Friday, March 5, 2010

This is not a test: Cooper Union in imminent danger of "projectile vomiting"


A friendly tipster passed along the following from a Cooper Union student, who — wisely at first — thought the e-mail below was a hoax given all the upheaval there of late. But it is not.

From: bulkmail@cooper.edu
Date: March 3, 2010 2:37:35 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: A nasty stomach virus at Cooper

Cooper has been hit by a 48 hour stomach virus, characterized by projectile vomiting and high temperatures.
Wash your hands frequently with soap and water. This is the single most effective preventive step you can take.
Go back to using the Purell dispensers.
Try not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth.
Avoid large gatherings.
If you get the virus, stay home! Drink lots of fluids.

Alan Wolf
Campus-wide Safety Coordinator


Our friends at EV Heave have been notified. He or she has made the necessary preparations for the weekend, and is already on the scene. See for yourself.
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10 comments:

  1. pinheadMarch 5, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    Time to upgrade the servers at Heave. I take a class at Cooper Wednesday evenings, so if I catch the bug, Grieve gets the exclusive photos!

    ReplyDelete
  2. EV HeaveMarch 5, 2010 at 10:36 AM

    I will pay more than Grieve for the photo exclusive!

    ReplyDelete
  3. EV GrieveMarch 5, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    Don't listen to him or her Pinhead. Heave still owes all his freelancers!

    ReplyDelete
  4. pinheadMarch 5, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    Sorry, Heave. You're nothing but fluff and sensationalism. I need a hard-hitting journalist to tell my story.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Barbara L. HansonMarch 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    Dear god, please stop with the puke. What next, the bloody stool alert?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Laura Goggin PhotographyMarch 5, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    'Avoid large gatherings.'

    I think this 'virus' is being used as a scare tactic to prevent a student revolt.

    ReplyDelete
  7. EV GrieveMarch 5, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    @ Goggla.... Or to keep those students out of McSorley's....

    ReplyDelete
  8. VH McKenzieMarch 5, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    I can't take the vomit stories anymore.

    When my kids start heaving, I'm willing to hold out my hands and catch the puke -- anything to keep from having to change the sheets in the middle of the night.

    But college kids -- I don't even want to READ about .

    Please. No. More. Puke.

    ReplyDelete
  9. akMarch 5, 2010 at 3:10 PM

    i mostly enjoy the vomit stories.

    more so, i like the heads-up on the 48 hour stomach virus travelling through cooper union and the related high likely-hood of it passing through the neighborhood/local subways/city.

    i really really really REALLY hate stomach viruses.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jeremiah MossMarch 5, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    oh god, the "bloody stool alert." that would be something.

    ReplyDelete

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