Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Barfin' at the Coop: The Serial Vomiter strikes again

We're hesitant to write anymore about this ongoing atrocity versus architecture... However, it is our duty to file this report... As we worldwide exclusively reported last Friday, someone in recent weeks has turned the new Cooper Union academic building into his or her own private vomitorium... We hoped that these were merely isolated incidents, perhaps... perhaps just an extra vicious pub crawl, extended game of flip cup or soapy batch of McSorley's...

No. The Vomitrator is getting dangerous, empowered by the publicity we so willingly heaped upon this sick individual.

As seen Sunday morning...



And, for any of you skeptics who thinks that the Yeti is a myth or believes that balding comes from your mom’s side (or wearing hats), here is further evidence that someone (or thing) is chundering on the Coop... the outline of previous puking sessions as seen here in Exhibits A through E:







We're curious what will happen next. Will the Cooper Union beef up security, particularly after happy hour? Or will The Vomitrator be free to strike again? Given the number of bars/tourists/students in this region, can anything stop The Vomitrator?

10 comments:

Jeremiah Moss said...

i believe! i believe!

Anonymous said...

Receding hairlines DO come from hats a lot of the time. If you are wearing a baseball hat the pressure and pulling of the those areas over time kills your shit son.

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when McSorley's is your next door neighbor!

Bowery Boogie said...

it's a pretty funny gag. pun intended.

Lambert said...

This is currently my favorite EV Grieve feature. Please do not give up on this story -- your tenacity is paying off!

EV Grieve said...

Thanks, Lambert... I will remain the Coop Boot Beat!

glamma said...

the chemicals in your shampoos and hair products also cause baldness in both men and women. go organic!
this is a dangerous area in general.. the other week at 8:30 pm on a friday, i was walking down st marks bet 2nd and 3rd and narrowly avoided being ralphed on by some NYU tool. danger zone. pls continue the feature. thank you.

Goggla said...

They could at least barf on the ramp and turn it into a slip-n-slide.

dmbream said...

We should organize a group stake out...and then when the culprit --- as well as his stomach bile --- emerges, we can jump out with lights and cameras and video cameras and point and laugh in a circle around him/her in the action.

Will make for a great YouTube moment, and may just shame the bastard into taking his show of irresponsibility elsewhere.

EV Grieve said...

Hey dmbream....a stakeout, eh? Maybe we could rent a van and park it across the street and stuff? I'm in!