Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An EV Grieve investigative report: In search of the Penistrator

In cooperation with the National Weather Service, we arranged for it to snow this past weekend. Why? We were hoping to capture the increasingly notorious Penistrator, a brazen snowffiti artist who is leaving his (or her? Nah) mark on unsuspecting cars throughout the neighborhood. We hired a profiler to help us in the case. His thoughts: "Based on scant evidence, keep on the lookout for what is likely a white male, Floridian, football fan, in his 20s who may be resentful of the fact that he doesn't have his car in the city."

And so, with the snowfall Saturday night, we began the quest. On first watch we saw a suspicious-looking figure lurking near the site of the original snowffiti on Seventh Street near Avenue B...



Having been spotted, he beat a retreat. The cars were left unmolested. But for how long?






Until Sunday night ... when we arranged for another 1-2 inches of snow to fall on the area. Given our profiler's belief that the Penistrator is a football fan, we also arranged for two high-profile NFL games to be played Sunday.

This combination of snow, football and, possibly, large amounts of alcohol, was all the Penistrator needed... as you can see from this wide path of penistruction on 13th Street that stretches from Third Avenue all the way to Avenue B.






Another clue: An Eagles fan?




And is he adding a new body part to his repertoire?



With the Super Bowl and more snow on the horizon...there's every reason to think this will continue...

13 comments:

Jeremiah Moss said...

holy cow! what an extravaganza

EV Grieve said...

I'm afraid I don't have enough resources to properly track this fiend. He cleverly changed his MO, moving to another street to flaunt his oeuvre.

East Village Podcasts said...

I can see a new museum opening in the works.

boweryboogie said...

keep it up. you'll catch him/her eventually.

EV Grieve said...

Excellent idea, EVP...I was thinking the same thing! Which is why I purchased the hood of the car containing the "stink fist." (It's currently in the walk-in at PinkBerry.)

Karate Boogaloo said...

Keep up the good work!

cmwallwatcher said...

When it comes to penis graffit, never rule out construction workers.

Anonymous said...

I like the penis grafitti--I surely hopes he keeps it up!!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad (he?) added a nice pair of women's titties on the LTD.

Anonymous said...

"stink fist"?
...wonder if that's a reference to the lydia lunch/foetus collaboration in the 80's...

Anonymous said...

Better not get "2Clean" car on 8th between B & C. that guy is out there every day cleaning his car.

Anonymous said...

Mystery solved!!!


http://www.tmz.com/2009/01/11/haley-joel-osment-i-see-d-people/

DunceCap said...

Ten snowballs says Neckface did it.