Grieve TV, 9:27 p.m., Feb. 28

Why do the French hate us?

On Tuesday, we saw the first rendering of the new boutique hotel being built on the Bowery by the Paris-based Louzon Group ...

Oh, sure... we had some fun with the design... but the joke's on us. Late yesterday afternoon, the Observer (via Curbed) unleashed the NEW rendering... This is not a joke.

Per the Observer:

As you can see in these new renderings provided by the building's architect, Gene Kaufman, it has light up balconies that will shimmer at night, bringing a bit of that dance-club flare back to the cleaned up thoroughfare.

And some Curbed commentary:

"It also has what appears to be a Jumbotron. The Bowery goes Times Square! So when can we expect the M&M's store?"

Previously on EV Grieve:
Reactions to new Bowery hotel: 'It would be cheaper and more useful just to blow up the building and leave a 30-foot crater'

Reactions to new Bowery hotel: 'It would be cheaper and more useful just to blow up the building and leave a 30-foot crater'

Yesterday, thanks to Curbed, we all got a look at the new boutique hotel coming to Third Street and the Bowery:

Oops, crap. Wrong image. Sorry! Here it is!

Sorry! Blogger is giving me problems today!

This likely isn't surprising, but no one seems to like the design... or the thought of another hotel along here...

Here's a sampling of Curbed comments:

And people thought the Bowery was bad in the "old days"? I'd take the Salvation Army building over this any day.

Pretty much everything new going up on the Bowery now says "crap-tastic" + "major ego at work". This new building looks like the winner of a contest where crazed architects are asked to design their weirdest fantasy buildings.

Eventually the Bowery will have a NEW reputation, as the place tourists can go to see the absolutely *ugliest* collection of buildings in NYC.

And!

Odd to think that the Bowery was actually better and had a peculiar, if worn and gritty, charm before qualified "designers" took it upon themselves to show the uneducated masses how things might be. As it stands, they should rename it the Rue de Pretension.

Gothamist ran a post with a headline, "The Bowery's Next Hotel Is Looking Pretty Ugly." Per commenter Newhce: "Holy crap. What is this, 'New Brutalism'"?

Runnin' Scared went with the headline, "New Bowery Hotel Uglier Than The Last."

And at EV Grieve? Here's a sampling of the comments:

Cookiepuss said...
Both of these images horrify me! The skinny structure every time I see it, either in person or in a photograph brings me all the way back to points in my life where I experienced trauma. Both structures mimic the symmetry of Hitler's army. Sometimes I think that architects and developers are trying to create a new and superior race!

And!

Bowery Boy said...
The merits of each individual hotel on the new Bowery can be debated, but taken as a whole, this is about to be the worst stretch of Manhattan ever planned. Ok, maybe not planned, but developed. It looked better as Skid Row. The individual developers are getting their money, so they don't care, but one-by-one they are turning the Bowery into an architectual freak show. So sad.

And!

cvinzant said...
Does anyone know what those ridiculous white boxes are that jut out for no purpose? Are they made of stone? Metal? How much will the pigeons enjoy roosting on them?

And on the EV Grieve Facebook page, Luc Sante left this comment:

It would be cheaper and more useful just to blow up the building and leave a 30-foot crater.

Meanwhile, I've taken it upon myself to make a few suggested changes... Work in progress people...

Designs for new Bowery hotel unleashed; local blogger mutters something about cotton balls

Just last week reports surfaced that France’s Louzon Group has acquired the former Salvation Army building on the Bowery for $7.6 million and plans to turn it into a 65-room boutique hotel with one of their restaurants on the ground floor.



And now, Curbed has the design. Please be seated.

Billy's Antiques not getting its confiscated subway signs back

Catching up on some news from yesterday afternoon.... Last March, police arrested Billy Leroy and charged him with a felony of possession of stolen property in connection with subway signs that were seized from Billy's Antiques on East Houston.

Yesterday, the Times reported:

A Manhattan judge this week ruled against an antiques dealer attempting to get back subway signs that the police seized from him last year in a criminal case that was eventually dismissed.

But the judge, Rita Mella of Criminal Court, did empathize with the dealer, William LeRoy, and urged the State Legislature to change the laws governing cases like Mr. LeRoy’s.

Because state law does not give criminal courts the right to return to defendants belongings seized from them under a search warrant, Mr. LeRoy may be forced to file a lawsuit to get them back, “a measure that places a substantial financial burden on that individual, and contravenes the due process rights the courts and Legislature have sought to protect,” Judge Mella wrote in a 15-page decision.

Ronald L. Kuby, one of Mr. LeRoy’s lawyers, said his client was still considering his next step. The cost of continuing the litigation would be greater than the value of the signs... Mr. Kuby said.

As Billy said in an e-mail to me, "Well, looks like I'm fucked."

Today's sign of the apocalypse

"Introducing The Hopsicle Experience, a frozen can of beer, sliced in half and served like a Push Pop for big kids," now at Diablo Royale Este on Avenue A near 10th Street. (Source — who else? UrbanDaddy!)

Noted, and ugh

NYPD working hard to close up budget gap

A reader sent along a link to the blog, Lori E. Seid… And How Was Your Day? This post is from last Monday, the first day of summer in Tompkins Square Park:

"This morning at 7:05, 2 Police SUV’s and a Van pulled over to us sitting on the ground with our dogs, by the benches behind the tree. The window of one rolled down & a voice questioned why our dogs were off the leash. Our ID’s were demanded and we were told to wait as the window rolled up and 2 other cops came out of their vehicles & joined the one to discuss our situation. 3 vehicals – 3 cops – 15 minutes of attention for aprox 11 lbs worth of unleashed dogs sitting on their owners lap, in a park, early in the morning."



"The summons both Charlie & I received were for criminal court appearances (mandatory or a warrant for our arrests’ will be issued) and cost $200 each. The photo above is of the lawbreakers waiting, as instructed by the officer, while our ID’s were check for outstanding warrants or acts of terrorism or whatever these little critters could cook up. I do feel safer now, don’t you?"

MTA will get the L out of there

A follow-up to the post over the weekend about the MTA's new FML signs... Patrick Hedlund at DNAinfo reported yesterday that the MTA will change the sign...

"I guarantee you the people who install the signs have absolutely no idea what that [phrase] means," said NYC Transit spokesman Charles Seaton, noting that the new sign will display the letter L below the F and M.

No word yet on the JZ line.

[Top image via Gothamist; FML image via Digitalisms. Thanks to Digitalisms for getting this whole thing out there!]

Wish you were here

Outside the Pickle Bar sign at Whole Foods on Houston and the Bowery.

"Crazy Landlord" cleans up his corner: Here comes a "sexier Balthazar"

On March 20, 2009, we first noted the "crazy landlord" sign on the long-dormant corner of Second Avenue and Third Street... Since then, the corner has attracted plenty of street art...




...even with the rumored Belgian Ale House coming in here...

After a back-and-forth between painters and taggers, the street art team seemed to have won, as the corner full of wheat paste and spray paint and stickers remained for months... Yesterday, though, workers came and painted the whole thing...



...even the "crazy landlord" sign came done...



This is serious!

Last week, Eater had more gory details on the new Belgian joint coming to this location... it will be called the Belgian. Here are the owner's words to Eater:

It is a beautiful high ceiling space with a very Gothic basement with a sidewalk vault all around, similar to Bacaro. The basement will have a separate bar and dining as well as beer and wine cask rooms and an area for brewing.
The main floor will have a large canopied bar, large tables beer hall style with old oak and mahogany church pews. The large french doors will open to a wraparound sidewalk cafe sitting 40 or so under large colorful awnings. It will be romantic yet appropriate. Think a sexier Balthazar marries a corpulent Fette Sau and the offspring is The Belgian.

[Sigh]

Thanks for the memories, Crazy Landlord corner...

Noted

NY Barfly (via Grub Street) has a post on that Secret-Service-looking fellow pacing back in forth in front of Keith McNally's Pulino's on the Bowery and Houston:

Turns out the guard was there to secure the pies. The staff explained it was a “sketchy corner”, so he was milling about to keep the peace, and presumably to protect the pepperoni.

Reader mailbag: Cops called after a sandwich order is cancelled

The following is an e-mail from an EV Grieve reader...from an outing at Simone at First Avenue and St. Mark's...

"I had a very unpleasant incident at Simone earlier today when I went with a friend for a snack. When we went there it was a nice quiet place and we placed our order. Soon after our soup came the lights went down and the (what they called) music got very loud. When we were unable to get them to keep the volume down we went to leave, did not want to pay for a cancelled sandwich order (that we did not take with us).

They called the police. Long story short, I called to cancel my credit card charge and I was advised that TWO charges (in the same amount but NOT in the amount of my receipt) had been billed to my card."

I responded, they called the cops? Were you still there?

"We were there when the cops came. How could we leave? The cops were not any help. Even though we did not take the sandwich with us they said we had to call the [Better Business Bureau] and take [Simone] to Small Claims Court."

[Image via New York]

Meet your new neighbor! What an East Village townhouse builder wants removed

An EV Grieve reader passed along this gem of a discussion from StreetEasy...

Hello, I'm hoping that someone here knows about street renovation work. Specifically, how does one go about getting a large smooth stone removed from in front of a building? I'm referring to the type of tan stone, possibly granite, that you see in front of older buildings. They are potentially very dangerous, especially when wet or icy. The reason I ask is that we're considering building a townhouse in an historic neighborhood like the East Village and one of the properties has this type of slippery stone in front of it on the sidewalk. From what I understand, property owners can be held liable if a resident or passerby slips and falls. We hope to add a few extra storeys to the top of our home as rental apartments and don't want our residents nor our children getting hurt. Is there a city agency that deals with this sort of thing or can we have a contractors dig up the sidewalk? We have yet to decide on the exact lot, but have looked at different locations and if this is a complicated process it would add to our costs which could already be high if they include removing an old automotive shop or entrenched rental occupants. Also, how does one deal with patches of old cobblestones? There is potentially the same problem with them on the street and I've heard of instances of them being removed by the city for the safety of residents.

Given the date, we'd almost say this was a hoax....except that she posted this two weeks ago....

Smell like gentrified railroad tracks

You may have seen this over at Racked yesterday... worth calling attention to....



For only $145 ($220 for 100ml), you can buy Bond No. 9's new High Line fragrance.

Per the Post today:

"This is a real, local, New York railroad-track fragrance," Rahme said. "Eighty percent of the notes come from plants and flowers that grow on the High Line."

But as much as New Yorkers may love grazing weeds, purple love grass and oak, many had doubts about wearing them.

"Gee, I hope it's not based on some of the dog poo that lies around here a lot of the time," said Gretta Baker-Allen, 27.

An inspired Thomas Verlofski, 24, said, "Maybe I'll design an after-shave based on the smell of the public toilets in Penn Station. I'm sure that would be a best-seller."

Things that go hump in the night

We interrupt your Friday morning with the most important survey maybe of the morning. From NBC New York:

More than two-thirds of New Yorkers hear their neighbors bumpin' and grindin' at all hours of the night, but most don't confront them about it (yikes!) or call city hot lines to complain (we don't think 311 takes those calls anyway), a new survey found. The study, conducted by NYC homeowners' Web site BrickUnderground.com., suggests you and your significant other may want to muzzle your moans regardless of whether your neighbors whine about the volume of your sexual trysts. Nearly a fifth of those surveyed actually became aroused by the sounds of their neighbors getting it on.

Will New York City gets its very own Whopper Bar?

Oh, probably. From the Post today:

The restuarant chain is set to open a Whopper Bar, offering hamburgers and beer, in the South Beach section of Miami in mid-February. USA Today reported Friday that more Whopper Bars could be coming to hot spots such as New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, according to Chuck Fallon, president of Burger King North America.

At the Whopper Bar, beer will be served in aluminum bottles to keep them cold [an EV Grieve intrusion: how novel!] and cost $4.25. A Whopper combo with a beer costs $7.99, roughly $2 more than the same combo meal with a fountain drink.

The Whopper Bar concept offers hamburgers such as the Whopper, Double Whopper or Steakhouse XT built by employees known as a Whopper-ista.... There are 22 different toppings to choose from to build your sandwich.

Meanwhile, on Wall Street...

About that abandoned jar on East Third Street

On East Third Street between Avenue A and Avenue B...



Uh, what is the hell is this?



Is this how Momofuku delivers its calamari salad these days?

Turning "Cocktail" into a Broadway musical isn't the worst idea ever -- it just seems like it

Page Six has the story today:

Tom Cruise's "Cocktail" is to be turned into a Broadway musical by legendary producer Marty Richards -- and Katie Holmes could be up for a role. The '80s movie is being adapted by Heywood Gould, who wrote the original book and film. Gould told us, "I am writing it as we speak. Marty Richards is on board and he's working on the score. It's far too early to talk about casting. We haven't approached anybody yet. But I do like Katie Holmes." Gould was guest of honor at the other night's "Cocktail" 20th anniversary party at TGI Friday's at Penn Station.

Noted

Over at the Examiner, Sabrina Brody, the LA Celebrity Headlines Examiner, writes about Madonna's sue-happy neighbors upset about the noise coming from the star's NYC apartment. And then! the story goes here:

[I]t could be the general irritating whiny new fad that's started since New York City's gentrification rate skyrocketed. All these people moving to Alphabet City and the Lower East Side who proceed to complain that the notoriously grungy, loud neighborhood is grungy and loud. Hey, it's a city! A pretty tight city. The noise is part of the rush. YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.