Wednesday, November 6, 2013

[Updated] Today's Empire Biscuit update

The new biscuitery at 198 Avenue A was back open this morning. Via Eater:

Co-owner Yonadav Tsuna says that they've bulked up their production, brought on a professional baker to streamline the biscuit-making, and smoothed out the service to get those biscuit sandwiches out as fast as possible.

Meanwhile, the Empire Biscuit Help Wanted ad remains on Craiglist, if you are qualified:

Empire Biscuit is hiring experienced line and prep cooks
We're looking for experienced line cooks and prep cooks. All shifts are available. You'll work with familiar and exotic, high quality, seasonal ingredients. You'll have the opportunity to smoke, pickle, and cure. You'll make sweet and savory jams and jellies. We're looking for precision, speed and cleanliness. Please see our menu at empirebiscuit.com. If you don't dig it, don't apply. We're a new restaurant. If you kick ass, you'll grow with us. Please send your resume. We hope to hear from you.

And no word just yet when they will remain open 24 hours a day.

Updated:
Gothamist has a feature on the shop today titled "Inside Empire Biscuit, Finally Ready To Meet East Villagers' Drunken Demand."

Per co-owner Yonadav Tsuna:

"We had some people here Saturday night crying outside," he said, when asked about the necessary closure late last week. Tsuna and his business partner Karl Wilder were inundated with so much early business that they were forced to lock up and hire additional staff in order to keep up with demand. "We're doing five times to ten times more than we thought we would," Tsuna said with a nervous grin.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can't wait, looks great!

Anonymous said...

I just ... what the eff have they been DOING for the past six months? Scratching their asses? Designing their wicked cool logo? (I still don't get that double M in Empire BTW. I'm sure it's super meaningful)

It's like, "Oh! We just opened this biscuit store, right? Maybe we need a line cook? herp derp"

Gojira said...

They JUST brought in a professional baker?!? $8.50 a pop for some of that stuff and it was not being made by a professional? What doorknobs.

Also I agree with Anon. 2:28 - a little late to be thinking of stuff like experienced cooks. And I don't get that stoopid double M either!

Anonymous said...

Every time I try to go to this place it is closed again. Come on! I want a biscuit!

3:17 pm said...

these biscuits over that biscuits

"If you don't dig it, don't apply. We're a new restaurant. If you kick ass, you'll grow with us."
They should also say if you don't dig our menu the go away.
And their and egotism arrogance know no boundaries. Another one of #Bloomberg'sNYC

Anonymous said...

You're being duped. This is all part of their hype machine. It's how that generation operates. That ad is not for real. That's not how you attract quality professional line cooks. They know that (I hope.)

Anonymous said...

Love Empire Biscuits articles on here!

The owners seem ridiculous, and the commenters just as so!

"And their and egotism arrogance know no boundaries."

THE NOTORIOUS L.I.B.E.R.A.T.I.O.N. said...

Is this the Amanda Bynes business model? A Gatling gun of poor decision making? When do they throw a bong out their window?

Cosmo said...

Their Kickstarter video said they had a Chef. What ever happened to that guy?

BTW, I went back and re-read all the biscuit posts - comedy gold!

4:05 pm said...

Ridiculous comment maybe, but at least we ain't selling and peddling no overpriced and pretentious biscuits and starting a Kickstarter campaign to give high fives. And apologies for not copyediting the comments. Maybe we should also hire a professional copyeditor via Craigslist.

Anonymous said...

Fro-yo in a hoof!

nygrump said...

As the grumpiest man on this board, I don't understand the anger against this independent business which surprised me - maybe because I don't live upstairs. The re-opening today made CBS radio news this morning, they quoted a NY POst report...

Anonymous said...

Yes, please give us regular updates on this debacle.

I'm guessing the weird M in their name is to say, "Mmmmm, yummy". Clearly the whole business is a goddamned clusterfuck so your guess is as good as mine.

Like I wrote in a previous EB post, this will end in tears.

Anonymous said...

I'm tempted to create a fake resume displaying the experience they're looking for, get hired, then share my secret insider info with you (Grieve and friends).

Makeout said...

@ Cosmo- Wasn't a Chef it was an actor.Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Biscuit this.

Anonymous said...

5:07, I just want you to know that "This will end in tears" is hilarious and appreciated.

Aren't these dudes former waiters from some serious foodie place? Meaning they are in the biz -- do they really not know ANYONE who could be their line cook? I feel like the ad is just another attempt at attention (which I must admit they are excellent at getting), but not an actual ad, seeking an actual employee. They are just sooo hinky.

Anonymous said...

If they can't handle a few sober patrons, what are they going to do when all the drunks they specifically reach out to in their tagline line up at the door? They're going to be in trouble then!

Anonymous said...

EMMpire Biscuit better hope they stop getting press or they'll iMMediately have to close down the biscuitoriuMM again! They're not prepared for MMore than five custoMMers per day.

Anonymous said...

"... closed until this morning to regroup after apparently being really business since opening day."

Dragnet said...

Grump, the thing is, these pretenders aren't here to serve the community or even the drunk transients, they're not even here to sell biscuits; they're selling themselves. They're basking in the media attention and giving their seed, key, and trust-fund money to their marketing agent, instead of spending and concentrating on running a business and making delicious authentic Southern style biscuits they're perpetrating. And the more one criticizes or critiques them, the more they're being hardheaded and childish about it, to the point where they're kind of a smart-aleck school kids' raspberry like
sticking out their tongue at you and saying "nah, nah, nah. so what?". Immature, infantile, and ill-mannered. Their existence is no different than that of 7-11 or the wooooo bars, offensive and impertinent.

Anonymous said...

I think the MM is supposed to look like a crown.

Anonymous said...

Yes, pure foodie hype, gimmickry and pretense. Just like in Cincinnati, right!? Ha!

Anonymous said...

Uh, his name is Perma Grin, not nervous grin.

Crazy Eddie said...

"The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire. Discuss."

IzF said...

You're right Dragnet.
Everybody wants to be the next Meatball Shop.

Anonymous said...

And the begining of the end as the biscuit empire crumbles

Anonymous said...

No, Cincinnati is in the North, duh. More like Asheville. But since You Ohioans are north of NYC, I guess that's why you think NYC is Southern and you guys would be attracted to the gimmick of Emmpire Bullshit, since you'd consider Applebee's fine dining. Now when your daddy Bloomberg leaves office, I suggest you go too.

Anonymous said...

According to the link they make "house-made lamb belly bacon". Oh for fuck's sake!

Anonymous said...

Meatball shop when they first started wasn't obnoxious. And the publicity came after they've opened up their shops and have served their products and the word of mouth spread. This Emmpire Brashcuits, however are just that -- brassy. They are just putting a cartload of bullshit before the horse.

Anonymous said...

I love how Gothamist, known for its extensive archive of train violence YouTube videos, it's suddenly an articulate and pointed manufacturer of decent articles. Not that I like the Biscuits. It's just funny to see Gothamist NOT phone it in for the first time ever. Who knew?!

Giovanni said...

Biscuits are
Invading
Some hipsters
Cute
Underwear
In
The middle of the night

This will end in beers...

Ken from Ken's Kitchen said...

Empire Biscuits is threatening to become as hot a hot button issue as Citibikes.

10:42 am said...

Yes, this will end in beers, as in they will apply for a liquor license and get it. Much like their incessant marketing and publicity of this, don't believe a word they say, esp. "As to the liquor stuff: our landlord was worried that we would apply for a license. We assured them that we wouldn't." and "he has no intention of adding alcohol to his menu". If they keep saying and defending it, that means they will apply for it and its been in their plans all along.

Anonymous said...

If the later commenters are correct that the owners will apply for a liquor license then do keep a close eye on upcoming CB3 dockets and make a show of force at the meeting if they appear on the docket.

They are not neighbors. They themselves said in their Kickstarter video they debated whether to set up shop in either Williamsburg or the EV and they opted for the EV. Hooray for us.

Anonymous said...

funny they opened the same week as 7-11. polar ends of the loser spectrum.
Let's hope they both close the same week as well, before the year is over.

Anonymous said...

Just had to share this extra taste of douche-baggery. Check out this 5 star yelp review from one of their friends who hasn't even eaten there yet! WTF http://www.yelp.com/biz/empire-biscuit-new-york#hrid:Skml0uIOS2DxRe80Z49WFA

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that, 4:43 (right before me). I needed that laugh.

Giovanni said...

I needed a good laugh, so I checked out the Empire Biscuit reviews on Yelp, where almost all the positive reviews are obviously fake, new accounts with one review, no profile pic, and so over the top they are ridiculous. And then there are the real reviews. And they are hilarious. Some choice quotes:

The Sausage McMuffin

I was super excited to go to Empire. I was envisioning a big platter of buttery biscuits with gravy and sausage. What I got was closer to a Sausage McMuffin. It was a decent biscuit, but not for $6. It was dry and crumbly instead of soft and flaky. I've had a lot better biscuits from a can of Grands.

The Burnt Chicken

Wifes chicken was burnt and dry. Biscuit was over done, dense, dry, and crumbly.

My bacon egg cheddar came without the cheddar. The egg yolk was a puddle on the bottom of the bag, so no distribution. Went up to counter with my biscuit and asked about the cheese. The girl asked if I wanted a new one or just cheese on top, I looked back at the line and politely said cheese on top. She plopped a huge amount of COLD cheddar chunks onto my room temp half eaten sandwich. Uh....yeah, bad move.

The Dry Taste of Disappointment

Flaky. Buttery. Melt in your mouth biscuits. Moist, fresh and warm from the oven.
These are all words that describe what a great biscuit should be. Empire Biscuit has none of these qualities. I arrived, brimming with hope but after it was over, I left with a dry taste of disappointment.

The gravy is harder to find than Waldo:

Take the biscuits and gravy. Most of you, when you hear "biscuits and gravy," imagine a split biscuit slathered in gravy. Not so here: there was a niggardly portion between the two halves that wasn't enough to counteract the inherent dryness of the biscuit. A fig and bacon butter biscuit was also okay but served closed-face, rather than open-faced; it seemed under-slathered as well.

And finally...the Yuck, WTF moment we've all been waiting for:

My co worker sent me a link for Empire biscuit since he knows me and my inner fat girl very well. Once I looked at the menu and saw "Scotch Egg with Cheddar and Whole Grain Mustard" and "Spiced Fried Chicken, Pickled Carrots, Sauce a l'Orange" I knew immediately that they were trying to hard to be different and it wasn't going to be up to par.  I ignored my gut and went anyways.  

We trekked from midtown to alphabet city. I couldn't order the southern style biscuit because it has pork lard in it ( I don't eat pork). I ordered the all butter biscuit spiced fried chicken sandwich with a sweet tea.

YUCK!!!!!!!! WTF!

Biscuit = crumbly salty and dry
Spiced Chicken = tasted like it had Indian spices in it which did not go well with the pickled carrots and the sauce a l'orange or the damn salty ass biscuit.
Pickled Carrots/Sauce = nasty especially on a biscuit.

Just what I freaking thought!!!  

Hipsters.... Yeah i'm talking to you.  PLEASE stop opening restaurants trying to be cool and different but falling short on taste.  I'm truly sick of all these trendy or gimmicky places where you spend $13.06 for a damn biscuit sandwich and a iced tea and all you end up doing is eating the biscuit only because the rest of it tastes terrible.

Note: most of these reviews were posted yesterday, in other words, they're much fresher than the biscuits you'll be eating at Empire.

Read it and weep through your laughter here:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/empire-biscuit-new-york

Big Brother said...

And let's not forget to mention the 5 star review by the guy who admitted he's never stepped foot in the place but, since EMMpire Biscuit is run by a friend of a friend, he'll give it 5 stars.

All. Tools. No. Box.

(Great comment as always Giovanni!)

Anonymous said...

That comment from a friend of a friend of friend has been filtered. Copied and pasted below, if you don't feel like typing or understand the Captcha words.

"Hey folks, Lonny here. Can't wait to get back to NY from the Coast with the Most (Kardashians, that is) and check this spot out. It can be pretty hard to judge restaurants before you've witnessed the whole shebang-- but hey, if there's anyone who can, it's me. My job in LA has me making pretty big decisions about TV shows all the time, so why not a restaurant? Also this girl from my high school Emily D-S apparently knows the people who opened this so it's got to be good. My friends Lukas and Robbie just moved nearby too so it's a perfect set up for some homAH dining.

I rate Empire Biscuit a "5/5" and I gave the Red Wedding episode of GoT a 4.2. (Let me say it for the record: Lonny doesn't inflate. I went to Mich and big blue doesn't play like that. The average in my accounting class sophomore year was like a 77). Really excited to bite into those succulent morsels. Wonder what kind of Sauce they're gonna throw at me. Blue Cheese? Ranch? I might have to move up my LAX-JFK and tell the boss there's a family emergency--this time it'll be "Sasha's acid reflux is working up again". Classic.

Cheers,
LON to the KNEE
"

And the other 5-star review from friends and friends of friends should also be filtered. But they probably bought ads or paid Yelp.

Being from the South, they should know humility.

Anonymous said...

That Gothamist post, wasn't there a FTC rule where "The FTC can fine both the blogger and the company for not disclosing an arrangement where the company compensates the blogger for a review, positive mention, or sponsored post."
http://ftc.gov/os/2009/10/091005revisedendorsementguides.pdf

Billsville said...

Empire Biscuit closes, again! I stopped by this afternoon for lunch and there was another note in the window saying that due to all the high demand they had to close today from 1-6pm, and they are still trying to work on getting enough supplies to stay open 24x7. Forget about the saying that theres no free lunch, there's no lunch at all today at Empire Biscuit. And they can hardly call it an Empire if they can't even keep the doors open for more than a few hours at a time. Anyway I had a felafel at Mahmoun's for $2.50, delicious, and in spite of the constant demand they never seem to run out of anything.

Anonymous said...

Billsville, Thanks for your update. Crazy, isn't it?

I know it's juvenile but I do love watching this comedy of errors. If it weren't for their hubris I wouldn't care so much.

Anonymous said...

They still had the "we are closed from 1-6" notice on their website when I looked at it around 10:30pm last night.

Anonymous said...

Quote just now from their site (http://empirebiscuit.com/):

"We will be open today (11/10) at 8AM to 5PM.
We will be closed on Monday (11/11).
We expect to be serving biscuits around the clock by Monday the 18th."

So they need yet ANOTHER week to be fully operational. Amazing.

Giovanni said...

Empire Biscuit Now Pissing Off Loyal Customers

How Empire Biscuit even has any loyal customers at this point is a mystery, given that they open and close more often than a goldfish's mouth, and they just opened less than two weeks ago. But even their loyal customers (that would be anyone who has eaten there more than once) are already complaining about their erratic business hours. Says Andrew on Facebook:

"I have to say, I'm pretty disappointed. we checked your hours this morning and all looked good. then made the trip only to find you closed. and a posting about 30 min prior to closing. what a waste of time. I've thoroughly enjoyed your food, but some notice would be nice for those of us that don't live in the neighborhood."

(Don't tell Andrew but Empire Bisquit just announced they will also be closed all day Monday.)

This Facebook complaint proves the point that many have made here that the people lining up for overpriced biscuits cannot possibly be native to the East Village. Foie Gras butter is so Upper East Side.

Sooner or later they will need to revisit their 24 hour a day model, and realize that the kind of people coming into your store at 5AM on a weekday are probably not the best demo to cater to, drunk or not.

And how do you operate a business and not list a phone number on Facebook? On their Facebook business page it says "Suggest a phone number" where the phone number is supposed to go. I guess they plan on using FB, twitter and Instagram to handle all their customer communications. Perhaps someone should tell them about Skype?

Anonymous said...

Their "phone number" or the way to contact them is via smoke signals, coming from hot air, since they're full of it.

Giovanni said...

A national day of Grieving begins today as it's both Veterans Day AND Empire Biscuit is closed, AGAIN, ahem, to supposedly "finish some carpentry projects" according to their twitter feed.

Empire plans to reopen tomorrow, but only until 2AM for you late night drunks. Then they plan to keep out sending smoke signals via Facebook to inform their fans when it is safe for them to leave their gold encrusted town homes and multi-level energy-saver condos to venture below 14th Street to get back Empire food line.

To help weather the great Biscuit Blackout, biscuit fans everywhere will need to just bake their own, since biscuits apparently are available nowhere else these days. Here's the Betty Crocker Gold Medal® Classic Biscuits Recipe to get you through the day. Enjoy!

Ingredients

2 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shortening, butter or margarine
3/4 cup milk

Toppings: Anything your little heart desires

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/gold-medal-classic-biscuits/

Anonymous said...

What they need in that place if maybe some Asian maids to work there to get the "biscuits" hot, luscious and succulent.
http://gothamist.com/2013/11/11/she_just_took_my_empty.php
I don't think they could possibly be any more offensive.

Laura Goggin Photography said...

The suspense is killing me...are they open today??

Giovanni said...

In major gastrointestinal news, Empire Biscuit dramatically reopened their doors for business today to hordes of hungry New Yorkers, most of whom were apparently unable to convince any other restaurant or bodega in the Tri-State area to sell them any food.

But the dream of a 24 hour biscuit empire remains on hold as Empire Biscuit will only remain open until 2AM, or until their limited supply of lard runs out.

This news was confirmed via twitter: "We are open! Come see us. We plan to close at 2:00 AM today. #lardlove"

Apparently the lines are all the way back to Coney Island, with several hungry fans having to ride the Cyclone endlessly until enough space in Brooklyn opens up for them to stand on line. So hop the train and get on line before North America runs out of all purpose flour and baking powder, because this time supplies just might run out for good.

Anonymous said...

I like what is ON the biscuits. The chicken, to me is great as is the excellent ham, BUT the biscuits are so inconsistent and the packaging is the WORST. STOP putting the biscuits in those nasty envelopes and put them on a GODDAMN plate.