tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post499104414063045368..comments2024-03-28T16:06:42.424-04:00Comments on EV Grieve: [Updated] Markey Hayden Bena, 1956-2010Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-78621442355912239982020-01-04T14:22:28.188-05:002020-01-04T14:22:28.188-05:00I did not spend a lot of time with Markey.
But, e... I did not spend a lot of time with Markey.<br /> But, every moment we spent together was, to me fabulous and, clearly etched in my mind. <br /> I, a freshman in College looking for interesting, cool friends. <br /> Markey Bena was comprehensively extraordinary and by far, the most magnetic human I have ever met.<br /> He lived in the moment, was so engaged in the world, multi talented and not an ego, supremely cool, brilliant and intriguing, grounded, happy, kind, evolved, balanced, simultaneously chill and exciting.<br />i have never met anyone like hm and was, and will forever remain, one of his many moths.<br /><br />My life has been exceptionally, too, busy...peace at last.<br />Last week a decades old memory popped up,,.. Markey asked if Id take photos of his band, I was excited & hoped to impress, there he was with his thick, punk hair, jean jacket and jeans, boots, unbuttoned shirt, cover man face, singing his heart out, they were electric. When I developed the photos, they were blurry and he amazed again, his EQ was high, whatever he said made everything okay. As I googled him, the possibilities flitted... a rock band front man, song writer or, brilliant and gutsy writer who got minds thinking and important, sensitive issues on the table. Likely in a unique, adoring relationship with a free spirited, brilliant, interesting, beautiful inside and out woman.<br /><br />So Markey, Im not certain you would remember me but, I will never forget you. I am not happy that I was not even aware, much less there for you and, its my loss that you are gone. I know, blah blah blah, but I gotta say it...If I could roll back time, Id visit you in E vil. And, however you chose or were forced to evolve or combo....No matter what you said to me, no matter your world, I would have been in your life if you would have had me. Oh, for 10 minutes to be with and talk to you. My eyes are swollen, heart heavy and pacifist soul thinking not such peaceful thoughts about the demons who harmed you. Those gorgeous, dynamic, full of promise eyes, deeply hurt, disillusioned, bruised. Physically sick. <br /><br />The unsuprising beauty in this online snapshot into Markeys life is... so much appreciation for who he was, real love, many beautiful souls who were friends with Markey...Peace to you all. <br /><br />Markey, I hope to see you on the other side.<br /><br />Love and hugs, Tina 508735972<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />Tinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-44957257150752002642017-11-07T18:57:32.799-05:002017-11-07T18:57:32.799-05:00It was the least and the last we could do for Mark...It was the least and the last we could do for Markey, avbear11. Hard to believe that it's been more than 7 years... we will never forget him.Lis Cherrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06674304609919204531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-83356039374165312432017-11-06T10:46:56.040-05:002017-11-06T10:46:56.040-05:00wanted to thank who ever started this as well as a...wanted to thank who ever started this as well as all the great things u all said about my cousin.avbear11https://www.blogger.com/profile/10770362491629498339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-40705506403445893312010-11-23T13:06:48.091-05:002010-11-23T13:06:48.091-05:00markey's -
tday = favourite holiday.
no gift...markey's - <br />tday = favourite holiday. <br />no gifts no religion <br />good food. the best, considering.<br />prep the meal. get drunk. <br />go to sleep wake up. <br />drink bloody beers; beer + tomato juice<br />get to work. the parade is on the t.v. <br />meal's done eat and drink and eat. <br />watch fooooootttttbbbbbaaaallllll.<br />more beers.<br />fooooootttbbbaaalllalalalala.<br />leftovers sandwiches.<br />a movie, or david letterman.<br />sleep.<br /><br />markey would've been a blogger.<br /><br />too freaking bad!!!!<br /><br />tday makes me remember markey and blogging insists he missed - damn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-12496091441907479102010-10-20T19:31:24.583-04:002010-10-20T19:31:24.583-04:00I knew Markey through my friend Jen seacor. We had...I knew Markey through my friend Jen seacor. We had a great time together and I always found him to be a gentle person who just loved Jenifer so much. they were both at our engagement night in nyc and at our wedding (9/11/88). When I had my first daughter and visited Jen In Chappaqua, NY… Jen's mom told me that Jen was in rehab and could not visit Markey. We got them together that weekend, but their drug addictions just were too strong. I can't believe Markey is dead, and I can't find Jenifer Dobbins seacor. Is she dead too? I hope not.kimberly cordaronoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-70552349672599868702010-09-10T15:06:51.400-04:002010-09-10T15:06:51.400-04:00http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoHH4fLWpu0&NR=...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoHH4fLWpu0&NR=1<br /><br />my love is vengeance<br /><br />Goodbye MarkeyCaroline and Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15385918861109936587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-14270148004568505192010-08-13T00:18:02.654-04:002010-08-13T00:18:02.654-04:00The site administrator is fully capable of contact...The site administrator is fully capable of contacting me on behalf of the family, and the family only. If nothing else I might, maybe, put this was he or wasn't he beaten prior to his demise to bed already. That people are still wondering is disturbing. I am not suggesting I have any secrets. I am not suggesting that others may have secrets. But based on my reading here, it still is not clear what exactly Markey died of. And that's okay because when all is said and done it's none of our business.<br /><br />BTW, I watched some of "BarFly" the other night. I couldn't finish it. Not to romanticize Markey, but still.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-30065481062564106592010-08-12T13:42:03.799-04:002010-08-12T13:42:03.799-04:00My brother introduced me and my friends to a lot o...My brother introduced me and my friends to a lot of good music - Blondie, Elvis Costello, the Ramones, the Talking Heads - a lot of which I still listen to, to this day. I also have very fond memories of hanging out with him at Max's Kansas City, The Ritz, and CBGB.<br /><br /> When I was applying to college, I had to write my application essay on being different. In my essay, I wrote a lot about New Wave Music. I said that I like that kind of music rather than the "masses are asses" Stadium Rock that everybody else listened to. It just so happened that the admissions officer with whom I had my interview was a fan of New Wave Music herself.<br /><br /> What I'm trying to say is that, in a manner of speaking, Markey helped me get get into college.Parkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-19844057511181716942010-08-07T08:01:33.863-04:002010-08-07T08:01:33.863-04:00the effort to understand what happened is a natura...the effort to understand what happened is a natural impulse. Markey would have let efforts to understand go after he'd said "wha the f?" he'd shake his head and go back to reading the daily news. and piss, I din't get to ask him what he thought about Maureen Dowd and the BP/Obama mess. D*mn.<br />He was a sparkley cali boy. he'd been thru too much. he continued to try to survive. he wanted to write. he wanted to be published. and he would've like the poetry that not everyone can understand. he would not like proposals of possibilities. I want to say he liked the kennedy's not nixon, but I'm sure that'll cause a stir. <br />I want to know what happened, I want to be certain because I wonder if his last moments were dreadful, and I think I've come close to believing they were not.<br />peaceAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-7739073101430443372010-08-03T23:21:40.240-04:002010-08-03T23:21:40.240-04:00Dear Most Recent Anonymous:
Yes, Markey was a wor...Dear Most Recent Anonymous:<br /><br />Yes, Markey was a wordsmith. You? I can't understand WTF you are saying. Reminds me of a line from a leonard cohen tune--something about 'lousy little poets trying to sound like Charlie Manson.'<br /><br />So on to the "memorial." The 9/11 funeral parlor thing. Anybody going? I am not.<br /><br />I thought of possibly auctioning something off to pay for something or something. ANy ideas? <br /><br />I'm fairly certain it's behind my refigerator in an envelope addressed to that evening's host, who, months later, it would be wasted on now. <br /><br />I was going to mail him the fiver I got Markey to kick in for beer. Not because the dude needed the five, but that it was A Five From Marky. :-)<br /><br />Yes, I believe I have a five-spot from Markey's own pocket. I believe it is still behind the fridge. Maybe.<br /><br />Any sentimentalists interested? I'll turn it over to EVG for auction for some kind of memorial.<br /><br />If I spent it or lost it I apologize, but I think it may very well be there.<br /><br />FWIWAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-11867607757329742292010-08-03T12:47:02.893-04:002010-08-03T12:47:02.893-04:00*Markey was my cousin and my friend.
We were close...*Markey was my cousin and my friend.<br />We were close in age and a little bit close in intellect(his superior) <br />*Just before my mother died I was having problems in my home as the only girl.<br />*Markey's mom and dad took me in a few times. He gave my uncle Joe a run for his money with that mouth that, I see, he still had.<br />*Thank You All for your stories as to what he was like and still like.<br />*We all loose touch with some family members especially when they move across the country...I now live in Hawaii.<br />*I am 16 yrs sober(today and its 10am where I am in Colorado this minute and I could drink today) and as an alcoholic myself can identify with the series of bad breaks and misunderstandings that can occur when one does not continue to try to seek to achieve sobriety.<br />*I am not here to judge.<br />*I am here to express, not only the grief of a lost family member through death, but the lost family member through geography and the breakdown of THE American Family in general.<br />*I am here to express my empathy with the rest of MY family (However scattered and damaged they may be).<br />*Let us never forget how "damaged" we all are.<br /><br />*I am sure my cousin is in a better place and I forgive the "sicker" people who beat him. His blood is on their hands and they must continue in their own skin.<br />*See you on the other side Cuz!<br />May you always be exactly where you want to be! <br /><br />ALOHA NUI,<br />Sandicuznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-60617363945242583252010-08-03T07:04:59.509-04:002010-08-03T07:04:59.509-04:00not boo after the perp (or the peep like little bo...not boo after the perp (or the peep like little bow), silly, boo to anyone making another potentially false allegation. <br />The concerns bout someone saying they'd scope and it didn't go THEIR way.<br />Markey no likey the bs. Not woo. <br />Markey liked to be left alone, case you didn't get it. <br />He'll never be drooged again. Or will he on these strange posts that try to say something. <br />Language can be a weapon. <br />Mr. Bena was a wordsmith, if nothing else. He would no likey making words sing like a canary with no wings.<br />The simple question ~ was he beaten or did he fall? <br />And if it took one blow, how does one do that to one's self? <br />Was he beaten, or did he fall?<br />If you can't answer that, you can't answer that. Tautology. And you know what that is ; )Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-77978909964212422242010-08-02T01:08:59.506-04:002010-08-02T01:08:59.506-04:00Even if you thought you maybe possibly remotely kn...Even if you thought you maybe possibly remotely knew something that maybe even the teeniest bit relevant maybe just maybe to the point of keeping you awake at night but maybe and unlikely possible but not impossible, the det. squad at the 9th... What is the strongest opposite of 'woo?' (Markey would know.) As in never call them about anything ever?<br /><br />A highlight: "Why don't you give me your name???" "Because I'm scared!" "What do you have to be afraid of, you are talk to a NYPD police officer?"<br /><br />Um. Yeah. Um, nothing personal dude. But you might like to learn the culture around here.<br /><br />But I feel better. Less heavy. I was after all assured by the 9th I had absolutely nothing to bring to the party. This is a Good Thing because I don't WANT to have anything to bring. I was just wondering.<br /><br />This is about NYPD; not Markey.<br /><br />Irony was not wasted on Markey. I hope he can laugh at us from wherever we go when we kick off. And if one can laugh from there, I reckon he is. :-) And even if, say, he had a head injury (not clear) that Ghost wouldn't go boo'ing after the perp anyway. He wouldn't sell his soul for even a beer.<br /><br />Me? Just an example of someone who can't letting something go without leaving scratch marks all over it. <br /><br />I'm ready now to RIP, but in the petite morte thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-57109534914706144022010-07-31T12:11:07.793-04:002010-07-31T12:11:07.793-04:00Stirring and stirring and stirring.
The pot. Not e...Stirring and stirring and stirring.<br />The pot. Not enough time to salve the hearts of those around?<br />A post suggesting that there is something we need to know? One can't post 'facts' on the net and then sit back to wait for, well, what? Resolving the problem of what happened to Markey would be fine, but to tantalize with saying there is information that isn't being given? That's a sucker punch, and Markey was a great boxing fan/analyst. He'd say "Boo" (being a ghost and all).<br />Thanks. And Peace Be With Us All.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-51289632686799626912010-07-29T21:52:36.808-04:002010-07-29T21:52:36.808-04:00I remember markey from the ghosts. a great band bo...I remember markey from the ghosts. a great band bound for obscurity. you can't even find them through google, but they were the house band at CBGBs for a short time. Markey will be missed.MANGOZEEN BLOGGERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04910916449468416866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-57203692664382111052010-07-29T18:24:22.473-04:002010-07-29T18:24:22.473-04:00I still think about this loss every day. Will try...I still think about this loss every day. Will try to find that photo I have of him holding the dog. I questioned his taste on some aspects of music, but he was dead on about others. He sucked as a bandmate because he kept nodding, but he was great inspiration with the "get out there and do it". He was well read, and he always up on current events. He sure did have a way of pissing people off, and somewhere did lack a certainly survival skill. I have seen him do some dumb ass shit and then be surprised when the dumb ass shit didn't work out. But on his best days, he was the best of the best, and I am so so so sad I'll never get to shoot the shit with him again. I wouldn't be who I am without having known him, and it's clear from the other comments that many feel the same. I hope he knows how loved he is.<br /><br />peace amigomalcontentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-92100826191907119842010-07-29T01:25:49.960-04:002010-07-29T01:25:49.960-04:00Well, it's been days and days since I put out ...Well, it's been days and days since I put out the word I would try to scoop out the details. No one other than gossipers came forward, and I can't help the civilly paranoid. I also don't have the time to scope just for the sake of doing so, or out of morbid curiousity, or just because I can. I offered tho.'<br /><br />Meanwhile someone is getting around to a memorial at Andrett's Funeral Home on 9/11 of all fucking days. Andrett's has an internet guest book from where you can 'send flowers to the family' wherever they are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-31466194668083062442010-07-28T23:28:59.332-04:002010-07-28T23:28:59.332-04:00From another old girlfriend…
We were together a re...From another old girlfriend…<br />We were together a relatively short time but I am realizing today how much he gave me and impacted my life. Markey introduced me to some of my all-time favorite music- Patti Smith, Aztec Camera, Television, Dream Syndicate, and we saw some great shows together, Steve Wynn, Robyn Hitchcock, including the filming of Storefront Hitchcock. I have always and will always treasure the time we spent together. Although I have been out of touch with him for many years, from other’s words here I see the Markey I knew still evident despite his troubles- a kind, gentle, generous soul, one of the most brilliant people I have ever known, sweet and funny, with a sense of style all his own. Since I found out he was in NYC again I have searched for him, unsuccessfully, whenever I have been in the City. I deeply regret I never got to see him again. It’s been heartbreaking to read of everything he’s been through, although comforting to know he had people who cared about him, tried to help him and recognized what an incredible person he was through it all.<br /><br />Markey- I truly hope you are at peace. There’s a place in my heart that will always be yours.<br />With much love-<br />Tee DeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-88813617176810919522010-07-28T07:25:07.222-04:002010-07-28T07:25:07.222-04:00Marky was a central figure in the Tau gang at Hoba...Marky was a central figure in the Tau gang at Hobart that was responsible for taking this sheltered suburban snot and moving him toward a more "worldly" look at things. I had never met anyone quite like him and undoubtedly never will again. He was the candle to many a young moth. It sounds like his own wings eventually failed him. It's both sad and strangely comforting to know that he never got past his youthful ways. I will hoist a PBR or or two to him when I get a chance.Mike Battistoninoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-55338429160310826192010-07-28T05:36:43.490-04:002010-07-28T05:36:43.490-04:00Markey's remains are being processed as remain...Markey's remains are being processed as remains are processed. It takes some time because of all the bureaucratic stuff that goes into the management of a corpse. It's the Law.<br />I am sure Markey would have liked a sky burial tho it's not available to the family. He didn't have a will of any sort thus the final days are handled by his aunt, taking care.<br />His mother refused to speak with him at the end due to his alcoholism. <br />Please, mothers, always be good to your sons. Let us not perpetuate the cross of dysfunction. Markey's heart bled at the thought of his mother rejecting him. <br />It may be that some of you know me, as I spent the last years with Markey. He lived with my family. I am responding to the posts as anonymous as I am with the jury still out. Because number one, I don't like the police and number two I don't like cops. <br />I'll choose the two scenario route. He may have fallen, or he may not have fallen.<br />Yes, he was weakened by the blows to the head. His vascular system was stressed by the hardening of his liver. He was cirrhotic, it messes with the blood pressure and also makes vessel bursting on impact much more likely.<br />I am in shock. Markey had no desire to go. He was relaxed in who he was. He had made peace with is choices. Problem was in the final months and days he was losing it. And he was vulnerable.<br />He's left behind some sweet sweet friends. It's also brilliant to read the posts of his former/lost friends. <br />Markey would've been a great blogger. He employed typists (myself include) to get his word out. <br />He loved his aunt and the kids of his last days not naming names but he did love the younger ones which speaks to his desire to go on.<br />Markey, you sh*t. Did you really fall?<br />goo bye.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-42013535979883618232010-07-27T23:04:54.787-04:002010-07-27T23:04:54.787-04:00Vicky Rose
Marky was my boyfriend when I hit the ...Vicky Rose <br />Marky was my boyfriend when I hit the scene at CBGBs. He gave me a crash course in New wave and Punk Rock without ever meaning to. He connected all the music history dots as wellas the socila impact of it all. Man, we had great conversations, saw a lot of great shows, did a lot of serious drinking (which I taught HIM about)and other stuff which shall remain private. He had that great laugh which could really get me going either way (depending on which way he directed it). He could aggravate the piss put of people because he had a near matchless vocabulary backed by a gimlet insight. He could make the truth hurt. i loved watching him perform...he poured his heart into it...he LOVED being a punk. Adios Markey.Vicky Rosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-78439922807961249362010-07-27T23:04:40.682-04:002010-07-27T23:04:40.682-04:00No matter what, you are still my brother and I wil...No matter what, you are still my brother and I will always love you.Parkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-44836691558140708212010-07-27T21:18:15.066-04:002010-07-27T21:18:15.066-04:00Markey was a true one of a kind. There is no one ...Markey was a true one of a kind. There is no one that I know that holds a candle to him as far as intelligence and wit, and they have homes and bathe and aren't addicts.<br /><br />Imagine that. Imagine preferring the company of a dirty homeless drunk to that of anybody else you know. That was Markey. Good and interesting company for those with sophisticated taste. <br /><br />Brilliant. Funny. A rare one in every and any community. And stupid, naive, and an asshole even, but Markey had class, even when he stank. He stank of class too and he never tried or cared.<br /><br />I don't see him ever hitting anybody, but I've seen him spew spittle from his big mouth when pissed off. I've even been on the other side of it.<br /><br />Seeing his picture above is bringing this home just now, and I'm sad. Real sad. Others I know are in true bereavement.<br /><br />He also had a child-like quality that I know pulled at my maternal strings, not that I didn't make him reach into his pocket to chip in for beer. Maybe it was that mother thing in me he responded to.<br />Where was his, by the way?<br /><br />Dead from a fall? Markey was always getting the shit kicked out of him or breaking his own bones by doing cartoonish stuff like jumping into the East River to bathe... Dead from a fall to the ground head injury? Hopefully the jury is still out.<br /><br />And is it true he's still in the morgue?<br /><br />Unedited. Incomplete. I'm not in the mood for vanity.<br /><br />Bon Voyage, Markey Hayden BenaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-34343181337157063942010-07-27T14:10:48.303-04:002010-07-27T14:10:48.303-04:00I dated Markey in college; never saw him again aft...I dated Markey in college; never saw him again after that although somehow I thought we'd meet up eventually, if only to look back on some wild times. Markey had charisma and talent in abundance, and I'm sad to learn that he was never able to overcome his demons. Greetings to my fellow Tauians; y'all have been on my mind since I heard about Markey - may he rest, finally, in peace.Lis Cherrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06674304609919204531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5694390946037511355.post-1410315430084061212010-07-27T13:26:01.662-04:002010-07-27T13:26:01.662-04:00This is so, so sad...my heart goes out to those wh...This is so, so sad...my heart goes out to those who knew and loved Markey.Laura Goggin Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15517481509431547970noreply@blogger.com