Sunday, February 14, 2010

A special Valentine's via Craigslist: "have fun jerking it to the pics you took of the bartenders"

Epic smackdown via Criagslist.

Douchebag at LIT obsessed with my teeth, - w4m - 37 (East Village)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-02-13, 5:06AM EST

Yeah, you're the "hipster" ass at LIT who insulted me for no reason than I caught you buying Maxim or some pathetic mag at the bodega. You obviously have women issues to just walk up to me in a bar and throw insults - especially when my teeth are white and perfect. Jealous much? Horny much?..then of course, you run away when I talk back. You are pretty unattractive in the first place - and you probably haven't gotten laid for years..you should just masturbate before you go out clubbing..then you may stand a chance. You're uncalled for hatred of me spoke volumes about your lonely pathetic "life". I may not be a model, but i'm way more attractive than you are in anyone's book..What a douchebag you are - insult my teeth then run away. I would gladly have told you off more since I live on that block for 17 years and was quite comfortable there - but you were out of your hood so you must have hopped in your little old cab to Billyburg..Ah well, hope to see you at LIT again soon - i'll surely remember your ugly face and since they love me there we are bound to have a GREAT time...See ya soon...have fun jerking it to the pics you took of the bartenders..Maybe you'll get them in Vice even! Oh - and besides your crooked teeth, you have a bad nose, zits and a gross body I noticed. Sorry-just being honest! I'm sure you've heard it all before!

9 comments:

Eden Bee said...

hahaha..too funny..My grammar is bad though-I was drunk and pissed off..I meant "then" I caught him..and "your" not "you're" hatred of me..The responses i've been getting are hilarious too. The pics he was taking of the bartenders were of guys, not girls. It was someone "imporant's" birthday but i never found out whose it was..I just kinda got let in because I was a girl, alone all dressed up crazy. Boy-it was fun writing that mean post when I was wasted! And the responses keep coming in..
I'm surprised you didn't recognize my writing style!

Eden Bee said...

hahaha..important I meant! Bah..typing is for the birds..

Anonymous said...

Sounds like somebody's in loveeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

i thought they love you there, why didn't they just let you in?

Eden Bee said...

oh-fo' shizzle! Any man that cares about my dental hygiene is the man for me! If you ignore your teeth-they'll go away!

Eden Bee said...

They did let me in..i meant to write "then" later i saw him buying Maxim.. They made me come in to check out the shenanigans. The being allowed to dance was kinda fun..

Eden Bee said...

Grieve-I wanted to see what the big red rope fuss was about and take pics for my blog-but I never did find out whose birthday it was..I guess I can ask the bouncers tonight. There were cupcakes strewn around everywhere and it was "VIP list only" so i'm kinda curious what was going on.

EV Grieve said...

Maybe something for Fashion Week?

Eden Bee said...

The door guy with the list said it was someone's birthday I think. There were model types and stuff in there but I just couldn't figure out what the deal was-it was wall-to-wall people dancing. Eh, no big deal. There's always some private party going on in there it seems.