Photos and text by Stacie Joy
I'm not much for imparting personal information here on EV Grieve, but occasionally, something happens that I'm comfortable with — or feel compelled to try — sharing.
A local family, the Meltzers, have been quietly supporting the community for years through words and deeds, and I am grateful to have them as friends.
Hilary, whom I met through yoga, a lawyer working for the City of New York, her husband
Harold, a world-renowned composer, and their two children, Julia and Elijah. All are community-oriented, quietly donating to help our newest neighbors, those in need, and those who are hungry or in need of comfort.
For the past six years, Harold has been fighting a progressive disease that has resulted in a series of strokes and the increasing loss of mobility, all the while keeping up his good humor (or bad dad jokes, as Elijah and Julia might say).
Sadly, this week, the disease got the better of him. Hilary messaged me over the weekend that sepsis had set in, and the doctors didn't think he'd survive the night — and they were right.
He died on Monday morning, Aug. 12. He was 58.
I'm grateful to have known him, to have heard his truly awful jokes, to enjoy his complicated music, and to have discussed literature and travel with him. Before my first trip to Rome, he carefully prepared a list of must-see places for me and had plenty of time to discuss gelato and the best basilicas with me.
At the packed funeral (a testament to how loved he was), Hilary spoke movingly about the difference between suffering and misery, between victim and victimhood. I often wonder if I'd have the grace he had as the disease robbed him of his ability to walk and use his extremities, if I would have the good humor to smile and roll out in an electric wheelchair for a midday cappuccino.
I know there are more formal obituaries for him, like at
The New York Times. However, I'd like to say that I'm grateful to have met Harold and will miss him now that he's gone.