What to do with the Vegan Bowery Burger

A friend recently made me aware of the existence of the Vegan Bowery Burger at Whole Foods. (I realize these things aren't new...just new to me.) So, for the sake of investigative journalism, I went over to Whole Foods on Houston and Bowery to check them out. (And are these just specific to this location? Are there, say, Union Square Burgers at the 14th Street location.) To my good fortune, they were in stock at the deli counter. They go for $7.99 a pound. I've never ordered veggie burgers by the pound. So I asked for three. To my amazement, they came to $7.99. (So next time someone asks me how much a pound weighs...)



I'm not much of a foodie. The burgers tasted pretty good (couldn't even detect the mustard powder), though I recommend that you eat them with heaping piles of cheese and bacon.

Now! To more important matters. How to market the Vegan Bowery Burger!

First! We need some 1970s-style Bowery street cred... Gabba gabba yum!



...some hotties in Bowery wear... Let me see that fake beef!



We have your Vegan Bowery Burger bitches!



And a celebrity spokesperson....

Beep, beep! Delivery for Mr. Moby!



Then we'll raise the price to $17.99 a pound. See you at DBGB, suckers!