to be part of our family and for my kids to adore you until they go to college.

JOB DESCRIPTION:
This is a LONG TERM position (15 years + COMMITMENT) for someone who is LEGAL to WORK as a LIVE-IN NANNY.... NO EXCEPTIONS. THIS IS A STRUCTURED AND BUSY JOB WITH RULES, TO-DO LISTS, ETC. You will NOT be left to care for my children alone. I will always be present and I am an active stay-at-home mom. ***** I HAVE HOUSEKEEPER, your job is to be my SUPER NANNY, but of course clean up after the kids and do their laundry (rarely) if needed.

HOURS: 6 FULL DAYS, OR 7 if you need a place to stay. ******You can choose EITHER TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY as your DAY OFF. Summer days ( July & August Hamptons)

CHILDREN: 13 month old girl, 3 year old boy and newborn on the way (3 children)

YOU MUST BE Physically fit & Agile, energetic, active, have good intuition, be loving, engaging, and creative. Can you chase after 3 kids running in all 3 different directions? When my children are playing on the floor will you roll around with them? Can you crawl and jump? Can they climb on your back and hug and kiss you because they love you and think you are the best Nanny ever? I want someone who will stay with my children all while they are in grade school and high school until they leave for college.

1. PHOTO PHOTO PHOTO PHOTO! DO NOT EMAIL WITHOUT A PHOTO
2. List References NAME, and Contact NUMBER (All references will be contacted AFTER I talk to you first
3. Send RESUME
4. MUST have experience as a LIVE-IN NANNY (newborn- age 4 experience)
*** MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH MULTIPLES (twins, triplets a plus)
5. MUST have been with prior families LONG-TERM, ie, 3+ years
6. RESPOND with either TUESDAY or WEDNESDAY in the subject line (as your day off) to let me know you have READ THE ENTIRE POST. ALL RESUMES THAT DO NOT ADHERE WILL BE DELETED. I need someone who pays attention to detail. If you can not follow simple instructions here, I do not want you caring for my children.
7. MUST BE Fluent in English --- can read, write, speak.
8. NOT allergic to animals - We have a large strong dog who roams as he pleases
*** MUST BE NEAT FREAK, & Super Organized
9. SWIM is a MUST! We travel to Hamptons, take boat trips and go to beach and pool when weather is warm.
at

16 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    Nanny Diaries much?

    ReplyDelete
  2. touristApril 24, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    people are so crazy these days its getting annoying and boring.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MakeoutApril 24, 2012 at 3:53 PM

    Jeez.Sounds like a total gash.

    ReplyDelete
  4. --------mApril 24, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    ....W T F !!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. marjorieApril 24, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    I was about to post "Rule of thumb: If you call yourself an A-LIST CELEB, you're not." Then I realized she's NOT calling herself an A-list celeb -- she's saying she's the DAUGHTER of one. Even sadder.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ashley ShaefferApril 24, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    When these kids are old enough to realiz how F****ed in the head head mom is,they will( or should) run for the hills.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Marty WombacherApril 24, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    I didn’t know James Brown had a daughter living in New York!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    Damn! 1500 a week? Sign me up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 5:43 PM

    Even more amusing because Ms. Daughter of A-List's proposal to pay fixed salary violates the wage and hour laws. Guess she forgot that "detail."

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    Stay at home mom needs a 6 day a week Nanny, dearrrrrrrrrrr lorrrrrd, it hurts the head and heart. Safe bet she's not giving birth to those kids herself either.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 7:00 PM

    QUE ??

    ReplyDelete
  12. Uncle WaltieApril 25, 2012 at 3:50 AM

    I love kids. Skewered on a stick with a little bit of mustard and A1 steak sauce.
    Freely after WC Fields.

    ReplyDelete
  13. argieApril 25, 2012 at 7:22 AM

    This must be a joke, no???????????

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousApril 25, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Soliciting childcare from Craig's List. Yeah, that's good parenting.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dave-everywhereApril 25, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    This is the most humorous thing I've read on this blog in a long time. And if it wasn't meant to be funny, it's the most pitiful thing I've read on any blog.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Big BrotherApril 25, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    I didn't know Suri Cruise had a child? Interesting.

    ReplyDelete

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