"How to not be a douchebag tourist in NYC"

That's the headline to a post on joshinthecity, a blog by a 36-year-old Sydney, Australia, resident. He starts: "I didn’t write this, but do the right thing, read up. As someone who has spent quite a bit of time there over the years, trust me.. ALL of this rings true."

Among the advice for tourists that he's passing along:

Dress: First, don’t f**king wear Crocs, don’t let anyone you’re with wear Crocs and don’t tell anybody you own a pair back home. They’re uglier than pretty much anything else in the city, and that’s saying something. New Yorkers don’t wear shorts and only chicks wear sandals, so stick with long pants, jeans, and dark color shirts–light colored button-downs are ok–dress shoes or Nike Dunks. Avoid Hawaiian shirts and NASCAR apparel like your life depends on it. Pastels suck, and fanny packs and passport lanyards scream “douche” from a block away.

Don’t stand in groups at street corners, subway entrances or in front of doors. Basically, just make sure you’re not in anybody’s way, ever, and you’ll be good to go.

Oh, and don’t ask us to pick you up or take you to the airport. We have plenty of cabs, trains and buses to do that for us, and we don’t want to, anyway.

Update: It was written by Andrew at Hunter College in a post that appeared last Thursday.

EV Grieve Etc. -- the economy is doomed edition

From an op-ed by in today's Post by Nicole Gelinas, a Manhattan Institute fellow:

Our elected leaders have been making long-term spending commitments as if Wall Street would never slow for more than a year or two. But the industry now faces its worst crisis in decades. The city and state must drastically change their approach -- or this crisis could turn into a longterm disaster.

Also: Gov. Paterson will deliver a grim economic address at 5:10 p.m. today in the state Capitol. The speech will be broadcast live on NY1.

Will need to buy the right outfit for this!

Signs that the economy is really bad

The ATMs don't work anymore.


People throw away their luggage because they can't afford to travel.

People can't afford to fix their nice cars.

Park Avenue residents subjected to white bread.

Revisiting the decline of New York City

As you can see, the Sept. 17, 1990, issue of Time had this cover story, The Rotting of the Big Apple.

Excerpt:

Skyrocketing real estate prices (a one-room apartment that rents for $800 a month is considered a bargain) have driven middle-class families out of Manhattan and are threatening the creative enterprises that make the island a cultural oasis. Twenty years ago, about 50 or 60 new productions opened on Broadway each year. Today soaring costs have driven the price of an orchestra seat to $60, and a healthy season yields no more than 35 new shows, only 12 of which are deemed successes. In dance alone, New York lost 55 world-class studios in the past four years. Others, including Martha Graham Dance, are considering following the example of the Joffrey Ballet by establishing second and third homes in other cities. That means a shorter season in New York. "This is the most expensive, difficult and competitive city for arts organizations," says David Resnicow, president of the Arts and Communications Counselors, which arranges sponsorships for corporations and cultural institutions. "You don't have to be in New York to make it. "

Full article here.

Hooters and Red Mango

This thought crossed my mind when I saw the Red Mango sign in the window of the former CBGB T-shirt shop the other day: What if someone is just fucking with us?

Remember when jokesters put the Hooters sign in the window of the recently shuttered Second Avenue Deli back in February 2006? Lordy, had I been doing this site at the time, there would have been around-the-clock-developing-breaking-exclusive coverage of the sign.

Well, maybe not. Anyway, Urban Prankster recently revisited the Hooters hoax.

As for Red Mango on St. Mark's, I'm afraid we really are in for more frozen yogurt.

If you're thinking about driving on: Beekman Street

Uh. Good luck. And you may want to throw it in four-wheel drive. (Also, I've always liked the sign for the Beekman, hidden there a bit on the right.)

The Dark Knight is gone

At least from Houston and the Bowery.

EV Grieve Etc.

With less than 18 months left in Mayor Bloomberg's final term, the city's Landmarks Preservation Commission is in a race against the clock to approve historic designations for more than 1,000 buildings. (NY Post)

The Gov. has grim news: get ready for the worst economy in decades

According to today's Post anyway:

Gov. Paterson, convinced the state faces its worst fiscal crisis since the mid-1970s, will deliver the grim news in an unprecedented special address to New Yorkers as soon as tomorrow night, The Post has learned.
The governor's address - which his aides hope will be televised by public and cable news stations - will say that plunging state revenues will force painful cuts in state services, necessitate a reduction in the state work force, possibly through layoffs, and require other difficult economic measures, source said.

The city's kitty is also doomed as doomed can be. 

Which makes this tie-in so perfect! Let's go out and buy expensive Depression-era clothes!



The duds say it all - and it's depressing.
Taking a cue from the grim economy, this fall's fashions at Banana Republic, Gap and H&M are featuring a distinctly Depression-era trend of cloche hats, pencil skirts, conductor caps and baggy, vintage-style dresses.
One of the most popular styles appears to hark back to the impish, newsboy getup of the 1930s: baggy trousers, caps, pinstriped vests, oxford lace-up shoes and utilitarian handbags.
"We associate the newsboy look with urban poverty - street kids of the 1930s," said Daniel James Cole, a professor at the Fashion Institute of Technology.
"Given that we're in an unstable economy and an uncertain political landscape, it's possible that a retro style has come back as a way to connect with our heritage."

Now. Let's seize the day!

And now for something new and different on St. Mark's

Alternate headline: You've got to be fucking kidding me.
At the site of the old CBGB shop. (Surprised someone isn't calling this yogurt place Punk Berry.) I even made a joke on March 29 that this location would become a yogurt shop. So I guess this is my fault.

Previously on EV Grieve:
Tourists will have to go online to buy their CBGB T-shirts

Important decisions of our time

What's new on Avenue C?

Bao 111 at 111 Avenue C closed up shop at the end of February because of escalating rents...(Get this: the owner planned to move to the west side because it was less expensive.)

Anyway, the new owners are renovating the space, with hopes of opening by the end of the summer. They were very cordial, and told me it will be a restaurant featuring French-Carribbean fare.

Meanwhile, as the sign reads, Barnyard is open (last Tuesday was its first day, in fact), a high-end cheese and meat shop at 149 Avenue C just north of Ninth Street.

Free punk show in Tompkins Square Park Sunday

More fun to come next Saturday and Sunday.

Suzannah B. Troy has much more on the show. Bob Arihood has many excellent photos here.