Friday, June 26, 2009

At Superdive



Superdive opened last night at 200 Avenue A. (So it was Thursday the 25th after all!)

A reader sent me a fairly lengthy e-mail early this morning after a night out at Superdive. The reader started off by saying: "Maybe you can excerpt something useful from this, but I don't know. It just wasn't that interesting." We'll be the judge of that!

To the reader's e-mail:

Upon entering, confronted with a wall of noise. It's *incredibly* loud. You can't make anything out — total wall of noise.

Near the door are some mini kegs stuck in ice. By the window are guys filling mugs from a mini kegerator. Very fratty, all around. Fratty smell, especially.

We try to figure out the bar situation. Confusing. It looks like there is no bar and patrons are just doing whatever, but really there is a bar. It's just surrounded by patrons. We eventually get drinks. My mixed drink is quite strong. This is good, as it took an eternity to get it. It was served by a bartender wearing legwarmers on her arms. As we're trying to secure drinks, we're hit by a blast of flatulence. Did I mention this place is fratty? We get our drinks and head toward the front. The girls here are CUTE.

There is a live band in the back, playing under an enormous lit sign that reads APPLAUSE. The sign is always lit. I do not clap. There is a guy on piano, trying to sing over the noise, and he's accompanied by a drummer. They're playing "When a Man Loves a Woman."

There are plastic cups everywhere.

We go for another round of drinks. We ask how much, and the bartender says "Ummm.... 30?" as if we're bartering. We pay. It seems fair for the amount of drink we're walking away with.

A cringing girlfriend leading her man away from his friends.

A group of girls enter, high-fiving each other. They are cute.

A guy in a yellow shirt starts to lose composure, head in hands. He's had enough beer.

"Thriller" is played (the pianist/drummer are done now). There is cheering, dancing.

And that's about it. We get bored and go for pizza.

25 comments:

  1. crap, ear shredding noise, flatulence, frat boys, drunks, wornout songs performed by hacks -- this is hell. Gimme an old Irish bar, small jukebox, guys and gals reading papers, hey, that's the Harp on the upper west side!

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  2. "when a man loves a woman"? on piano and drum? there's something almost david lynchian about that one moment--lost in an otherwise Porky's-like scene. grotesque.

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  3. Porky's meets Blue Velvet!

    I wish the reader had some video too.

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  4. It will be better when NYU is back in session.

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  5. So, it wasn't a gimmick after all. It's fo' shizzle Super Real, yo.

    I still can't fathom why would girls (cute or otherwise) would go here? -- to snag them a douchebag fratboy? I thought they came to NYC to snag them a Mr. Big or Patrick Bateman.

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  6. I walked by last night around 6pm and there was hardly anyone there. "Fratty" is definintely the vibe. I saw one female hanger-on in the requisite cutoffs and white tank, but no other women for miles. A couple of 30-something men got out of a cab as I stood there, clad in their khaki shorts and Members Only jackets and gave each other high-fives. That's when it dawned on me that I do hope this place lives on and keeps these people contained and away from my favorite places.

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  7. Isn't there a parents' basement somewhere this bullshit could be taking place instead?

    And I wish there were some sort of block ordinance that would disallow that absolute eyesore of a street sign. This is a residential neighborhood, not Las Vegas East.

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  8. I'm curious about the sign as well, lvv. I'm not familiar with the approval process for such things. What are the parameters for signage?

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  9. I guess opening a college town kind of bar makes sense considering the latest wave of kids to hit the neighborhood. I guess the hipster mecca days of the EV are really over now.

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  10. When I walked past the bar at 6:30pm last night, the patrons that I saw in the window and milling about outside were all men that looked nearly identical: bald or buzzed hair, shorts, pressed button-down or golf shirts, gold chains and finger rings. There there was one hipster with shades and fedora wearing a white t-shirt with the hand-written words "Goodbye, Turkey". Didn't see one female.

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  11. Thanks for the comment, anon. Sounds about right! Goodbye Turkey, though?

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  12. I was there for one drink and SCoRe. Left with a smokin' brunette.
    See you tonight!

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  13. Ewww...sounds like the place near the South Street Seaport that we stumbled into when I first moved here, except the place had bras (yes, bras) hanging from the ceiling everywhere. Supposedly, they were the lingerie of female patrons who, after a few beers from the ubiquitous kegs, decided to liberate their girls from their lingerie oppressors. Fratty to the max, and totally surreal atmosphere.

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  14. Hi Trurogirl. Thanks for the comment. That's Jeremy's Ale House on Front Street!

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  15. And when is Macho Man Randy Savage going to check in with an update?

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  16. At some point, just like we reached Peak Credit and will now go through a protracted deflationary period lasting at least 10-15 years, the bar scene will produce a spot so outrageously douchey, so shameless in its promotion of flat screens, stench of vomit/stale beer/chlorine, baseball caps worn backwards, mardi gras beads and flashing boobs, valley girl speak, that it will immediately trigger the Breaking of the First Seal, and mark the arrival of Peak Douchiness, after which this will all subside, the zombies will all move back to the cornfield states, and New York will be returned to the residents and the muggers.

    I will call this place Sauter le Requin des Douche Temps, and it will be LEGENDARY. When it closes, it will be at the hands of a combined arms unit of ATF, NYPD, Department of Health and PETA agents. Upon closing, it will collapse into itself under the weight of all the beer-soaked carpets and Cease-and-Desist/Health Code/Tax Evasion/Zoophilia notices draped on its front windows, creating a tiny singularity that will swallow up the LES over the next millennium.

    You will thank me for this. I'm from Astoria, and I'M HERE TO HELP.

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  17. Macho Man Randy SavageJune 27, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    Ooooh yeah. Have no fear Mean Gene. The Macho Man is here with an update. Yeah. Was a lit-tle confused by that whole Thursday the 26th thing. But I figured it out. Yeah. You can't contain the Macho Madness much less fool him with bad signage. The cream will rise to the TOP. The creme de la creme. Ma-cho MADNESS. L'Emmerdeur you know what I'm talking about. Creme. De. La. Creme. Yeah. The Macho Man was there last night and let me tell you readers. This place is wild. Wild like WrestleMania IV, I tell you. SuperDive gets the Macho Madness seal of approval. I will see you there... TONIGHT.

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  18. I have never been to Superdive, and I don't plan on it... but I think it is interesting how almost all of the comments regarding the opening of this place have such deep rooted, obvious contempt for a special group of people, referred to here as "douche bags". The sign issue (again haven't been or even seen the facade) could be an understandable argument; that it is un-appealing and in fact takes away from the aesthetics of the block, neighborhood etc, etc...but who cares about the people patronizing this bar? There are frat-boy types all over NYC, and always have been. If you go to a bar in the LES, 9 times out of 10 you will see patrons who look / dress alike, interact with eachother in similar ways, talk about issues and discuss ideas that have some shared importance to the individuals, blah blah blah... This is commonplace everywhere; so whats the point of making generalizations about the "type" of people who go to Superdive?

    It just seems childish to me, to put a particular group of people down, and one that is so loosely and defined, and remarkably forgettable. Focus your energies elsewhere.

    FYI I am a reformed douche bag / frat boy who still enjoys the comforts of khaki shorts on a hot summer day. Damn me!

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  19. this place is extremely offensive and disgusting and it breaks my heart to see it drop like an atom bomb in the former bastion of CULTURE that used to be the east village. FRAT CRAP is the absence of culture, i abhor it in every aspect, ad i abhor it most in the east village... this mentality is backwards and destructive to society.. ughhh i can't take it go to new jersey or the UES or stay in your dorm... these people are vampires sucking the life out of the east village.. slowly a white, milky, vanilla, one-note hell starks to leak throught the streets and i scream, wondering whether to run or fight from this force that floods all the diversity and realness out of our city.

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  20. Thanks, EV Grieve, for letting me know that it was Jeremy's Ale House! I just checked their website, and my visit took place when it was located in the old garage facing the Brooklyn Bridge.

    My friends and I left just after the place was invaded by a huge group of wild, drunken merchant seamen, who were literally getting off their boat after months at sea. We barely made it out of there...!

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  21. The new location on Front Street seems *a little more* subdued...same idea, though. It's a real magnet for large groups of stupid men.

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  22. I went to superdive Friday night for my friend's birthday. We had a reservation at midnight. This is absolutely the SKETCHIEST bar i have EVER been to. First of all, they put us in the basement, with no windows and no exit. fire hazard. then we paid $400 for a keg of coors light. CASH ONLY. the bar kept charging us different prices for drinks. they turned the lights on at 2:30 to kick everyone out when they told us they were closing at 4am. oh, and the bus boy stole all of our coats and purses, i chased him down and got mine back, but two friends left coatless and one without her phone. I told the bouncers and they did nothing!

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