I guess the 6-12 people on the safari party bus were caught a bit off-guard last night when I began trying to kick their door in. Awoken moments before, at 4, by the shouting and music, I went to the window and saw what it was and quickly grabbed my pants, shoes, thought of getting a bat, but didn’t want to wake the kids by opening their baseball gear. It was their sleep that I was trying to preserve after all.
When I went outside I wasn’t thinking that I’d be trying to kick their door in. Maybe I tried to push the door open to scream at them to move on? I don’t quite remember...except that the door was shut hard and that I was giving it my all now, repeatedly...wham! wham! wham!
As I was doing this I think I was screaming to get the bus OFF this street (maybe not as nicely as that). At one point I exchanged some words with someone baiting me at one of the two open windows, he telling me how he was going to fuck me up and holding a kitchen scissors as if it was a knife, and me saying to come on out bitch as I leapt up and tried to grab his face off.
I should have, of course, thrown a punch but didn’t, and they weren’t coming out of the bus either. There were no real fighters there, myself included, thank god, just a lot of testosterone, booze, etc. The kid turned away when someone said let’s move down the street.
And, the bus was up and running and as I was thinking down the street isn’t going to work for me, a half drunk can of beer came whizzing by my head. I followed the bus on foot, opened a recycle bin or two and pulled out some bottles, 32oz-ers I think, three of them, and I was running now. The bus thought about parking for a sec, and then decided to hightail it as they saw me running up behind them, except that the light was against them. They paused before running it as I hurled bottle #1 at their rear and as they floored it up the Bowery I hit them once again with #2.
I do wish that I had just knocked on their door and kindly asked them to turn down their music and move their party elsewhere. Oh well, perhaps this might help other prospective traveling living rooms to steer clear of East Fifth Street.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A reader shares this incredible true story from early Monday morning...