Cindy Adams has the lowdown on the toilets (and other things) at the new Yankee Stadium

It's difficult to say which is more wretchedly excessive...

The column today by Cindy Adams in which she secretly tours the new Yankee Stadium....

Or!

The new stadium's amenities...

It's up to you, brave soul, to decide.

Architectural Digest bedrooms aren't as classy as the players' locker room. Stainless steel rods just to hang their socks. Individual wooden closets. And let it be known my behind sat in Derek Jeter's space even before his.

Their can is blue granite. Four urinals, five commodes, enough shower space for 16 naked Yankees with their bats and balls.

Alongside's a hydrotherapy blue- and white-tiled area with whirlpools and a Swimex thing wherein the current moves but you don't and it's as if you've swum 15 laps. Plus a trainers room for massages, rubdowns, X-rays, specialists, first aid and God knows. Plus a doctor's office. Signs signifying each room are in Yankee pinstripes. Plus, to duck the dreaded press, a hidden super-private dressing room with giant wall mirror and 12 luxury closets. Plus a wall-to-wall mirrored gym (no equipment in it yet) so elegant it looks like a dance studio. Thoughts of Hideki Matsui at a ballet barre ran through my head.

The players' 30,000 square feet just for themselves includes a dining suite. Two rooms. One with the handmade Yankee logo rug has couches for lounging, sipping, noshing and TVing. The other, with chafing dishes plus wherewithal to prep individual menus, is a catering hall. I mean, talk of catering!

And!

Now, for the fans. Honoring The Bronx's Grand Concourse grandeur, a giant, wide, 31,000-square-foot Great Hall. Said Valerie Peltier, managing director of the project and daughter of developer Tishman-Speyer's Jerry Speyer: "It's where you'll meet and greet, buy your programs and peanuts and goodies." Wheelchair accessible, there are 1,300 doors, 10 ticket kiosks, 16 elevators, 30 stairways, escalators, ramps, concession stands, 1,100 flat high-def TVs everywhere, including in the ladies' gorgeous johns. I tell you the truth - it was a real pleasure to go.

By the way, according to Cindy, the dugouts are heated and air conditioned. Not at the same time, though. (Sorry...too much Cindy.)

[Image via NYY Stadium Insider]