Based on my limited understanding of SantaSpeak I have managed to decipher the true meaning of the SantaCon announcement (the sentences that are not in ALL CAPS)
SANTACON NYC WILL HAPPEN DEC 12, 2015 Once again we didn't bother to get a permit, and there's nothing the city can do about it. #Ha!
TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED AND WHITE Not to mention green, as in the color of our vomit and all the money we spend at your crappy little bars.
THE ELVES & I HAVE BEEN TINKERIN’ IN DA TOYSHOP, We have come up with a new concept guaranteed to piss off everyone within a 20 mile radius of the East Village.
WE’RE COOKIN’ UP SOMETHING BRAND NEW THIS YEAR. It's gonna be huuuge, but in order to get away with it and to avoid arrest we won't even tell you about it until a few hours before this illegal event.
INFO FOR RUDOLPH’S RED RAGER We admit it, this is just a giant drunkfest for Bros and their Sorostitutes who like posting Drunkies on Instagram while ruining countless small children's image of Santa Claus.
AND HOW TO DONATE TO THIS YEAR’S CAUSES These causes include street brawling, taxi wrestling, elf groping, and drinking as much as humanly possible while leaving as few tips as humanly possible.
WILL WILL BE UPDATED ON THIS SITE SOON. See you in 39 days, suckers!
"who cares? it's just halloween with everyone wearing the same costume."
I don't recall a "drunken" Halloween in 30 years, to compare these events is ridiculous. There was a time when the cops cracked heads for being a drunken asshole in public, now its a feature of the LES nightlife even if it starts at 10 AM.
Another reason the SC participants have lawyers or at least their daddies do. City officials don't want to bring anymore attention to this since arrested college kids (white, sorry but mostly true) would hurt the image of the Taylor Swift New York that the world has fallen in love with.
@10:42 Actually, they care a lot. Many elected officials fought Santacon off last year because they didn't want this shit show in their neighborhoods. It's going to be harder for Costume Jim AKA Jim Glaser to avoid the blow back this year now that everyone knows he and Kostume Kult are the organizers of Santacon.
I agree with one of the commenters. Getting the fuck out of dodge is correct. Santa con is like Halloween with colder temperatures with everyone wearing the same costumes. I absolutely abhor this event. How or why did the EV turn into an arena for stupidity, drunkenness and bro ness? I don't get it.
- Show up to a pro-Santacon bar thirty strong, introduce yourself to the manager as a group, and tell him you plan to spend $40 a head on drinks and food (if any food) for $1200 total plus a $240 tip for $1440 total on one party.
- If there are three Santa Con Santas in the bar, tell the manager the group walks if he doesn't make three SCS to leave.
$1200 tab plus $240 tip from one fun but civilized party vs. maybe $100 plus $10-15 tip from three loud, obnoxious, beer nursing dickheads. You decide, bar manager.
Do this in every Santa Con bar and the culture changes.
NYPD: Please treat Santacon "revelers" just the same as you treated Occupy Wall St. protesters. That will solve the problem very nicely, from an E. Village POV.
Why do people feel the need to attack Taylor Swift all the time? My kid loves Taylor Swift. I've heard her music and I think it's good. She has nothing to do with SantaCon. What next, attack LL Bean?
Leave it to the bros who manage to destroy this event every year. Obnoxious, entitled, privileged, oblivious duche bags who believes the world owes them something. No thanks. I will visit loved ones out of town on that weekend for sure.
SantaCon used to be a small, cool gathering g of about 100 people, mostly locals. Everyone had very creative homemade costumes-- not just Santas, but all kinds of different creatures. We drank, but we were respectful, and it was really fun. Like everything else in downtown Manhattan, it was taken over and destroyed by frat boy culture.
You don't recall a drunken Halloween in 30 years? Did you hibernate through Saturday?
My first NYC halloween was in 1982 in the Village and it was mostly a random parade of very clever costumes (all home made) and some really good drag queens. It was more of a art parade than a reason to get drunk, vomit and act like an asshole. Sure some people may have gotten drunk but those people were alway drunk. The parade is today a corporate sponsored over the top shit show made for tourist like everything else in our city. Santa Con even if it was born out of good intentions it is just another money grab by some asshole bar owners who could care less about the neighborhood and by the looks of it the very drunk Santas that get blind each year.
If the local politicians would investigate the organizers of SantaCon, they were quickly find out that there's some kind of connection between the organizers and the bars in the East Village that always magically seem to be on the SantaCon bar list. This is a giant moneymaking scam that would make Bernie Madoff proud.
Whoever is planning Santacon is indeed putting a scam over on the city.
The "original" event is a needless bother and should be boycotted. Unfortunately some police are gonna have to go on overtime to watch the area around the sponsoring bars, but hopefully that will limit the impact of it.
Meanwhile, local activists should plan a competing event for the morning/midafternoon that day... a pleasant holiday walk... no drunkards welcome! That would be a much better use of public space.
@Brian Van: Why should I have to spend my morning & afternoon engaging in a "competing event ... a pleasant holiday walk" when policing unpermitted (illegal) activities is the province of the NYPD? What am I paying taxes for? And who in their right mind would want to spend a day walking around all those drunks?
I personally hope that day is cold, windy & rainy.
I have to reluctantly agree with Anon @ 4:40PM but for different reasons. If we're all going to agree that the definition of 'prostitute' is a woman that exchanges sex for money, then it would be inaccurate to refer to these college/sorority girls as prostitutes; I can assure you that most of these girls give it away for free.
That said, there's nothing inherently misogynistic about calling a woman a prostitute, considering the fact that any sensible woman would be a fool to give over the goods without some promise of resources, whether in terms of time or money. Let's not pretend otherwise. This is the East Village. We can take RealTalk on the chin. Right? Or doesn't it occur to you that associating 'prostitute' with "degrading" is the misogyny? It's her body, so it's her choice, except when certain exalted people say otherwise, apparently. Take it up with Nature if it offends you.
And which one of these knuckleheads suggested that the answer to SantaCon was to participate and act responsibly? We're already setting the example by staying home and refusing to justify this nonsense.
Doucheoisie isn't bad, actually. Actually, I change my mind. I find it degrading to men who have to be associated with a feminine discharge product.
Here is my suggestion for Eastvillagers on Santacon day. Take the M15 and head up north to the sleepy suburb of Kips Bay, maybe get a coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, catch a movie at the Loews, then afterwards do some grocery shopping at the Fairway. It's a nice little getaway.
There is no law against putting on a Santa suit and having a few drinks. There are plenty of laws however against public urination, fighting, and other public disturbances. Those individuals should be dealt with accordingly. There is also something called prior restraint, which has been ruled unconstitutional by the supreme court, and is the reason you cannot simply ban a group of people from doing things based on a percentage of them causing problems. Additionally, putting on a costume is protected by the 1st amendment. Otherwise you would not see Norm Siegel giving press conferences.
32 comments:
Based on my limited understanding of SantaSpeak I have managed to decipher the true meaning of the SantaCon announcement (the sentences that are not in ALL CAPS)
SANTACON NYC WILL HAPPEN DEC 12, 2015
Once again we didn't bother to get a permit, and there's nothing the city can do about it. #Ha!
TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED AND WHITE
Not to mention green, as in the color of our vomit and all the money we spend at your crappy little bars.
THE ELVES & I HAVE BEEN TINKERIN’ IN DA TOYSHOP,
We have come up with a new concept guaranteed to piss off everyone within a 20 mile radius of the East Village.
WE’RE COOKIN’ UP SOMETHING BRAND NEW THIS YEAR.
It's gonna be huuuge, but in order to get away with it and to avoid arrest we won't even tell you about it until a few hours before this illegal event.
INFO FOR RUDOLPH’S RED RAGER
We admit it, this is just a giant drunkfest for Bros and their Sorostitutes who like posting Drunkies on Instagram while ruining countless small children's image of Santa Claus.
AND HOW TO DONATE TO THIS YEAR’S CAUSES
These causes include street brawling, taxi wrestling, elf groping, and drinking as much as humanly possible while leaving as few tips as humanly possible.
WILL WILL BE UPDATED ON THIS SITE SOON.
See you in 39 days, suckers!
Fuck Kostume Kult.
Giovanni should work for a spy agency, he nailed that code in no time.
How about everyone make a naughty list of all the bars that sell to these assholes and then make it public.
It's not time to paint the town red and white. It is time to get the fuck out of dodge for the weekend until the madness is gone.
HELLOOO, ELECTEDS AND POLICE??!!!
Do something already!
Elected officials couldn't care less about SantaCon. Have you ever heard them decry it?
who cares? it's just halloween with everyone wearing the same costume.
"who cares? it's just halloween with everyone wearing the same costume."
I don't recall a "drunken" Halloween in 30 years, to compare these events is ridiculous. There was a time when the cops cracked heads for being a drunken asshole in public, now its a feature of the LES nightlife even if it starts at 10 AM.
Another reason the SC participants have lawyers or at least their daddies do. City officials don't want to bring anymore attention to this since arrested college kids (white, sorry but mostly true) would hurt the image of the Taylor Swift New York that the world has fallen in love with.
@10:42 Actually, they care a lot. Many elected officials fought Santacon off last year because they didn't want this shit show in their neighborhoods. It's going to be harder for Costume Jim AKA Jim Glaser to avoid the blow back this year now that everyone knows he and Kostume Kult are the organizers of Santacon.
I agree with one of the commenters. Getting the fuck out of dodge is correct. Santa con is like Halloween with colder temperatures with everyone wearing the same costumes. I absolutely abhor this event. How or why did the EV turn into an arena for stupidity, drunkenness and bro ness? I don't get it.
Instead of whining about it, I suggest people dress up as Santa on that day and go out and behave properly. Be the change you want to see.
What about an Anti-Santacon like this?
- Show up to a pro-Santacon bar thirty strong, introduce yourself to the manager as a group, and tell him you plan to spend $40 a head on drinks and food (if any food) for $1200 total plus a $240 tip for $1440 total on one party.
- If there are three Santa Con Santas in the bar, tell the manager the group walks if he doesn't make three SCS to leave.
$1200 tab plus $240 tip from one fun but civilized party vs. maybe $100 plus $10-15 tip from three loud, obnoxious, beer nursing dickheads. You decide, bar manager.
Do this in every Santa Con bar and the culture changes.
To Anyonymous 11:51am...
You don't recall a drunken Halloween in 30 years? Did you hibernate through Saturday?
NYPD: Please treat Santacon "revelers" just the same as you treated Occupy Wall St. protesters. That will solve the problem very nicely, from an E. Village POV.
Why do people feel the need to attack Taylor Swift all the time? My kid loves Taylor Swift. I've heard her music and I think it's good. She has nothing to do with SantaCon. What next, attack LL Bean?
@1:37 PM I'd rather burn my money than spend a cent of it at the festering armpit known as 13th Step.
Leave it to the bros who manage to destroy this event every year. Obnoxious, entitled, privileged, oblivious duche bags who believes the world owes them something. No thanks. I will visit loved ones out of town on that weekend for sure.
Could we please stop using the word "Sorostitutes." It seems rather misogynistic. Especially when the "Bros" don't get degraded for their sex.
"Yo Bros" and "Woo Girls" should be insult enough. Or "Douchoise."
SantaCon used to be a small, cool gathering g of about 100 people, mostly locals. Everyone had very creative homemade costumes-- not just Santas, but all kinds of different creatures. We drank, but we were respectful, and it was really fun. Like everything else in downtown Manhattan, it was taken over and destroyed by frat boy culture.
@4:40pm: Douchoise? If we have the word "bourgeoisie" maybe we should have, for these miscreant slugs, the term "doucheoisie".
@Anyonymous 11:51am...
You don't recall a drunken Halloween in 30 years? Did you hibernate through Saturday?
My first NYC halloween was in 1982 in the Village and it was mostly a random parade of very clever costumes (all home made) and some really good drag queens. It was more of a art parade than a reason to get drunk, vomit and act like an asshole. Sure some people may have gotten drunk but those people were alway drunk. The parade is today a corporate sponsored over the top shit show made for tourist like everything else in our city. Santa Con even if it was born out of good intentions it is just another money grab by some asshole bar owners who could care less about the neighborhood and by the looks of it the very drunk Santas that get blind each year.
If the local politicians would investigate the organizers of SantaCon, they were quickly find out that there's some kind of connection between the organizers and the bars in the East Village that always magically seem to be on the SantaCon bar list. This is a giant moneymaking scam that would make Bernie Madoff proud.
Whoever is planning Santacon is indeed putting a scam over on the city.
The "original" event is a needless bother and should be boycotted. Unfortunately some police are gonna have to go on overtime to watch the area around the sponsoring bars, but hopefully that will limit the impact of it.
Meanwhile, local activists should plan a competing event for the morning/midafternoon that day... a pleasant holiday walk... no drunkards welcome! That would be a much better use of public space.
@Brian Van: Why should I have to spend my morning & afternoon engaging in a "competing event ... a pleasant holiday walk" when policing unpermitted (illegal) activities is the province of the NYPD? What am I paying taxes for? And who in their right mind would want to spend a day walking around all those drunks?
I personally hope that day is cold, windy & rainy.
Gotta love the bros. They seem to own this neighborhood. :(
I have to reluctantly agree with Anon @ 4:40PM but for different reasons. If we're all going to agree that the definition of 'prostitute' is a woman that exchanges sex for money, then it would be inaccurate to refer to these college/sorority girls as prostitutes; I can assure you that most of these girls give it away for free.
That said, there's nothing inherently misogynistic about calling a woman a prostitute, considering the fact that any sensible woman would be a fool to give over the goods without some promise of resources, whether in terms of time or money. Let's not pretend otherwise. This is the East Village. We can take RealTalk on the chin. Right? Or doesn't it occur to you that associating 'prostitute' with "degrading" is the misogyny? It's her body, so it's her choice, except when certain exalted people say otherwise, apparently. Take it up with Nature if it offends you.
And which one of these knuckleheads suggested that the answer to SantaCon was to participate and act responsibly? We're already setting the example by staying home and refusing to justify this nonsense.
Doucheoisie isn't bad, actually. Actually, I change my mind. I find it degrading to men who have to be associated with a feminine discharge product.
Confused? Good.
Here is my suggestion for Eastvillagers on Santacon day. Take the M15 and head up north to the sleepy suburb of Kips Bay, maybe get a coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, catch a movie at the Loews, then afterwards do some grocery shopping at the Fairway. It's a nice little getaway.
12:40,
Says something about the current state of the east village when we escape to murray hill to avoid the bro filled shit show....
Afterwards?! There IS no afterwards! These identity concealed alcoholics go from 10AM to 4AM the next day.
Sure it will be a big turn out for the likes of Phi Lama Poo and all Ho Ho .....
There is no law against putting on a Santa suit and having a few drinks. There are plenty of laws however against public urination, fighting, and other public disturbances. Those individuals should be dealt with accordingly. There is also something called prior restraint, which has been ruled unconstitutional by the supreme court, and is the reason you cannot simply ban a group of people from doing things based on a percentage of them causing problems. Additionally, putting on a costume is protected by the 1st amendment. Otherwise you would not see Norm Siegel giving press conferences.
Weekends in the East Village is a Santacon without the Santa suits.
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