Green...with envy

No, you're not just extra hungover this morning. The New York Post is green today...As the cover line says, the Post "is greener with less paper and fewer ads. Enjoy." It's part of a promo for planet green, the first all green tv network that debuts tonight at 6. (Reminder to self: be sure to turn on my huge, electricity-sucking plasma-screen TV at 6 to watch!)

Uh, meanwhile, the environmentalists at the Post included in this issue a 50-plus page glitzy Home & Design ad supplement touting "Living at its Best!" The lavish supplement includes all the luxury developments that you will never be able to afford...there's Ariel...The Brompton...The Harrison...Sky House...and on Pages 28 and 29 -- something called AZURE. Hmm, haven't I read about that place recently?

Andrea Peyser does not like the Sex and the City movie (or, apparently, men in pastel shirts)

So New York Post Columnist of the Year Andrea Peyser caught the first screening of Sex and the City yesterday. What did she think?

In a roomful of women who looked as if they hadn't digested in months - and scant few breathing men - I saw the big-screen version of "Sex and the City," an excruciating paean to Manhattan, Manolos and menopause that should have been sponsored by Depends.

When did the story of four aging broads - and these women are about as far from being "The Girls" as Phyllis Diller is from puberty - turn into a horror show?

Time and the tyranny of the camera close-up have not been kind to Sarah Jessica Parker, who at 43 looks positively ghoulish as the still-single Carrie Bradshaw.

Her litany of lifestyle impossibilities continues to mount like her facial blemishes - a rent-controlled apartment, dozens of $525 pairs of stilettos, and a noncommittal, mega-rich boyfriend, Mr. Big. Sadly, the only thing large about Chris Noth these days is his protruding gut.

Ouch.

I spied a gaggle of gals who looked as if they'd eaten recently. I asked, Did you like it?

"Loved it!"

You can't be from New York, can you? "No, Connecticut," she said.

"Better than Indiana Jones!" trilled only the second man I saw. But this guy wore a pastel shirt. Figures.

I predict huge success in the multiplex. New Yorkers know better.

"Sex" sucks.

Hmm.

Well, it's really easy to make fun of a movie like this; it's even easier to make fun of the people who may enjoy this movie. Oh. And not to mention the looks of the actors in the movie. (Chris Noth fat? SJP ghoulish? C'mon.)

I wish Andrea would have written about the real problem with the movie -- how it ruined New York City. It's a subject worth repeating. Maybe she took a different route because the Post covered this a few weeks back. But is saying that Chris Noth has a beer gut do much to bring attention to the rampant commercialization, sterilization and development that the movie helped spawn here?

I invite anyone who may be new to this subject to read the following articles at Jeremiah's Vanishing New York:

How the cupcake crumbled

A plea to SJP

How SATC killed NYC

Related today:
Fashion review: 10 Years Later, Carrie Coordinated (New York Times)

"Bad" news for drummer and his West 11th Street home

From today's Post!

By LARRY CELONA and ADAM NICHOLS May 29, 2008 -- Thieves took more than $350,000 worth of jewelry in a Memorial Day raid on the Greenwich Village home of Bad Company drummer Simon Kirke, cops said.
The musician found the jewels missing from a safe when he returned home from a weekend out of town with his family. Two laptop computers worth $3,000 were also missing, cops said.Cops found the front and back doors of the West 11th Street apartment Kirke shares with his wife and four children unlocked with no signs of being forced, a police source said.
Kirke told them he couldn't remember whether he'd locked them.The Englishman was also unsure whether he had locked the safe inside the house before the family left, the source said.
Kirke was a founding member of the band Free, whose hit "All Right Now" reached No. 1in more than 20 countries.He set up Bad Company after Free broke up in 1973.That band sold 60 million records, including "Rock and Roll Fantasy" and "Feel Like Makin' Love."Since leaving Bad Company in 2002, he has been songwriting and occasionally performing. He made a how-to-play-drums DVD in 2006 titled "Lessons from a Legend."

And why did this take two Post reporters to cover? One to talk to cops, one to search Wikipedia?

Bonus!



Double bonus!

With that extra $$$, you can buy two ounces of popcorn

Still, at least someone came to their senses for once. (And what's a movie ticket going for these days? Think I paid $11.75 to see the art-house sensation, Iron Man.)

Anyway, as the Post reports:

A movie-theater chain that stopped offering reduced-price tickets for kids and seniors at a Manhattan cinema did an about-face yesterday - and said it will restore them.

Clearview Cinemas, which last week quit offering discount tickets for children and seniors at its theater on First Avenue and 62nd Street, said it will restore the discounts.

Clearview Cinemas, which operates 52 movie theaters in the New York metro area, didn't explain its change of heart.

"Clearview did experiment with certain discount eliminations at a few select theatres," spokeswoman Kim Kerns said in a statement.

"Upon initial review, we have determined that we will return to our previous discounts at these theaters.

"We note that at the vast majority of Clearview theaters, the discounts remained in place and were never changed."

I suspect that the Post created this flap on their own just so they could run this headline:

'NO-KIDDIE' FLIX-TIX NIX

Here's the article from yesterday reporting on the increase.

Excerpt:

"I feel like everywhere I go, I'm getting nickeled-and-dimed these days," said Jack Miller, 40, who took his 7-year-old son, Benjamin, to see "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" at the Clearview yesterday afternoon, only to find that a children's ticket had shot up $2.50.

New York Post attempts to relate to the economic struggles of the common family man trying to make a living in New York City

The Post has a piece today that so many of us can relate to here in the city: Everything is just getting so expensive.

YIKES! HIKES HIT $1,000+ A MONTH
BLAME FOOD AS MANHATTAN FAMILY'S BILLS SURGE
By JEREMY OLSHAN

The cost of living for a typical Manhattan family has shot up in the past year - just ask Gary Foodim.

Foodim, 37, his wife and two kids saw their expenses increase well over $1,000 in April compared to the same month last year.

Of course, this story runs on the same day that the paper ups its price from 25 to 50 cents. Thanks, Rupert!

LES home of the week

From this week's real estate section in the New York Post. One of the "dream" homes of the week (descriptions are written by Victor Wishna):

$3.475 MILLION

A century ago, you might have found two or three families squeezed into one tenement apartment along this stretch of Norfolk Street. Today, you'll find the 16-story Blue, a sparkling new condo of "pixelated" blue glass, and at its top, this roomy 2,494-square-foot penthouse duplex. It features two bedroom suites, three full bathrooms, a designer kitchen, a large private terrace and "stunning" city, river and bridge views through 40 windows. My how times (and prices) have changed.

Meanwhile, go here to feel a little more Blue.

The New York Post doesn't take kindly to cussers

Today's front page, from the arbiters of good taste.



So you just watch your mouth, OK? No more swearing people!

Graffiti and groceries

According to today's New York Post:

Graffiti arrests and complaints are skyrocketing as so called "taggers" treat city walls as their personal canvases, new police statistics reveal.

The NYPD recorded and unprecedented 81.5 percent surge in graffiti-related complaints from 2006 to 2007.

Unrelated, but in the Post:

NYU officials and an East Village grocer are working to settle a bitter rent dispute that's threatening the existence of one of the last affordable food stores in the neighborhood.

Negotiations between NYU and the Met Foodmarket - which occupies the ground floor of a university-owned building at 107 Second Ave. - came to an abrupt end earlier this month when the store was offered a three-year lease at triple the current rent, said owner Michael Schumacher.

City Councilwoman Rosie Menendez is mediating the dispute and yesterday, at a meeting in her First Avenue office, the two sides edged toward an agreement, Schumacher said.

"We had a very constructive meeting. Based on our conversation, they seem to want to sustain local businesses. I'm hopeful," he said.

Alicia Hurley, the NYU vice president for government and community affairs, said, "We're hopeful, as well. It is certainly our intention to keep him in the space."

[Image -- Sara Krulwich/The New York Times]

Updated: con·de·scend·ing [kon-duh-sen-ding]

From the highlights-of-the-week in the Pulse section of today's New York Post:

Yes, CBGB is now a high-end clothing store -- boohoo, it's unfair, etc., etc. -- but the spirit of Bowery rock lives on at the Morrison Hotel gallery, which now occupies the former CB's Gallery space connected to the legendary concert venue. Thursday, the gallery opens its new exhibit "Rockers," which features 280 pieces from iconic photographer Bob Gruen's collection including up-close-and-personal snapshots of John Lennon, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin and the punk bands who once rocked the room next door, including Sid Vicious. Opening night runs from 7 to 10 and entry is free.

Suggested rewrite:

The spirit of CBGB lives on at the Morrison Hotel gallery, which now occupies the former CB's Gallery space connected to the legendary concert venue.

Update: Check out the comments...Alex from NYC makes a good point on this item. Sid Vicious never played CBGB...

EV Etc.: Page Six on the John Varvatos protest

With bold-faced names! That guy from the Garfield movies was there!

The revelers inside, who included Gina Gershon, Damien Fahey, Bobby Cannavale, Breckin Meyer and Jakob Dylan, ignored the demonstration, which continued for the duration of the party. The bash ended up raising $30,000 for Save the Music.

The whole piece is here.

Perhaps some credit Page Sixers for those who covered it...?

Breaking: New York Post finds that bars in the East Village and LES can be kind of loud

It has been a whirlwind few days of investigative reporting for the New York Post. Sunday, in an EXCLUSIVE, the paper told of a "shady Atlanta businesswoman armed with a gallon jug of silicone and syringes . . . offering to inject women seeking 'J.Lo butts.' " Yesterday, they turned to another blight of our city: Noise pollution, in particular the racket made by the many bars and clubs in the East Village and Lower East Side. (How much better would our city be without noisy bars and women with J. Lo butts?)

The paper reported, "between July 1, 2007, and Jan. 31, 2008, Community Board 3 -- which covers the two youth-dominated neighborhoods, as well as Chinatown -- recorded 1,872 complaints about the pounding din coming from nightspots. That represented 26 percent of the 7,157 complaints for bars, clubs and restaurants in Manhattan."

"Pounding din?" Nice.

Well, this isn't really any surprise for people who have lived here for more than, say, a week. Yes, it must really suck to live above a bar or club (or even near one), especially since the smoking ban forced people to congregate outside. And since so many seemingly hideous night spots opened. (Won't get into any names here. Let's just say there are a few on Avenue B around 4th Street that attract a heinous mix of jackals. Do you see me throwing up or peeing in the parking lots of your malls in Paramus?)

Oh. Well, back to the Post article. The article was accompanied by a photo of Manitoba's on Avenue B, a bar that I happen to really like (earlier in the evenings, anyway -- I just don't like crowds of any sort). The caption reads: "The sidewalk outside Manitoba's bar, in the East Village, exceeded the danger level of 80 decibels, on a recent night of rowdiness." As you can see from the above photo, there are roughly six people in the bar at the moment (usually when I'm there). Obviously the photo was taken at a different time. (There are even two different photo credits.) Manitoba's isn't even mentioned in the article. What annoys me is that there are dozens of places in the neighborhood worthy of being singled out.

Curious what Handsome Dick Manitoba's reaction was when he saw the piece. The bar does have a history of noise problems, particularly back when they were doing live music on Monday nights. (Blame one prudish couple who bought a place above the bar for this -- not that I'm taking sides!) Still, Manitoba's stopped the music nights. Manitoba seems like a real decent guy and good neighbor. He lives around the corner. I like what he does with the bar.

Finally, on a related note, I do sympathize with folks who are stuck near or above noisy spots -- at least the places in which the residents were there first, and a bar/club opened later. Not quite as sympathetic to people who chose to live above a bar. For instance! A former college roommate moved to New York years back, settling in a nice apartment above the Grassroots Tavern, another bar I like very much, on St. Mark's. She didn't last there too long. Why? "It's too loud." What did she expect? "I didn't think it would be this bad."