Thursday, June 23, 2011

One man's campaign against 'the doorshitter' on St. Mark's Place

From the EV Grieve inbox...

I have been living in NYC for 25 years. For the first time, I have a problem that seems to be hard to solve. I live on St. Marks Place between 2nd and 3rd.

For the past 6 weeks I’ve had a homeless man shit on the front door of my building. NOBODY wants to deal with it. 311, 911, etc just don’t care. I get it too, there are a lot bigger issues going on.

But see, it’s a quality of life issue for both me and my neighbors and this sub human of a homeless man. It’s not fun starting your day off when you walk out of your building to greet the world and it kicks off with a pile of shit, the stench and flies. I have caught the Doorshitter in action!

I was nice to him the first time. I told him he must stop and if he doesn’t I will take action. The Mad Crapper has continued his shitty assault on my door. I will stop this ace of a man dropping deuces if it’s the last thing I do!

I have now taken action….


• I have a photo of this man. I’ve met with all the shop owners on St, Marks between 2nd and 3rd. Everybody has an issue with him. When he’s spotted…they will point and scream “DOORSHITTER, STAY OFF OUR BLOCK”.

• I don’t want to hurt this man; I do want to freak him out so he’s scared to come back. Yesterday I had an encounter with The Mad Crapper. I screamed at him and followed him for blocks yelling things such as”STOP SHITTING ON MY DOOR”, WHY DO YOU SHIT ON MY DOOR”. “HEY, EVERYBODY LOOK, THIS MAN SHITS ON MY DOOR”, Etc. Needless to say he was freaked out.

• I am on a one-man flyer campaign. The goal here is to shame this man. It may be hard though because how can he have shame if he shits on doors. Attached is the flyer I have been hanging on St. Marks place. People have been taking them because they think it’s funny or think I’m a new street artist.

• I don’t want this problem to escalate I want this shot to stop. PLEASE, help me if you can.

As far as future steps, I’m unsure what to do…
Yes, this problem is funny but at the same time it stinks. It’s shitty and a real battle.

Jordy VS The Doorshitter…..it’s on!

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

send him to crap around in front of the new luxury apartment buildings or hotels! I'll chip in a few dollars. If you really want to cause a stink contact the BMW Guggenheim Lab. They will get rid of the crap and the guy in exchange they will place another stink tank i mean think tank in front of your building.

Anonymous said...

I used to live on that very block, and now live on 9th. My problem is fat/psycho squirrels that vandalize my window gardens/plants. The only thing that works to get rid of them is: catching them in the act and dousing them from above w/ one gallon of Cold Water and Apple Cider Vinegar 3:1 ratio). I suspect this would work well on sub-humans.

Anonymous said...

I live nearby and recognize that guy. I've seen him panhandling in front of my building. I support what my neighbor Mr. Jordy is doing, because it is a very serious matter. This is not Bangladesh, we are supposed to have standards of cleanliness and decorum. With the kind of rents and taxes we pay to live here, it is a joke how laissez faire everyone here is and that includes the police department. Sometimes it feels like we practically roll out a red carpet for the various bums, "travelers", tourists, uptowners, B&Ter's, (yeah that's right, I just lump them all in together, so fucking what) inviting them to treat our home (that's right, this is still technically a residential neighborhood) like a picnic area (my apt building which sits next to Pommes Frites that greasy nuisance), pub crawl (pretty much whole neighborhood), skateboard park (Astor place) toilet (I've caught bum pissing on my front door), trash dump (st marks& 2nd) any sidewalk), you name it. And maybe its my disillusionment but I always imagine any outrage at these seems to be met by the majority with "Hey man, leave them be it's a free country" Man I miss the Giuliani days when homelessness was treated like the problem that it is.

Jeremiah Moss said...

i took a photo of this sign today and while i was taking it, the Door Shitter himself approached me for change. it was a postmodern moment.

Lux Living said...

You are kinder than me. I'd shovel it into a bucket and douse him with it. Good Morning Sunshine indeed!

Anonymous said...

This guy is clearly trying to bait you. There is no reason why he couldn't find a more private place to do his business. You need to get everyone to all start calling the local precinct every time he does this. If three, four, five, six people call every time and put the pressure on, they'll have to take action. Not only is this a health hazard, you've got indecent exposure. Who knows who he is dropping his pants in front of. I wouldn't want him dropping his drawers in front of my kids.

esquared said...

there should also be a campaign against door vomitters, no different than the doorshitter, just comes out of the mouth, instead of the arse. and it's still not fun to start the day when ones walk out of the building to greet the world and it kicks off with a pile of vomit, the stench and flies

Stinky Mike and the boys said...

WE WILL SHIT ON YOUR DOOR AGAIN!

Hey19 said...

Ha Jeremiah.
This is totally disgusting and I agree with you that it has to be dealt with, and I understand that you are at the end of your rope. I take issue with calling him sub human, and the whole shame campaign. If it were a pedo or something, I would be first to follow him for blocks calling him a pedo, but I feel like there should be a different way to deal with someone who is just a mess of a homeless guy.

It sounds like you have tried that and it didnt work, so maybe go about your business, just dont call him sub human, and dont send him to my block. ha.

Anonymous said...

couldn't he just poop in the dog run like a normal person?

Anonymous said...

I totally know recognize that guy, and to be completely honest...he smells like shit.

Anonymous said...

sounds like a human rights issue maybe the rev. al will step in it ..

Marty Wombacher said...

I smell a reality show in the works! And yes, like most reality shows, it smells like shit!

Anonymous said...

How do we know Jordy is telling the truth?

Alex said...

I live on 9th and have the fat/psycho squirrels occasionally. I like to fill my mouth with acidic liquids and spit at them through my teeth, cobra-style.

We've only had one doorshitting experience here, which was a few years back. Someone smeared shit across the doorknob of our building so that you'd have your hand in it when you went to open it.

Anonymous said...

Nobody's going to make a joke about everything on that block being crap anyway?

Jeremiah Moss said...

the guy is clearly very mentally ill. i would call one of the homeless outreach services in the neighborhood. they might be able to help him.

and, right, why is this more upsetting than all the yups who let their dogs shit on trees and all over the sidewalks, and the drunk NYU kids of vomit and piss on everything?

Jeremiah Moss said...

Jordy, forget 911 and 311. try calling Unitas on St. Marks. ask them if they know of anyone in the neighborhood who does outreach to the homeless. they might have some ideas--they might even know this guy.

http://www.unitas-nyc.org/eng/index.html

Ken from Ken's Kitchen said...

Call Rosie Mendez if calling 311 has gotten you nowhere. Or show up at the 9th precinct with pictures.

A flyer campaign is a waste.

Anonymous said...

Pick it up and ram down his throat then beat him with a hammer,one rainy night.Old NY Style.I guarantee you he will stop.Don't be a pussy ..suck it up.FTW

Anonymous said...

Ohh yeah, Jordy's ma boy, he's telling the truth...

Anonymous said...

The guy sounds like a bully. Don't automatically feel sorry for him because he is homeless. A lot of these homeless guys have left a trail of destruction and hurt people behind them.

Anonymous said...

25 years in NY and you don't know how to handle this problem? Let me guess . . . You weren't born here. You belong to the first wave of lower east side gentry. You probably did a lot of bitching and complaining about Giuliani. I have a newsflash for you pal: You don't need to write 3 paragraphs explaining why you have a right to be upset about a guy craping where you live and how fair you've been about it. You don't need to take pictures or talk to the neighbors about it either. GRAB YOUR BALLS , CONFRONT THE PRICK, GRAB HIM BY THE BALLS IF NEED BE , AND TELL HIM IF HE DOES IT AGAIN YOU'LL BEAT THE F$%K OUT OF HIM! And don't feel bad about it .

KairosKim said...

Really - human shit seems (is?) even more toxic than animals'. Should be buried in dirt, covered w/ sand/rocks - anything to keep the stink from rising.

Mr PooPoo, mentally ill not withstanding, must have his figurative feet held to the figurative fire until he literally deals with his own shit.

Sorry for your troubles Jordy and your neighbors.

And we live in interesting times...

Uncle Waltie said...

That's why the goddess invented baseball bats. Had one of these clowns in my vestibule circa 1978. Whacked him across his butt. He's never been seen on 5th Street again. I call it Street Justice. (Of course I threw out the bat after that encounter.)

Anonymous said...

Internet toughguys.

Erin said...

What the hell is wrong with you?

You are dealing with a person who is very obviously mentally ill and/or without resources.

I'm a clean-cut looking person with a home and a job and even I can't get any of the neighborhood establishments to let me use their bathroom.

Do you think that maybe - just maybe - he might have very few resources?

Maybe directing him to a homeless outreach center or contacting such an establishment yourself might be more effective than this childish, vindictive, and very obviously going-to-fail revenge campaign?

Reading this makes me want to organize a big shit flash mob outside your door. We'll all go out for Mexican first, too.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I also think calling someone "sub human" is terrible and says more about the guy getting shit on than the one doing the shitting.

Sure, it sucks having to step over a steaming pile of stink, but at least you're stepping over it on your way out of your nice, comfortable apartment in a super desirable part of town.

Instead of a mentally ill homeless guy, why not publicly shame all the privileged frat boys/girls puking all over the place after poisoning themselves on purpose with overpriced drinks? At least shitting is necessary and involuntary...

Or better yet, take all that time and energy and passion you've put into organizing your 'shame campaign', and use it instead to do a little to help get this guy off the street. You'll solve your problem, and look like a hero; no one would have ever had to know how little compassion you seem to have.

Anonymous said...

Is this guy an Obama voter?

Uncle Waltie said...

Erin, kindly publish your address and I'll gladly direct the drunken morons to your welcoming abode. Love you to pieces...

Uncle Waltie said...

"I'm a clean-cut looking person with a home and a job and even I can't get any of the neighborhood establishments to let me use their bathroom."


Obviously you're hanging out at the wrong "neighborhood establishments." The International Bar* lets anyone use their bathrooms. Been there many mornings and witnessed their generosity.
You have to get with the program.

http://120point5.wordpress.com


I do't mean to spam. EVG. It just pisses me off when neophytes make statements unsupported by fact.

Anonymous said...

I hope after he takes a crap he starts puking on your door.

You liberals that keep voting for Democrats, that could give a shit about you, deserve a crappy quality of life.

I live in NYC too and I hope I see this man, I will give him prune juice.

glamma said...

"WHY DO YOU SH*T ON MY DOOR??"

Classic.

Anonymous said...

What we really need in this city are more public toilets; let's not strawman the issue here. locating the occasional starbucks and barnes and nobles are fine, but when you are in neighborhoods like the lower east side, chinatown, etc. where are you gonna find a public toilet? a lot of establishments don't want to bother with non customers using their facilities.

Anonymous said...

You are so mean. He obviously has issues. Instead of yelling at him-why not invite him to use your bathroom? It not your street. You dont own it. So why are you yelling at him to get off your block? You are also violating his civil right to privacy because you are taking his picture without his consent and posting it everywhere. Hmmm I could start a lawsuit in his favor. I do pro bono...try to remember what the EV was when you arrived in 1986.

Anonymous said...

"You are also violating his civil right to privacy because you are taking his picture without his consent and posting it everywhere. Hmmm I could start a lawsuit in his favor. "

I'm not a lawyer but even I know there is no expectation of privacy when you are on the street. I doubt there is an exception if you are pooping on the street but maybe I could be wrong.

BTW, what's your address? With the lack of public toilets I like to have as many places to drop a deuce as possible. Thanks for your generous offer!

nygrump said...

I've seen this guy sitting on the church steps puking between his legs and then just sitting there. Im sure the doogooders on this board were there to pick up after him. No? You let the church janitor do it? How kind of you. There is a drinking school on that corner and I regular see its members pissing between the free newspapers boxes on 6th and 2nd Ave. Does appear NYPD has stopped them from passing out under the scaffolding and sleeping down in the basement level Indian restaurants (along with the crusties).

Friend of TMS said...

I know a Mad Sh*tter myself, also living in NY. He does doorway & hallway, knob & handle smearing, etc. Sh*tting to him is fun. If you've ever been inside a Waldbaums's that completely stunk of sh*t, with hordes of employees searching for the location of the stench, you've been near him. He sh*ts in a paper bag, takes it inside the store, finds the approximate center of the supermarket, pushes the cans aside, then smears the contents of the bag underneath a shelf, before replacing the cans. He's also been known to buy pints of ice cream, leave a present buried in the contents, & return it to a freezer. There is no corn in Rocky Road according to the label. Winter windshield wiper overnight sh*t is also a move he does, along with p*ss & sh*t mixture poured into the air intake of the HVAC system. Nothing quite like getting shmisted when you turn the A/C on. Anyway, NewYorkers are some sick as* people, but generous in their sharing. Even if it's just their sh*t.