Shocking developments to report outside Gem Spa on Second Avenue and St. Mark's Place.
After two-plus years anchored to the right of Gem Spa's front door ... we arrived early this morning to find that Zoltar had been moved... to the left of the to-go window.
Basically Siberia.
Tucked away behind the postcards and Gem Spa chalkboard sign. Where people will be less likely to have their fortune told.
From a symmetry standpoint it sort of makes sense... balancing out the games of chance on either side of the door...
No word at this hour why Zoltar was moved... and if this is permanent... and what this means for your weekend plans...
He's filed a grievance with his union, the Society of American Glass-Enclosed Soothsayers. And he's suing EV Arrow--Zoltar calls him the point-arazzi.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinkin' (chorus of friends go "uh OH!") that this might not be too bad......Zoltar always has been at least a bit left of center.
ReplyDeleteEVG, I love you man, but perhaps it's time you took a vacation out of the 'hood…
ReplyDeleteNaaaaaaah just kidding.
Zoltar knows what this means for my weekend plans, and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteMeeting adversity well is the source of Zoltar's strength.
ReplyDeleteThing is, Zoltar will still call out in his booming voice, "I see you standing there! Yes, you! Come let Zoltar tell your fortune!"
ReplyDeleteZoltar got fed up with bros kicking chicken wings (he prefers fresh tortillas dipped in Mezcal) at him, and sorostitutes vomiting at him and blaming him on why he couldn't foretell that the Connors and Zachs weren't gonna call her after letting them throw hotdogs down the hallway.
ReplyDeleteYou would think he saw this coming...
ReplyDeleteSorositutes? Misogyny, any?
ReplyDeleteSorostitutes. Hi, you must be new to the nabe and blog. PC much? Would you prefer brohos? Zoltar says you are one.
ReplyDeleteI think it looks better in its new location. More symmetrical!
ReplyDeleteSomeone better get on the horn with the Bureau of Feng shui.
ReplyDeleteUh, no, Zoltar is a strong feminist because he loves the women in his life and knows that to denigrate other women on the basis of their sexuality is to devalue all women. Also, Zoltar knows that exercising his male privilege by sexualizing women -- even woooo-men -- would make him basically as douchey as any chicken wing and epithet flinging brah.
ReplyDeleteWhat's in a name for a ____ by any other name would smell as such.
ReplyDeleteUh, no , the bros like the Chads And Connors are strong feminist, very strong, since they love the women in they meet by treating them with such respect by sexualizing them and by laying them and leaving them. Even Zoltar knows that. Shoot the messenger. And ALL women are madonnas, saints, virgins, and angels. God bless the bros! U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.
Zoltar once told me that happiness is like a sunbeam which the least shadow shall intercept, while suffering is often as the rain of spring.
ReplyDeleteI'm never about Zoltar having been put in a corner.
ReplyDeleteCheaper rent?
ReplyDeleteF.A. Hayak
I wish they'd Zoltar on a permanent vacation with the Gabor sisters.
ReplyDelete