Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Urban Etiquette Sign of the Year (so far)

A reader sends this along from East Second Street... presented here without commentary ...

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did not know Goldielocks has a drinking problem.

Anonymous said...

She was probably drunk and forgot that she invited him back.

Anonymous said...

Y'all, got be careful now ya hear! This is the big city, New York City, it ain't like its out there in gods country... Good old Idaho... So lock ya doors and pray...

Crazy Eddie said...

“PS everyone make sure you lock your doors at night (lesson learned)”

Like, YAH!

This post, not the closing of 7A, not the closing of Sapporo East, not the closing of Shimno, has made me truly depressed. Nothing illustrates the dormafication of the EV better than this note. Hey but look on the bright side. Lena Dunham now has an episode idea.

Anonymous said...

All jokes aside, this "girl" seems awfully nonchalant about what happened. It's not a wacky NYC sitcom episode. It could have ended very, very badly, and I am extremely glad for her that didn't, but, from one woman to another and pardon my french: Get a grip and lock your fucking door, dear.

That handwriting tells me everything I need to know about the coddled, complacent attitude of the nouveau EV residents. All it needs is hearts over the "i"s.

jeebus take the wheel

Spike said...

While some of the kids in my building are quite sweet and respectful, the majority of them leave their doors open all day long (pre-freeze that is). Been meaning to hire an "actor" to temporarily rob them blind and teach a lesson.

nygrump said...

wow, evidence flouride is very very bad for the brain increases everyday

Anonymous said...

That is weird - why wouldn't her door be locked?

Anonymous said...

It's probably from that super dorm building above Duane Reade

Anonymous said...

jeez, was no one here ever 18 and naive? let em make their mistakes,everyone gets bitter soon enough. when my girlfriend was in college here back in the 80s it was no different. lighten up!

Ken from Ken's Kitchen said...

There are a couple of ways to have handled this:

1. Learn a lesson. Wash the sheets, keep your door locked and this incident to yourself.

2. Announce to anyone passing by who can read English that you tend to forget to lock the door to apt 3.

Let's see. Decisions, decisions...

Giovanni said...

The funny thing is she taped her sign right next to another sign advising tenants to close the fromt door securely behind them. If this was an IQ test her score would be a negative number.

Anonymous said...

This kind of shit never happens on my block.

DrBOP said...

Maybe Schwimmer is having troubles figuring out which door to use.....

....ON A WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe people don't lock their doors. Lock your door and put on a chain on it! Sure, the bad old days are gone, but shit still happens here every day. You could get robbed or worse.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:48 AM
Wow. You really don't know the definition of "naive".

I can't tell which is the greater illustration of blatant stupidity; the unlocked door, or the note.
This person is going to have a very hard time in life.

Spike said...

Yes, lock your doors people! I mean, just one post below this has the harrowing story of an 81 yr old man being attacked by four scantily clad women. Even business's should lock their doors!

Anonymous said...

I enjoy how in the PS she instructs "everyone" to make sure to lock your doors!* Newsflash: Most grown-ass adults who aren't idiots already knew to do that, but thanks.

* "at night" .. so I guess leaving your door open in the daytime is still OK then!!

Glad you're safe, but maybe it's time you moved back to the suburbs.

Anonymous said...

She probably didn't notice him because this was the first time in years that a guy came in the front door.

Shawn G. Chittle said...

Where is the "don't blame the victim" crowd?

Goggla said...

Wow.

Anon 8:54 makes a good point - she is so lucky nothing worse happened.

Anonymous said...

Since when did people stop locking their doors at night here? I'm getting a bit tired of telling kids from Ohio and such to please remember this is not Disney land is New York. Their lucky they didn't live here in the 80's or 90's this city would have swallowed them whole.
Please be smart and stop treating this city like a playground.

Glad to hear nothing worse happened.

Uncle Waltie said...

This sounds like a Cooper Union / NYU "art"-project.

RocketJNYC said...

Anonymous 11:36 AM. We look our doors in the suburbs too! I live in the same house now I did when I was a kid (I'm 50 now). We even locked the doors back in the day. You have to be uber-stupid to leave your door open anywhere but Mayberry!

Anonymous said...

Agree with Uncle Waltie, it's got to be part of some "art" piece. I don't want to believe that it's real. If it is though, like the girl who's bed was slept in, I too hope that the guy enjoyed it. I also hope he went thru the panties drawer and had a good sniff. Dumb girl.

Anonymous said...

I want to know if this guy was sleeping in her bed.. where was SHE sleeping?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the more I look at it, the more I'm thinking it's a prank. Or somebody trying to besmirch "girl in Apt 3".

Anonymous said...

On closer inspection, I'm starting to think this is some sort of PR/campaign/viral bullshit. Note:

1. Handwriting is very "font-y"
2. No typos, good grammar/punctuation (that NEVER happens)
3. Concise, explains situation clearly (UrbEtiq people either tend to ramble on and on, OR write ten misspelled, sociopathically angry words)
4. Yet is not overly informative (doesn't know who slept in bed, vague signature of "girl")
5. Do kids today use 8.5 x 11" ruled notepads? Seems dubious
6. No one could possibly be this stupid, first to leave door open and then to announce it on a public sign

Is there even an Apartment 3 at this address? Because if this is some fake shit, and I lived in Apartment 3 wherever this was posted, I would be PISSED.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'll regret admitting this, but we've lived in New York for more than 25 years and never locked our doors.

In fact, I've only been broken into once, in another state, and that was when I uncharacteristically locked my door.

You disagree. Whatever. But how about cooling it on the self-righteous indignation.

Anonymous said...

No self-righteousness needed. You're simply not a very thoughtful person.
Probably drive without seat belts.

soundwave810 said...

There's 2 things that strike me odd about this situation.

1) How does she know someone slept in her bed and where the hell was she that she does know who it was? I suppose whoever came COULD HAVE have left some evidence that he or she was there. Yes, people commenting, it's possible it could've been a female neighbor. Which leads to my second point.

2) If she was elsewhere and left her place all neat and tidy (one supposes) WHY THE HELL DIDN'T she lock the door?
I mean, I'm a native born New Yorker and I've ALWAYS locked my door at night (it just makes sense) or when I go out for and extended amount of time.

Giovanni said...

Accidentally not locking your door is one thing, but not locking it on purpose, much less for 25 years in NYC is total BS. Unless both of your wrists are broken, or you are so lazy that simply turning the lock on a door is a major undertaking, you just lock your door.

I have a fully functional BS meter and right now the needle is moving off the charts and into unknown territory. Please convince me and the rest of us that you never left town in 25 years and that nothing ever got stolen? Back in the day if you left the EV for a week when you came back you'd have a house full of squatters, drug addicts, or worse, close relatives.

In Canada they don't lock their doors because they live in Canada. In Idaho they don't lock their doors because everyone owns a gun. In New York everyone locks their doors (and windows) unless they are extremely lonely or just really want to die young.

Ever wonder why some people have as many as 5 locks on their door plus a chain on the inside? Because sometimes the pizza guy delivers more than just a pizza.,

Everyone who says they don't lock their front door in NYC please post your name and address and a group of us will gladly come over at 4AM just to see if this is really true. For now I am tuning off the BS meter, the alarm on it is really giving me a headache.

Anonymous said...

I've met door-locking refusniks like 6:28 before. Always with this unspoken superiority (one might even say self-righteousness) that they trust their fellow man, unlike the rest of us bitter, paranoid door-lockers. Two words: hippie nonsense.

DrBOP said...

Geez, Giovani.......you gonna be in some serious shitstorm trouble with TONY (Thieves Of New York) when they send some boys up north of the border and discover that MOST Canadians lock their fuckin' doors.....geeeez....

Anonymous said...

Wow, fascinating responses. I live in this building and it is definitely LEGIT. The kids who take up 70% of the building's apartments are young, they think it's a dorm. The girl from #3 is really sweet and this is one of the few apartments where the tenants don't actually leave their doors WIDE open all the time. I am more confused by the shit-faced person, it's not like we live in communist Russia where all the insides of the apartments looked alike also, that's some serious black-out shit to not notice the bed's in a different place! It is a mystery to wonder how she knew/where she was - and we may never get to the bottom of it, but having actually experienced some guy trying to get into our apartment (went up a flight too many, really wasted) and took a really long time to figure out the key was never gonna fit, I can attest that this stuff really happens. Yikes! Let's give the young kid a break though, it was probably her room-mates fault the door wasn't locked anyway, since she wasn't in her bed - and she did learn the lesson. And let's not be so judgy about hand-writing, is there something wrong with nice hand writing?

Anonymous said...

The handwriting looks like that of a sorority girl who loves Lisa Frank. It's totes adorbs! OMG why am I so judgy!

Also, we KNOW that drunk-ass fools try to unlock the wrong door! So do horrible realtors and untrustworthy supers on occasion! "This stuff really happens" -- why do you kids keep telling us stuff we all already know? BTW that is not at all what happened here, according to this girl's sign.

Bottom line: Lock your doors before something bad happens (hopefully it never will, but do you really want to take that chance?). It's better to be safe than sorry. Hindsight is 20/20. etc etc

Giovanni said...

Hey Dr. Bop, if most Canadians lock their doors then please explain to me why so many of these people claim they don't lock their doors here in New York? If you don't lock your front door here, why would you lock it anywhere? Why do we even have locks? For decoration?

Anonymous said...

"Old School" Bldg (1)...woke up one night to a newbie(from upstairs) who was way drunk, and thought she was trying to open her door. Not.

"Not Student Housing Ahem" Bldg (2) ...new neighbors keep their door open when they have their paaaahtays, which necessitates some door slamming. (Theirs, and then mine.) Very effective solution.

Anonymous said...

Really? Lock your door at night? That's her lesson? You have to wonder where this woman lived before she lived here. I'm thinking....Mars?