Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cindy Adams takes on the inconveniences and unpleasantries of having to ride in elevators with commoners

What a hassle!

Take residential buildings where tenants have no in-house washer and dryer. Residents must schlep laundry to the basement washroom or nearest Laundromat. I understand they don't wish to be dirty neighbors but can't they cover their menfolks' unwashed BVDs? Tuck their own bra straps inside the basket? Under the box of Ivory? Those who are big-busted or cosmetically enhanced could invest in Ivory's economy-size box.

Food delivery is another thing. The pizza guy coming up. The Chinese-food delivery boy. Always nice to have the aroma of subgum wafting to the roof. And can we talk about the sweaty bicycle rider who gets in with his helmet, leg clamps, wheel chain -- and does NOT look like Lance Armstrong?

In buildings minus a service elevator, one must occasionally cool one's designer heels as deliverymen load cartons of toilet paper, Pampers and oranges that always roll out of their brown-paper bags into the lift. Everyone stares into the bags thinking, "Hmmm, chuck steak instead of T-bone. Apartment 46K's having money trouble."



Alex in NYC said...

She should be flayed alive.

Girl said...

Ha ha! Great photo choice. Who would want to be caught in an elevator with THAT freak!?!

Anonymous said...

She is as witty as she is youthful.

Jeremiah Moss said...

what the F planet does she live on?

Anonymous said...

Who knew the old bird even left her apartment?