Wednesday, November 2, 2011

[EVG Flashback] An EV Grieve investigative report: In search of the Penistrator

Originally posted on Jan. 20, 2009...

In cooperation with the National Weather Service, we arranged for it to snow this past weekend. Why? We were hoping to capture the increasingly notorious Penistrator, a brazen snowffiti artist who is leaving his (or her? Nah) mark on unsuspecting cars throughout the neighborhood. We hired a profiler to help us in the case. His thoughts: "Based on scant evidence, keep on the lookout for what is likely a white male, Floridian, football fan, in his 20s who may be resentful of the fact that he doesn't have his car in the city."

And so, with the snowfall Saturday night, we began the quest. On first watch we saw a suspicious-looking figure lurking near the site of the original snowffiti on Seventh Street near Avenue B...

Having been spotted, he beat a retreat. The cars were left unmolested. But for how long?

Until Sunday night ... when we arranged for another 1-2 inches of snow to fall on the area. Given our profiler's belief that the Penistrator is a football fan, we also arranged for two high-profile NFL games to be played Sunday.

This combination of snow, football and, possibly, large amounts of alcohol, was all the Penistrator needed... as you can see from this wide path of penistruction on 13th Street that stretches from Third Avenue all the way to Avenue B.

Another clue: An Eagles fan?

And is he adding a new body part to his repertoire?

With the Super Bowl and more snow on the horizon...there's every reason to think this will continue...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was one of the two high school-aged boys who splashed/threw milk on my coat a couple of winters ago after I jokingly admonished them for tossing milk on each other. Ah, kids these days! God love 'em.