Here's your almost everyday listing (from Halstead) for a $1.85 million condo on East Ninth Street:
This is a high-end, recently renovated, 3 bedroom/2.5 bath (with office) quiet, corner apartment, surrounded by treetops. Unit 5/KL is the product of a seamless combination with fabulous flow and utilization of space. The large dining area is right off the open kitchen, distinct from the substantial living room. There is a separate home office, with built-in desks. Eight huge closets, including a double-wide food pantry adjacent to the dining area, boast custom-fit, adjustable shelving. The renovated kitchen features a widowed sink, custom built cabinetry, and top of the line appliances, such as a Subzero refrigerator and a Bosch dishwasher. The doors, moldings and light fixtures are all new and the electrical wiring upgraded. The crown jewel is the legal Miele washer dryer. 115 East 9th Street is one of the few full-service, doorman buildings in the East Village with its hallways currently undergoing a beautiful, modern renovation. It is near both Union Square and Washington Square parks, and multiple subway lines. It has a garage, rentable storage space, bike room, meeting/playroom and a laundry room, (not that you will need it). You will pay a very low maintenance, because the building has no underlying mortgage, making the apartment a great value. Pets are permitted with board approval. Pied-a-Terre and guarantors are not allowed.
And of all the photos of this home on the Halstead, there's not one of the crown jewel feature!
wow east 9th street has come along way since we were in a squat
ReplyDeleteA "Widowed sink"? What the hell is THAT, pray? If they mean "stand-alone sink", then fucking say so, you pretentious vermin posers. A widowed sink sounds as if it used to be married to the toilet bowl and got flushed...
ReplyDelete"The crown jewel is the legal Miele washer dryer."
ReplyDeleteGive me the bootleg Miele washer dryer any day of the week. It adds a feeling of danger as you're washing your underwear.
Yow: Vermin? I think "widowed" sink is merely a typo for "windowed" sink: the sink is
ReplyDeletepositioned under a window. Real Estate people can be pretentious, and certainly obnoxious, and they are also notoriously poor writers. But honestly, I'd say a kitchen sink under a window is a nice feature, and a luxurious one in apartments where windows can be scarce.
I agree with HippieChick; as someone who was very unexpectedly widowed, I take great offense to the terminology of a "widowed sink". But her outraged comment and Marty's sardonic one re the "bootleg" Miele were both hilarious.
ReplyDeleteUm, not "widowed": misspelling/typing error for WINDOW as in "placed under a window".
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm not defending the fancy people who can afford these types of apartments, but I find the outrage erroneously generated over a typo to be as amusing as the ad.
ReplyDeleteYou guys must really hate copyeditors, who for decades have marked single lines at the tops of pages, and single 3-letter words on the last line of paragraphs, as "widows" and "orphans." :p
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Lisa, I am very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. But real estate people routinely butcher the English language. Most (at least the ones who write their own ads) are only semi-literate at best.