Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Stand out at SantaCon this Saturday by dressing in a polar bear suit



Per a seller on the Lower East Side via Craigslist:

Get the hottest costume for Santacon - a polar bear. Unleash the beast within. This costume is well constructed, warm, and stylish. Wearing this costume, you are guaranteed to grab the attention of the opposite sex. In fact, it's very likely they'll help you take it off. Buy it now!

The costume is clean and was worn once for a holiday event. I paid a lot more than I should have for it, but I couldn't resist. Now it's yours for half the price ($100) and twice the self-control.

The costume is four pieces: The head, the body (with attached gloves), and two feet (the feet have never been worn). It also comes with a convenient carrying bag. Buy it and make this the best Santacon of your goddamn life.

Might be fun to wear to the MulchFest 2016 as well!

Look for the gory details tomorrow on the SantaCon 2015 not-a-pubcrawl route.

15 comments:

  1. Or, stand out by not being drunk by 2PM in a polar bear costume you shat in at Noon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jim Glaser finally comes out as the organizer:

    SantaCon Fights for the Right to Party, Responsibly

    http://nytimes.com/2015/12/10/fashion/santacon-2015-fights-for-the-right-to-party.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. Megan: But it's so difficult to give Connor a handjob in that suit :-(

    ReplyDelete
  4. The weather forecast for Saturday is for temperatures to be in the mid 60s. Add 98.6 degrees of body heat from whoever the human burrito
    Is that will be wearing this thing, and you might as well just market it as an instant assisted suicide kit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've been waiting for this moment all year. Finally I'll be able to have a cocktail in my Santa suit. I'll be able to hang with all my B&T friends. It's gonna be a glorious Saturday. Wake me up before you go-go...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perfect, cuz it's gonna be 63 degrees on Saturday!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can't drink or order a drink unless head is removed, once head is removed won't be able to hookup during or after Santa Con since you will look like you spent the day in a sauna, won't be able to piss unless your best bro is willing reach into the hole you cut out of the costumes crotch and make a piss assist.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Really hope Anonymous@9:49am just made up the term "piss assist" for this comment, and that it's not a thing among bros ("Yo, bro, I need a piss assist.").

    ReplyDelete
  9. Polar Bears are facing extinction. I hope this costume will bring awareness to the situation.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Piss assist is what the NYPD provide when they look the other way while bro and ho are painting the town gold.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like the way the Romanians do it.

    "In Romania, like in other parts of the world, children go caroling at Christmas. In Romania, however, children wear real bear skins as they go from house to house, singing and dancing.

    Before the advent of Christianity, the bear was considered sacred, and the ancient tradition of children performing traditional songs to ward off evil in the new year is still popular in Romania.

    After the country's economic downturn, however, the tradition has moved from the countryside to the cities and children now perform for money from Christmas Eve until the New Year."

    from Mashable: http://mashable.com/2014/12/25/romanian-children-bear-skin/#7w55AjQAWSqp

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Amy Schumers will never get out of that thing in time for bombs away. Cut to the first comment.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Don't forget you can report Santacon BS to 311 online, all day, all night, at 311.gov.

    ReplyDelete

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