Some post-holiday cheer from the U.S. Army War College

Post business columnist John Crudele had this item the other day:

ARE you afraid that the economic downturn could get out of hand? I mean, really out of hand?
Well, don't worry.
The US Army War College is on the case -- ready to handle "unforeseen economic collapse" and the "rapid dissolution of public order in all or significant parts of the US."
And you thought we were just dealing with a recession!
In a report published Nov. 4 -- just in time for the holiday season -- the War College's Strategic Studies Institute posited a number of shocks that the country should be prepared for, including unrest caused by the economy's failure.
The report has a snappy title, "Known Unknowns: Unconventional 'Strategic Shocks' in Defense Strategy Development," and was written by Nathan Freier, a visiting professor at the college. The foreword was written by Col. John A. Kardos, director of the Peacekeeping and Stability Operations Institute.
Freier lists a number of possible things we should worry about - because we probably don't have enough of our own -- including run-of-the-mill terrorism and the fact that China and Russia could align against us politically and economically.
"Some of the most plausible defense-relevant strategic shocks remain low-probability events," Freier soft-pedals before going on to scare the hell out of us.
The War College says "widespread civil violence inside the US would force the defense establishment to reorient priorities in extremis to defend basic domestic order and human security."
Among things Freier wants us to worry about are "deliberate employment of weapons of mass destruction. . . unforeseen economic collapse, loss of functioning political and legal order, purposeful domestic resistance or insurgency and catastrophic natural and human disasters."

Happy New Year!

An incentive to walk

With subway and bus fares going up to like $25 a ride next year, the Post asked some advertising execs for ideas to raise revenue for the city's mass transit system.

Among their 10 ideas:

Free sample with your bag check? Marketers could pay the MTA and NYPD to slip product samples in your bag at any number of security checkpoints. The freebies might even take the sting out of the inconvenient search.

Rat-vertising: There is a veritable army of vermin "brand ambassadors" running through the subway tunnels. Put them to work for your brand!

Vanity metro cards: The best way to express yourself on the subway short of using a can of spray paint. Similar to custom postage stamps, you pay extra to pick out and order your custom card online.

"An irresponsible vanity buy"

Phil Mushnick in the Post today:

Two years ago, when the country's financial health was superficially strong, the Mets-Citigroup naming rights deal -- a record-cracking $20 million for 20 years to call the new ballpark Citi Field -- wasn't just gaudy, it was downright obscene.

Now, with Citi laying off thousands while reaching for billions in government bailout money, and with Citi's clients having taken a brutal beating, the declaration by the two parties that the ballpark naming deal will proceed as agreed upon is nauseating.

Two years ago, the $400 million deal to call the Mets' new stadium Citi Field was nothing better than an irresponsible vanity buy, one rooted less in advertising than in mad money beyond Madison Ave.

Today, that the deal will be sustained is no different than a welfare mother spending her family's subsistence money on booze, bracelets and the down payment on a brand new BMW.

Clown rings opening bell yesterday; Post suitably outraged

The Post even devoted an editorial to the subject.

Today's Post fails to instill confidence in the economy

The Dow's Damage: 13 percent in Five Days (WSJ)

The Post likes the LES on Sunday afternoons, though, wisely, not Saturday nights

The Post checks in on the LES:

On a Saturday night, the Lower East Side might as well be Meatpacking District Lite. Overpriced drinks? Check. Annoying restaurants? Check. And don't even get us started on the people.
Lower East Side Sunday afternoons are a different thing altogether. Because while the neighborhood is host to one of the more obnoxious night-life scenes, there's also another scene that's cropped up, and it's a cool one.
The 'hood has one of the most vibrant art scenes in town: 35 galleries, lots of them run by young, hot dealers. It also boasts a brand-new museum called, fittingly, the New Museum.

This was the caption to the photo (not the one that I'm using) that accompanied the article:

No red velvet ropes here! On a Sunday afternoon, art enthusiasts can chow down on doughnuts and stroll around the nabe without glimpsing any B&T barflies (They took the train home to Syosset last night).

A look at East Village real estate

From this week's real-estate section in the Post:

EAST VILLAGE $430,000

311 E. Third St.

Prewar one-bedroom, one-bath co-op, 500 square feet, with dining room, windowed chef's kitchen with stainless-steel appliances and butcher block, French doors, exposed brick, high ceilings and N/S exposures. Maintenance $284, 12 percent tax-deductible. Asking price $425,000, on market one day. Broker: Anthony Cangemi, Citi Habitats

Sounds nice...on market for one day?

"Freaks" and cheeks

Sorry, a little off topic here, but I wanted to make mention of this....On Monday, cops raided an S&M parlor in Tribeca and arrested two people, including the club's alleged proprietor, Collin Reeve, 35, of Staten Island. They two were charged with promoting prostitution. Whatever! Let's find out more about Reeve. As the Post helpfully notes in its case to assassinate the man's character:

Marie Santiago, who used to be the superintendent of a Staten Island building where Reeve lived for several years, called him a "freak."

"When they left, we found out they were total freaks. We found videos of him and people playing with people dressed up as dinosaurs," she said.

"When they had a party, the people who came were weirdos. They wore all leather. They would wear spikes around their necks, too."

New York Post helps New York men try to be better New York men

The Post has a handy-dandy listicle today titled "25 Skills That Make A NYC Man."

Among the 25 skills that New York men "need to have":

2) Not get ripped off by a cabbie: Always have singles. It's amazing how many taxi drivers have only 10-dollar-bills for change when you have only a 20 for your $8 fare. And the answer to "Where ya' from?" is always "Born and raised in New York."

5) Get into a nightclub with your boys: Go in two at a time holding hands. Seriously, this works. The bouncer will assume you're no threat to the girls they just let in to hit on big spending VIPs. And since no homophobe would resort to this trick just to get in, you're probably not a big macho who'll cause trouble, either.

8) Know what not to order in a bar: Don't get cute. A vodka-cranberry takes two minutes to serve. Your Cape Cod-a-colada could be a while. Plus, it's girly.

9) Not get ripped off in a strip club: "A dance" means one song and costs $20. If the stripper keeps going when song two starts, that meter's running. And FYI, they tell every guy he has pretty eyes. Sorry.

10) Know which clubs and restaurants are played out: If your buddy suggested you take your hot new date to Boucarou, he's trying to get her to leave you. Don't trust blog comments - they're often left by publicists and venue owners of a business or its competition.

17) Not get punched by a crackhead: You don't have to respect them, but act like you do. "I don't have a dollar, but I'll catch you on the way back, buddy." He'll forget. He's a crackhead.

22) Make money: Everything here is absurdly expensive and starving artists starve alone. Unless Albert Hammond is in your band, music is your hobby and you need a day job

23) Know your Olsens from your Hiltons: It's mind-numbing, but it's going to come up. Olsens are elfin creatures who dwell downtown, feed on leaves and often look homeless. Hiltons are longer, taller, louder, shinier and much harder to ignore. You'd rather hook-up with an Olsen, you'd actually rather bag a Hilton.

Ready for the day now, men?

The Post has high opinions of LES housing

From today's paper:

Low ceilings. Columns in the living room. Drainage grates outside the windows.

What sounds like a Lower East Side tenement is actually a $53.5 million pair of Plaza penthouses bought by Russian hedge-fund manager Andrei Vavilov, who says the developer promised him the epitome of luxury and then handed over an "attic-like space."

Table Hopping with the International Bar

The Table Hopping feature in the Sunday New York Post put the spotlight on the International Bar, the old haunt on First Avenue between Seventh Street and St. Mark's that was brought back to life this past June. Good choice by the Post. Jeremiah profiled proprietors Shawn and Molly back in June. Oh, and the Table Hopping feature doesn't appear to be online. So here it is:

NYPD Daily Blotter item on Friday night's arrests

Here's a description of the arrests Friday night following the Donut Social. From the NYPD Daily Blotter in the Post today:

Five protesters were arrested Friday after clashing with police in the East Village following a rally against police brutality and gentrification.

Cops said the rally, on East Fifth Street near First Avenue down the block from the 9th Precinct station house, had ended peacefully at 8 p.m. when anger flared.

One man was busted for throwing objects at police.

The arrest sparked more violence from the crowd and led to the arrest of a man who allegedly threw a chair at cops.

Two protesters were arrested for damaging patrol cars, including an 18-year-old man.

A fifth person, an 18-year-old woman described by police as homeless, was arrested when she tried to interfere with police, laying down in the street and refusing to move, cops said.

Previously on EV Grieve:
Friday night in Tompkins Square Park: Unity and a sitdown (and several arrests)
At the Donut Social
Coverage at Neither More Nor Less

An unfortunate typo in the Post

Allow me to veer off topic for a moment. From the online version of the Post today:



Bristol Pain?

Wikipedia's whoppers

In the Post today, Steve Cuozzo takes a look at Wikipedia's New York City entry. Let's just say it's not very accurate. Cuozzo writes:

[W]hen it comes to the city's geography and streetscape, Wikipedia can be wildly out of date - like its notoriously wrong-headed story on Hunts Point, which (to the neighborhood's dismay) cites 20-year old crime data.

Other entries read like dumb bus-tour guides' off-base spiels. One states that the East Village "is considered part of the Lower East Side" - by morons, maybe, but not by anyone who has ever crossed Houston Street. Nor was the East Village "formerly known as the Bowery."

When will it be time for Pussy Galore in the headline?

As I've mentioned, I only follow the Sean Connery/neighbor-on-71st-Street fued to see how the Post can work in a James Bond reference. So today!:

SON OF 007 FOILS NEMESIS 'DR. NO'
By DAREH GREGORIAN
August 7, 2008

Previously in the Post:

007 IN A FIX OVER TOWNHOUSE
By DAREH GREGORIAN

July 30, 2008
Sean Connery's downstairs neighbors are proving to be a bigger headache for the former James Bond than Dr. No, Blofeld and Goldfinger combined.


'HOUSE ARREST' AT THE CONNERYS'
By MELISSA JANE KRONFELD and CHUCK BENNETT
July 26, 2008
Sean Connery's family nemesis - his neighbor "Dr. No" - was at it again yesterday.

JUDGE POINTS 'SCOLD' FINGER
CONNERY & FOE SPANKED
By DAREH GREGORIAN
MOLD FINGER:Dr. Burton Sultan (left) accuses Sean Connery of causing water leaks and other mayhem at their East Side condo.
December 27, 2007
A Manhattan judge has had enough of a court feud between Sir Sean Connery and his neighbor, and is urging the James Bond star and his arch-enemy Dr. Sultan to make peace.

EV Grieve Etc. -- the economy is doomed edition

From an op-ed by in today's Post by Nicole Gelinas, a Manhattan Institute fellow:

Our elected leaders have been making long-term spending commitments as if Wall Street would never slow for more than a year or two. But the industry now faces its worst crisis in decades. The city and state must drastically change their approach -- or this crisis could turn into a longterm disaster.

Also: Gov. Paterson will deliver a grim economic address at 5:10 p.m. today in the state Capitol. The speech will be broadcast live on NY1.

Will need to buy the right outfit for this!

The Gov. has grim news: get ready for the worst economy in decades

According to today's Post anyway:

Gov. Paterson, convinced the state faces its worst fiscal crisis since the mid-1970s, will deliver the grim news in an unprecedented special address to New Yorkers as soon as tomorrow night, The Post has learned.
The governor's address - which his aides hope will be televised by public and cable news stations - will say that plunging state revenues will force painful cuts in state services, necessitate a reduction in the state work force, possibly through layoffs, and require other difficult economic measures, source said.

The city's kitty is also doomed as doomed can be. 

Which makes this tie-in so perfect! Let's go out and buy expensive Depression-era clothes!



The duds say it all - and it's depressing.
Taking a cue from the grim economy, this fall's fashions at Banana Republic, Gap and H&M are featuring a distinctly Depression-era trend of cloche hats, pencil skirts, conductor caps and baggy, vintage-style dresses.
One of the most popular styles appears to hark back to the impish, newsboy getup of the 1930s: baggy trousers, caps, pinstriped vests, oxford lace-up shoes and utilitarian handbags.
"We associate the newsboy look with urban poverty - street kids of the 1930s," said Daniel James Cole, a professor at the Fashion Institute of Technology.
"Given that we're in an unstable economy and an uncertain political landscape, it's possible that a retro style has come back as a way to connect with our heritage."

Now. Let's seize the day!

Inside Aubrey O'Day's apartment (for some reason)

I love when the New York Post takes us inside the homes of really famous celebrities!

In the paper's real-estate section on Thursday, we were treated to an inside look at the one-bedroom Midtown apartment of 24-year-old Aubrey O'Day. You know, she's in the pop band Danity Kane! (Yeah, me neither.) She's also starring now in Hairspray on Broadway!

But her apartment!

She chose an apartment not too far from the theater and right in the middle of just about everything else.
"I love this building," she says, in a soft voice that's a cross between Marilyn Monroe's and a Valley Girl's. "And I love being in Midtown. There are great sushi restaurants in the neighborhood, and I'm right across from Pinkberry."

The one-bedroom, one-bath apartment with a kitchen area measures 725 square feet, according to the building's management, but it looks smaller. If she feels cramped, O'Day isn't complaining.

"There are big closets," she says, "and I have tons of clothes. And there are lots of drawers and cabinets to put things in."
To offset the earth tones of the contemporary furnishings, O'Day brought in pink and orange pillows for "a bit of warm personality and excitement," she says. "I also brought in lots of flowers and candles and photos; there are tons of them all over my apartment. They're all of me and my friends and the different things my girl group has done. Some of them are magazine covers.

"My apartment smells really good," she adds. "I have tons of smelly stuff like perfumed sprays and scented candles. I love vanilla candles and lilac."

She also filled up one wall with photos of Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn.

"They're real celebrities," O'Day says. "That's my favorite wall in the house. My favorite place in the house is my bed." But she's happiest, she says, when her dog, Ginger (a Teacup Maltese), is curled up on her doggie bed.

Another of O'Day's additions to the apartment is a big floor-length mirror where she puts on her makeup. "I'm definitely a makeup girl," she admits.

Aubrey O'Day's Favorite Things
* Her puppy, Ginger
* The flowers
* The wall of photos of Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn
* Her personal photos
* Her bed

Noted: Divorces and legends

Headline in today's Post:

ANGUISH OF 'STOCK' SPLITS
DIVORCES SURGE AS WALL ST. WOES HIT COUPLES' SHOPPING SPREES & HAMPTON GETAWAYS

Completely unrelated, but from the Post today:

BON JOVI-AL NIGHT
LEGENDARY ROCKERS ON A ROLL IN CENTRAL PK

Bon Jovi? Legendary? Since when?

Because "overrun by people who are considered to be sexually promiscuous, junkies and pushers" just didn't have the same ring to it

The Post has this report today:

Drug dens, homeless shantytowns and prostitution are rampant in New York City's parks, a Post investigation found.
Comparing the manicured lawns of Manhattan's Central Park to the barren, rat-infested eyesore of Spring Creek Park in Brooklyn, the disparity is shocking.
While the Bloomberg administration boasts that parks are in better shape than they've been in four decades, an investigation of 70 parks over the last nine months found:
* Clusters of homeless living in tents and small shantytowns in 10 parks, including Riverside Park near 148th Street in Manhattan.
* Hookers brazenly plying their 24-hour trade, including at Printers Park on Hoe Street [EV Grieve note: !] in The Bronx.
* Areas where junkies shoot up and crack dealers set up shop, including at Fort George Playground in Washington Heights.
* An illegal chop shop where stolen vehicles, including a stripped US Defense Dept. sedan, are harvested is thriving in Fresh Creek Nature Preserve in Brooklyn.
* And many barren parks covered in weeds up to 12 feet high that are used as illegal dumps for items like abandoned boats and cars, construction debris, containers of hazardous material, opened steel safes, Vegas-style slot machines - and even a discarded tombstone in Dreier-Offerman Park in Brooklyn.

Interesting, but:




Um, hos?