Showing posts with label movies that we will never see. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies that we will never see. Show all posts

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sunday, July 11, 2010

East Village on Russell Brand alert

The 'Arthur' remake (a travesty that I won't even go into) is filming around Second Avenue and 11th Street tomorrow... The remake stars Russell Brand in the Dudley Moore role... co-starring Jennifer Garner and Nick Nolte....and maybe the old Batmobile.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Historic La Salle Academy attacked by viral marketing campaign

Ah, yes — the La Salle Academy, at Second Avenue and Second Street, recently celebrated its 160th anniversary.

But can it survive an attack by Sony's big blowupalooza coming this holiday season — "2012"?

A reader, who passed along the last photo in this set, is not impressed by the ad: "It's covering a big portion of the corner and it's really bad. They try to make it look like it was defaced, but it's not."

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Easy as One Two Three

I've been kicking around the idea of seeing the "The Taking of Pelham" remake. So-so reviews. I know people who really liked it, though. Perhaps it's one to sneak a few beers into. Help pass the time.

Anyway, over at Runnin' Scared, Roy Edroso compared what "New York on film means now, and what it meant when the 1974 Joseph Sargent version ... was new." He seems to sum up exactly why I'm not hurrying to throw $12.50 at the theater.

A few of his points:

"In the 1974 film, the low-ceilinged control center, the glimpses of grim city streets, and Mr. Green's crummy walk-up at the finale suggest enough of the battered old New York to make an impression. There aren't too many physical details that stand out in the new 123..."


"The old film has a comic undertone that the new one can't afford. 2009's jacked-up pace is part of it, but it's also a philosophical difference. In the new film everyone's playing for high stakes all the time, clenched like fists. In the old film, most characters show some weary resignation, which is something city folk have to learn if they're to keep going."

Not to mention John Travolta's hammy theatrics.

And here's a little filmstripesque sequence from the first film... when the transport of the ransom money gets sidetracked at Astor Place.

5 New York 70s Movies We Are Terrified to See Remade

Previously on EV Grieve:
New York City subway films of the 1970s

The ransacking of Pelham One Two Three

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Human league

After more than six months, an ad returns to the space above the Sidewalk on Sixth Street and Avenue A....

So, what is this ad for... Pest control? Roach Motels? New reality show starring the Kardashians? No, unfortunately, it's actually for "District 9," an extraterrestrial thriller that's out in theaters Aug. 14.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Spinning into DVD

"Spinning into Butter," a racial drama starring Sarah Jessica Parker, was released last Friday, showing locally at the Sunshine on Houston. The film had reportedly been sitting on the shelf for nearly four years and was unceremoniously dumped on the market. The marketing campaign consisted of putting up the Worst Movie Posters Ever on Houston and Avenue B and East Fifth Street near Cooper Union. And probably a few other places.

According to Variety, the film grossed $5,534 during the March 27-29 weekend. It played at four theaters in the country. That's good for a $1,384 per screen average. So let's see if my arithmetic is any good. It played six times a day at the Sunshine; 18 times then for the weekend, we assume. So divide the $1,384 by 18. That's roughly 77. So 77 people saw the movie over the weekend at the Sunshine. Tickets are $12.50 each. So, 77 divided by 12.50.... so that means, on average, six people saw each screening.

By the way, "Spinning into Butter" is no longer playing at the Sunshine.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Falafels for lunch today...? Oh, on second thought...

Great ad placement.

The Haunting of the East Village

"The Haunting of Connecticut" finally opens today...Hoorah! I'm tired of seeing these ads around the neighborhood showing what looks like a young man....

who spent too much time at happy hour....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A movie poster that won't inspire me to go see the movie

The premise of the film via IMDB: "A hate crime on the campus of a New England college puts the school's dean (Parker) in a position where she has to examine her own feelings about race and prejudice, while maintaining her administration's politically correct policies." The film is based on the acclaimed play.

Poster spotted on Houston and Avenue B.

Right by this one:

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The challenges of making the Sex and the City sequel "recession-friendly"

US Weekly has this press release from Access Hollywood:

Sarah Jessica Parker says it's a challenge making the Sex and the City sequel recession-friendly.

"How do we do that well? And how do we do that in a not lazy way? How do we address these economic times in a franchise that has a lot to do with luxury and labels?" Parker tells Billy Bush for Access Hollywood.

"There is a lot that we have to think about because times are very different. So these are nice challenges, these are good challenges," adds Parker -- who once said her character Carrie Bradshaw would end up "in a hospital" if she couldn't afford her trademark $600 Manolo Blahnik shoes.

And what can we expect in the sequel?

"I think we want this one to be a romp," she says. "The last one, we got to tell a really mature sophisticated story that had real heartbreak in it, and this time, I think we want a romp. We want our audience to have a massive romp."

Hmmm....Romp, eh? I think SJP meant to say...."I think we want something like 'Romper Stomper.' We want our audience to have a massive romp."


[And I'm late to all this...Esquared had this important SATC news last night -- check out his 40% off photo....Daily Intel also had the goods...)

Friday, February 6, 2009

We're all likely stuck with a SATC sequel, so we might as well make fun of it (some more)

Over at Runnin' Scared today, Roy Edroso has some fun whipping up plotlines that we'd like to see for the as-yet-to-be-written Sex and the the City of which was recently confirmed. (Haven't we suffered enough of late with all the lousy economic news...?) Per Runnin' Scared:

Big's salary is capped at $500,000, and Carrie is replaced at the paper by a 19-year-old anal sex enthusiast with the nom de plume BrownEye, in honor of the Ivy League school she dropped out of. Money becomes tight, and Big finds that after a lifetime of Cohibas he cannot adjust to El Productos. After a series of comic moonlighting misadventures as a cab driver and new media consultant, he works contacts from his secret past as a NYPD detective and gets some shifts as a bouncer with his old pal Jesse L. Martin. Carrie starts a blog, which she makes racier to draw traffic ("How can I say I love you," her words scrolls across the MacBook screen, "when your balls are in my mouth?") but it still doesn't pay much, and they are forced to move to Greenpoint. There is a poignant, slow-motion moment when Carrie realizes Vera Wang isn't suitable for Studio B.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Unborn yesterday

No doubt you've seen the movie posters for The Unborn plastered around the neighborhood...such as these at 6th Street and Avenue C. The movie opened yesterday in theaters.

First reaction? What the fuck is Gary Oldman doing? He plays a rabbi. In the shot below below, Gary reads the script. Yuk, yuk.

Ugh. At least we were spared The Unborn Gratuitous Butt Shot posters for the teenaged audience.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

My apologies!

Got drawn into some dumbass barside conversation...I said with much certainty that, despite being released on Nov. 27, the stuffed turkey Australia was no longer playing anywhere in the city.

I was wrong: It's at the Village East! Hurry! Should be on DVD by Tuesday.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Let them mumble awhile

Nathan Lee reviews Let Them Chirp Awhile today in the Times:

Having heard once too often that his outfit is kind of lame, Bobby (Justin Rice), a useless East Village hipster, tucks into the American Apparel store on Houston Street and picks out a baby blue T-shirt with some help from Charlotte (Charlotte Af Geijerstam), a failed actress in hot pants and leg warmers. Later they meet for a drink and commiserate about their boring, complacent, privileged lives.

The old city,” Bobby muses, “like the one that I dreamed about, the one from the movies. It’s not there anymore. Maybe we’re both just maladjusted, you know, like we’re living in the past.”

And thus, for one brief moment, does “Let Them Chirp Awhile” acknowledge the source of its painfully unsympathetic take on postcollegiate New Yorkers who think themselves artists but don’t have an original thought in their heads.

Written and directed by Jonathan Blitstein, the movie really does live in an imaginary past, the one immortalized in classic Woody Allen films. How else to explain why Bobby and his circle of friends name-drop Chekhov, pontificate on Bergman, crack tired jokes about Los Angeles and spend all their time either failing at relationships or kvetching about their inadequacies while whimsical jazz coos on the soundtrack?

This sort of thing was indulgent enough the first time around; transplanted to the mumblecore milieu, it’s intolerable.

The Voice, meanwhile, says that while the narrative falls apart, it remains pretty hilarious from scene to scene. Time Out gives it three stars out of six.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"'s not some perfunctory cinematic appendix to a popular series, but the beginning of a whole new string of films"

That's part of Mick LaSalle's glowing review of Sex and the City in the San Francisco Chronicle.

Hoo-boy, did he like this movie. A lot!

Yet even viewers coming in cold will appreciate "Sex and the City" as the best American movie about women so far this year, and probably the best that will be made this year. Indeed, at the rate Hollywood has been going, it may stand as the best women's movie until "Sex and the City II," if that ever comes along.

Meanwhile, Mick wraps it up:

There's something alive here. There's a feeling about this movie, that it's not some perfunctory cinematic appendix to a popular series, but the beginning of a whole new string of films. There's certainly no artistic reason "Sex and the City" can't be the women's equivalent of "Star Trek," with human emotion being the final frontier. Like outer space, that frontier is infinite.

Is it true that in space, no one can hear you scream?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Articles that I won't be reading this week

From New York, a profile of Taavo Somer, proprietor of Freemans, etc. The sub-head alone is enough to scare anyone off:

For those in search of the next groovy thing, Taavo Somer, proprietor of Freemans and the new Rusty Knot, is the prey of the moment. His downtown anti-style wants to have it all ways all the time—ironic and earnest, neurotic and carefree, cool and cheeseball

Actually, I did read the first three paragraphs, where there was a discussion on the old ice machine at Joe's:

To Somer, however, the ice machine was an object of mysterious beauty. He’d moved to New York to be an architect, and although he’d quit the profession almost immediately, he retained an architect’s compulsive tendency to deconstruct interiors, to take them apart in his head and figure out how they worked. “That ice machine was just kind of awesomely utilitarian,” he says. “The inner workings were right in front of you, not hidden away in some super-refined way.” Somer soon found himself filling drawing pads with studies of dive bars—detailed renderings of fictional haunts where he imagined his friends would hang out. The places he drew looked like Joe’s, with one crucial difference: Everything accidental was now orchestrated, the ice machine a piece of the design. “You don’t know it, but that’s what makes a place like that so comfortable,” says Somer. “That’s why you want to come back every night.”

Do you blame me for stopping after this?

Also, not to pick on New York, a magazine I generally like, there's the cover story on something called Sex and the City. The headline and sub-head here make the article seem sympathetic to the star.

Sarah Jessica Parker Would Like a Few Words With Carrie Bradshaw
The Sex and the City star likes Victorian morality tales, frets about artistic purity, and laments the passing of Old New York. So how did she become the poster girl for the New Manhattan

Let me know how it goes.

Meanwhile! The New York Daily News also thinks New Yorkers care about the Sex and the City movie. What else would explain the paper running an EXCLUSIVE review of the movie 25 days before it opens? Great scoop, thanks! Oh, and Features Editor Colin Bertram gives it a breathless four out of five stars.

Meanwhile, does anyone die in the movie? Does anyone here care?