Thursday, November 7, 2013

SFW: This East Village apartment is 'sexy,' though we don't know why



Here's is a Craigslist ad for a pretty-average looking one-bedroom apartment. The headline describes the place as "sexy." Perhaps it is, though you wouldn't know it from the description:

New renovation

Perfect location near Whole Foods Trader [sic] and all transportation

Sun drenched with windows a [sic] plenty and Skylight

Queen sized Bedroom

Ample closets with Overhead stotage [sic]

Exposed Brick



And the unit is an unsexy $2,150. Any ideas why this is sexy? Or what, in general, makes an apartment sexy, aside from maybe the residents?

H/T @SerenaSpeaks
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21 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    The fake wood, click together like Legos floors are always sexy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 8:18 AM

    Maybe it is sexy because you can put your couch right across from the stove and cozy up while your tater tots are baking? Just a guess.

    ReplyDelete
  3. EV GrieveNovember 7, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    @ anon 8:18

    Haha! Perfect! I can almost taste the crunch (of the tater tots)!

    ReplyDelete
  4. nygrumpNovember 7, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    Sexy because I can come in through the skylight while you are asleep and like an alien have my way with you, or whatever shit katy perry sings about

    ReplyDelete
  5. 9:50 amNovember 7, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    "exposed" brick. Hubba Hubba! Hey girl. Sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ken from Ken's KitchenNovember 7, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    What makes this apartment sexy? That's a good question. Perhaps some modern Masters and Johnson-type research can figure out what special something this unit has that aroused the sexual interest of the ad writer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    Cause whoever moves in is getting screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey19November 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM

    This is a bait and switch ad, no one is getting this place for that price, I would imagine this place is 2,600 or so.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    Tiny Is More Like It.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    The heat doesn't work, so you must have sex during the winter in order to remain alive.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Eden BeeNovember 7, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    IT IS CLEARLY SEXY WHY CAN'T YOU SEE IT?

    ReplyDelete
  12. HippieChickNovember 7, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    Not sexy in the slightest. Sexy EV apartment = high ceilings, tin ceilings, original crown moldings, plaster rosettes around light fixtures, tub in the kitchen, original creaky wood plank floors, marble fireplace in the living room. Not to mention rent controlled!

    ReplyDelete
  13. BagelGuyNovember 7, 2013 at 1:59 PM

    Anyone who call anything other than a good looking woman or man 'sexy' is a pretentious bozo in my book. Cars, food, apartments, sexy ? No. Deborah Harry circa 1976 ? Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    Coming Soon to a block near you -- Sexy Biscuits served in a froyo hoof.

    ReplyDelete
  15. pinheadNovember 7, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Of course I think you're sexy, apartment. This has never happened to me before. Maybe I'm just tired.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 3:16 PM

    I'd totally tap that apt.

    ReplyDelete
  17. kayemmeNovember 7, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    You know what ISN'T sexy? Someone who doesn't know how to spell and post a listing for an apartment correctly. Also the rent. Pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    Pathetic is the new sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  19. THE NOTORIOUS L.I.B.E.R.A.T.I.O.N.November 7, 2013 at 7:19 PM

    My costume next Halloween? Sexy Apartment!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Crazy EddieNovember 7, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    3-4 NYU students in a one bedroom. Sexy?

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousNovember 8, 2013 at 2:37 PM

    This apartment is too sexy for my cat.

    Wait, my cat disagrees, and what he says goes (you don't mess with this cat), so "scratch" that.

    - East Villager

    ReplyDelete

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