Saturday, August 25, 2012

Tomorrow is NYU Freshman Move-In Day

Tomorrow, NYU welcomes nearly 4,000 new students during the school's official Freshman Move-In Day. For the new students and parents, this means a day of great excitement and stress. For you, well, tomorrow may not be the best day to, say, finally decide to rent a car and run errands, like drive to P.C. Richard on East 14th St. to buy that new air conditioner you've been talking about all summer.

Meanwhile, at other NYU residences, some students are already moving in, such as here on the Bowery at East Second Street...

Anyway, please be on your best behavior tomorrow. Any encouragement, words of wisdom, neighborly advice, etc., to pass along ...?


Anonymous said...

Fresh meat... Fresh meat...

Big Brother said...

Remember when it used to mean something to go to NYU, before it became a punchline to every joke?

Axis of Eville said...

Nice, I completed my ev to ev move today, of course there is an nyu dorm on my block

Anonymous said...

Good luck to all of the new incoming NYU freshmen! Such an exciting time in their lives....hope they study hard, learn a lot, make new friendships and take full advantage of all that NYC has to offer! Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

I would tell them that not all college students have to be fratty douchebags. Buck the trend! Be respectful of the neighborhood and appreciative to live in such a vibrant community.

Anonymous said...

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark...


Just like Anon 1:55, I too will place my hand over my heart, stare into the heavens and proclaim!

Come my orange spray tanned children,
Follow well in order, get your weapons of beauty ready,
Have you your manis? have you your pedis?
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

OMG dump your IKEA here,
We must march my darlings, to Murray Hill in flip flops, to Kips Bay
Your fellow nasally-impared kind, all the rest on us depend,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

O you youths, from Paramus and Wyckoff,
So impatient, heavy sighs, texting and frienemies,
Plain I see you Jersey youths, see you blocking the sidewalks,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

O you from Long Island, Staten Island, Have the locals lost their edge?
Do they droop eating macro, vegan, wearied over the added MSG?
Fear not, The 13th Step, Superdive, Now is our time
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

The Jersey Shore we leave behind,
We dump upon a newer mightier world, Manhattan,
Fresh and strong the world we seize, reducing it to our base level,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

With Louis, Prada and Kate,
Down through the villages, east and west, up to Chelsea,
Woo-Hooing, blackout drunk, dead in the dumpsters
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

We destroy local economies,
We blot out anything unique, it's our immediate needs that matter,
We the JC Penney shopping, the TJ Maxx exploring,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

Fauxhemian men are we,
From the suburbs, from the supermalls and the tattoo parlors,
From the parents basement, to Williamsburg we come,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

From Boston and Oklahoma,
Sheltered we are, and narcissistic, with the worldliness of a clam
Thick black glasses, lumberjack flannels, there is safety in numbers
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

O simple simple minds!
O brunt of everyones joke! O how we mock you all!
O like cliches, like clowns, you entertain,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

You've made your point, you have no point,
An epic victory or a Red Bull high
You own this city, it wasn't yours for the taking
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

See my adult children, resolute adult children,
The locals with torches, just ignore them,
Ignorance is bliss, bury your faces in your iPhones,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

On and on the size 1 sisters,
With only one shoe, with vomit on your jacket,
You fought the battle, beer pong, date rape,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

O don't die on us now!
You on the cover of the New York Post? has your time come?
Through the bouncers hands around your throat, your life passes.
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

Has the night ended too soon? The cocaine run out?
The morning sun highlighting your walk of shame
Sweating and chilly, it finally hits you
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

With the sound of a taxi honking,
As you cross the Brooklyn Bridge! how loud and clear the message is,
Quick! back to the loft! your 20 roommates say--we do it all again tomorrow,
Transient Pioneers! O Transient pioneers!

Scooby said...

@ NOTORIOUS - my hat's off to you.... Absolutley BRILLIANT!! (unfortunately every line is accurate to a T). Thank you

JM said...

Wow, Notorious. That is one fine piece of work.

LaMuzz said...

Notorious LIB has a point, except forgot to add that texting while walking is dangerous for one's neighbors, and date rape actually occurs, and isn't something to kid around about...

Anonymous said...

Leave New Jersey out of this. It worked for William Carlos Williams...

Anonymous said...

I'm going to buck the trend here and say that not only was that "poem" painfully embarrassing to read and dripping with self assured pretension and contrivance, I am actually appalled that a date rape joke was thrown in with the absurd implication that someone who goes out to have fun perhaps had it

You sound extremely sad and bitter that people go out and have fun somewhat obnoxiously the way everyone throughout history has, like it or not, including presumably you if you are part of the older generation who lives here


I don't recall joking about date rape. The crime "references" were from NY Post covers. References are not jokes.

And anon 12:52, I'm 36, not sure if that counts as an "older generation" but old enough to see how awful these people are as they trample over the neighborhood on the weekends like drunken buffoons.

glamma said...

THE NOTORIOUS L.I.B.E.R.A.T.I.O.N. for president!

No one group has destroyed the integrity of NYC more than these horrible little NYU monsters.

Go play in traffic, brats!

Anonymous said...

Neighborhoods change, whether we want them to or not, and none of us are exactly guilt-free when it comes to gentrification. You want it the way it was when you first moved here. So did the people that lived here when you moved in. And you've enjoyed the artisan cheeses or else you wouldn't feel so culturally superior to the kids from New Jersey (which some of you were) moving in every September. The market rules the city, and you know that really, and for a lot of you the market has been kind and for a lot of you the market has been rough but your concerns really are so intrinsically privelidged that that can be at time hard to stomach. But I'm a romantic, and just as guilty as you in wanting it the way it was. The art was better, the music was better, and we were lucky in our marginality. Don't let this define you.