Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The former Mars Bar is becoming a fucking bank branch

[A Mars Bar mural circa October 2009]

A 4,300-square-foot TB Bank branch, actually, as Steve Cuozzo reported today at the Post. It makes sense that the soulless new building rising here — dubbed Jupiter 21 — has an equally soulless type of retail tenant.


And whatever happened to Mars Bar owner Hank Penza's plan to open a new bar... or at least have the opportunity to reopen in the new building here on Second Avenue at East First Street?

19 comments:

Marty Wombacher said...

Barf. So glad I have memories of Mars.

Daho said...

I knew the East Village was dead when a couple of wall street guys and their whiny loud girlfriends were at Sidewalk Cafe watching sports on the tv.

esquared™ said...

A TB bank, or STD bank, would definitely be suitable to the residents there.

Gojira said...

Love Steve Cuozzo's sneering comments about "those who weep over every lost 'landmark' of the old Lower East Side", and his ref's to "the infamous dive bar Mars Bar’s...brew of funk and filth". What a brainless tool; no wonder he whores for Rupert Murdoch.

Anonymous said...

It is dead. It has been dead. As long as there's money to be made from its death it will become even deader. Why are you still expecting things from these guys? Why are you still shocked? Disgusted, yes, naturally. But at this point if you're surprised that they went for the money before the inheritance, you seem a little... slow.

Doug said...

Also funny that Cuozzo makes fun of people who lament the loss of the "funk and filth" of the Mars Bar when he himself is always ranting about losing the "funk and filth" of Times Square and its automobile traffic.

glamma said...

I knew someone who worked with Steve Cuozzo and yes, he is a total spineless wh0re, hence his constant self-contradiction and hypocrisy.
Can you imagine what will haunt that fre@kin bank?
I feel like going up to the teller window, putting $5 under the window and asking for a bud heavy, damn it!

abrod said...

If you could see me right now you'd see my surprised face! Who knew this would happen?

-Said nobody.

Crazy Eddie said...

Typical NY Post/Rupert Murdoch article blowjob to the Wall Street Master of the Universe Frat boy demo assholes. Remember these links? Only if you’re white/Bro Herd and 20 something is a bar “cool”. Like Yah!

http://www.nypost.com/p/lifestyle/food/item_3goxZPAhNNEirBUdCpLpeK;jsessionid=5870763BCFE1F81314343FA76E36FEC8

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/east_village_bohemian_snobs_drive_t3frNGZsDSigM2gqP5pB6M

THE NOTORIOUS L.I.B.E.R.A.T.I.O.N. said...

Let's rebrand this block the 'Failed Field of Dreams - We built it, but no one came.' Most of the new apartments on this block sit empty as does their crown jewel, the forever vacant, two story retail space on Second Ave and 2nd Street. So promising! I thought the whole process of "revitalizing" a neighborhood was to bring people to it? Where are they? Are they coming soon???

Anonymous said...

I hope the next mayor starts to curb the sh-t show that is happening in everyone's neighborhoods. They should make it illegal to build a new bank/cell phone, yogurt, H&M within 1000 feet of other named bank etc. Like they did the adult stores. We all notice what's going on but it's completely out of hand and it's ruining NYC.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow, I always dreamed of living in a place where I can just take the elevator downstairs, walk past my sullen, underpaid doorman and TAKE MONEY OUT OF AN ATM. And, then I can take that money back upstairs and put it on my kitchen island with the track lighting or on top of the toilet in my marble-clad bathroom with the double shower head while I post on Facebook about my new, exciting life in downtown Manhattan!

Makeout said...

@ Anon 1255- Why would you do that when you're paying with your credit card for everything? Btw I think your windows are going to be drafty this Winter.

Anonymous said...

Too bad it's not a Chase branch. That way, if I miss the ATM on Avenue A, I won't have to go all the way to the Bowery to use one!

Anonymous said...

It's a nice-looking building though. I would love one of those top-floor apartments, with the balcony.

THE NOTORIOUS L.I.B.E.R.A.T.I.O.N. said...

The balcony will come in handy for the people who move in and realize what a huge mistake they just made.

"Honey, what do you want to do tonight?"

"I don't know dear. We could walk by the gas station."

"Or we can check out the new ATM!"

"How about taking in an 'art show' at Blue & Cream? I have my eye on a $500 ripped t-shirt."

"Barbara, you do like to live on the edge you little rascal!"

Cornelia Sutphin said...

This picture of the new building looks like it could be Houston or Tampa. And WTF happened to the tree 20 paces down from 1st St? I gotta run outside and check that it's still there, under scaffolding.

Goggla said...

In the rendering - is that someone standing in the middle of the intersection, throwing up their arms in despair?

EV Grieve said...

@ Goggla

Ha. It does look like that... it's actually a woman simultaneously pulling back her hair while texting, talking on the phone and riding her bike on the sidewalk.