Thursday, June 8, 2017

Urban Etiquette Sign of the week



@EdenBrower spotted these signs last evening on Ludlow Street...

HEY, YOU BIKE-STEALING PIECE OF STINKING CRAP!!!

If you stole my bike, and my child's bike, to ride them, I hope you crash into a brick wall and have chronic pain to go with your festering insides.

If you stole our bikes to sell, I hope you develop scabby painful bits all over your body and never get a moment of rest, ever. I HOPE SOMEONE YOU LOVE CRIES EVERY DAY.

Those were OUR bikes, not yours, they were our primary transport and I bought them with money I earned. Get a job, you thieving sack of shit.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love the note, although still a bit mild. Hope they get their bikes back.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate the good grammar and also the lamination. This person is not fooling around. I too hope the bikes are recovered.

JQ LLC said...

Eloquent. She should have included pictures of the bikes though.

A lot of bike thievery has been happening lately too. There has to be a lojack device or whatever the shitibikes have for location and recovery, because those are the only bikes the NYPD bothers to find if their stolen (although those bikes are so lame and stupid looking, they are not worth stealing)

Anonymous said...

Aside from gypsy lady cursing I really like how they ended on what has the potential to be a new classic "thieving sack of shit".

Anonymous said...

Meh. Sorry about the bikes but this not only accomplishes nothing but someone with a black enough heart to steal a kid's bike isn't going to be in the least bit pained by your hurt feelings, just the opposite in fact.

You know, like when you protest Wall Street or some shit. They know they stole your money. They don't care.

Anonymous said...

The thief probably doesn't live in the neighborhood and will never see the sign. But we all agree with the sentiment.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is some note. Good for them.

Eden Bee said...

NOTED.

Anonymous said...

My insides are always festering. Stupid acid re-flux.

Bike Thief said...

As a bike thief, I can tell you that I /do/ have a job. It's stealing bikes. I sell them to local bike shop owners, helping to keep them in business.

Anonymous said...

Dash over to your local bike shop and see if you can spot the parts.

Anonymous said...

Here's an idea: STORE YOUR BIKES IN YOUR HOUSE.

There are these things called wall-mounted bike racks: try them sometime.

Here's another idea if you insist on keeping your bike outside on the street:

Put at least four locks on your bike. I guarantee you a bike thief isn't gonna
attempt to break all of them.

I'm shocked no one has invented a bike theft alarm yet.

Anonymous said...

Bellyache of the heart over here !

Anonymous said...

(a) There are bicycle alarms and locator devices -- many different iterations. Probably not worth attaching them to a $100 bike. (b) At some point, you will all come to grips with the notion that stealing someone's bike is no different than "tagging" their front door. Taking property is taking property.

les native said...

This has happened to me 100 times growing up here but I can't help but laugh at this guys pain for being so surprised.

Giovanni said...

And to think this used to be such a nice safe neighborhood. But that was back when only Native Americans lived here.

Anonymous said...

I see what you did there!

Anonymous said...

Some of you people. I hope the next time you are wronged, and express righteous indignation, some annoying little twit is there to poke pointless holes in your testimony, and to go "meh, you had it coming" or whatever.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your comments!
The photos of the bikes were posted on the reverse of the 'gypsy lady cursing' sign. Someone souvenired the photo, it's back up now.

The bikes were locked with two locks each, approximately $400.00 worth of Krypto and Abus product.

As for the person who suggested (none too nicely) that we keep our bicycles inside our 240sf apartment, or hang them from the drywall ceiling or wall...
Perhaps we can move in with you, sounds like you've got space.

Warmest seasonal regards,
xo
'she who walks to work whilst gypsy cursing'

JQ LLC said...

8:25 PM

I am bit disturbed that this woman used quality locks and still got robbed.

Thanks for taking my advice, I am in the city every weekday. I will keep a look out. Although those bikes are pretty much gone, although it's a slight chance they will wind up in bikes by George. More likely the fiend probably sold them already.

Try to find a way to keep your bikes inside. The city is not as safe as the commissioner and the dumb ass mayor says it is.

Anonymous said...

My sentiments exactly