Sunday, April 7, 2013

Blockbusters: ('Alleged') 'Bearial Shroud' discovered on East Second Street

This, of course, was the somber scene on East Second Street between Avenue B and Avenue C last Sunday morning... Easter Sunday morning...



And now, there are claims, thus far unsubstantiated, on the very same fence, that ... well, see for yourself...





A neighbor, who asked not be named, said that archaeologists excavated the only known JoBear la Stuffing-era burial shroud in the East Village.

What's more, the remains of the bear wrapped in the shroud are said to hold DNA evidence of a picnic basket. Carbon-dating studies suggested the shroud was made between A.D. 2007 and 2009.

However, until researchers can conduct more, uh, research, the use of "alleged" will accompany the description to help temper expectations and prevent the block from becoming a tourist trap for various pilgrim types.

Previously on EV Grieve:
A brief history of humiliating Teddy bears in the East Village
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3 comments:

  1. DrBOPApril 7, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Not SURE this will bear further examination.....

    seems bearly feasible......

    ......Oh Gawd....can't bear it any longer......

    must stop falling into your trap Mistah Grieve....
    ......no.....NO.....NOT "your 'bear' trap" DAMMIT!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ken from Ken's KitchenApril 7, 2013 at 11:34 AM

    I hope the remains of the picnic basket didn't include stuffing.

    BTW, EV. Regarding testing on the shroud. Yes, they traced the making of the shroud to around A.D. 2007 - 2009, but there's a possible margin of error of 250 years.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 7, 2013 at 4:13 PM

    This restores my faith in Bearanity!! Praise Yogi!!!

    ReplyDelete

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