Tuesday, November 17, 2015

The apartment where the golden rule 'is that no one else can tell anyone else to be quiet'


[Via @TimHerrera]

An East Village apartment-for-rent listing via Craigslist has been making the rounds of late. (The ad is no longer live.)

Esquire wrote about it last week in a post titled Is This the Worst NYC Apartment Listing You've Ever Seen?

Sounds promising!

Apparently the ad is for real... here are some excerpts...

"We are all in our late 20's - early 30's here in NYC to live it up, take advantage of the sweet neighborhood, and have as much fun as possible while still managing to make it to work on time!"

"We all play in bands, love live music, and entertain guests on a regular basis along with the occasional open jam session at random hours of the night."

"If you are the type of person whose main source of entertainment is sitting at home, watching Netflix on your laptop, this apartment is definitely not for you.

"The neighborhood is loud, people in the building make a ton of noise, once in while, you may even want to pop in some ear-plugs... but we love it here!! There is a drum-kit in the common room along with guitars & amplifiers, where we jam out on a regular basis, create art, and engage in stimulating conversations with other tenants in the building. If this is something you would enjoy, please join us!"

The rent is $1,325.

And the room measures 11 x 6.

Anyway, Esquire spoke with the person who takes out the for rent ad. His name is Haffro.

And here's part of the Q-and-A between Esquire and Haffro:

How big is that place? It seems pretty small from the description.

It's a four-bedroom. Actually, a three-bedroom apartment, but I moved into the utility closet. It's a pretty big closet, 6 x 5. I live in there, and I just rent out the rooms. The biggest bedroom is 12 x 11, the middle is 12 x 10, the smallest is 11 x 6. They're all fully furnished, so when people come in, I don't have them bring their own shit. The ideal roommate would be someone moving in, coming to NYC with a suitcase and a backpack. The entire place costs $3800.

What reactions have you gotten to the Craigslist ad?

We don't really get that many responses. I probably get five or six each time I repost it. You can repost it every 48 hours. When I do get a response, I have another response I cut and paste in there, and the main thing is, I'm like, "All right, I just want you to know, in our apartment I think of it like a living, breathing art space. We have one golden rule, and the one rule is that no one else can tell anyone else to be quiet."

After being told that some people think it sounds like the worst living situation ever, Haffro responds:

If you don't like live music, what do you like? What're you gonna watch, Netflix? It pisses me off. We're trying to create a creative environment; people can bring their guitars, smoke weed. It's a very progressive building. Some people will walk by and say, "I saw the door open, I heard some music, I thought I'd stop in." I mean, you know the East Village, you know the idea. It used to be very punk rock. It's not like that now, kind of boutique a little bit, fancy cocktail bars. For me, I just live at dive bars, just mop bucket, disgusting-smelling bars. Those are the places I like...

H/T @FashionByHe

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

We were here first. These people come from pigshit Wyoming and totally take over. They should be the ones to leave, not us!

Anonymous said...

As an older person commenting on EVG, here are some things I dislike, in no particular order:

1. Young rich people, who are able to rent fancy apartments.
2. Young poor people, who share tiny apartments and play punk rock too loudly. Do they even know how punk rock I used to be?
3. Young middle class people who do not live here but drink too much and lower the property value of my rent controlled 5-bedroom by screaming all night.

Anonymous said...

Haffro is really full of himself and living in a fantasy world if he thinks starving artists can afford to rent a "room" in his "artistic space". The fact that he wants to live in the EV to be part of the long dead punk music scene shows he is nothing more than a music re-inactor. The sad truth is frat boys and their female counter parts only act like idiots (drunk and rooftop raves) on weekends because they are not artist but young professionals that will grow up someday and and gasp run the world, at least they think they will.

Haffro is yet another young idiot that thinks he knows what it was like here decades before he was born and of course he could not be more wrong.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of fucking tryhards.

Playing loud music at 3:23am is so cool. Why not when Mommy and/or Daddy pay the rent so you can pay for your food and weed with a job at (insert place paying at most $13 an hour)?

Fuck this guy. Yeah, the East Village "used to be punk rock" when dipshits like you didn't charge $1325 for a ROOM and not even (11' x 6' space - is a prisoncell in Attica bigger?)

Anonymous said...

Ah, the voice of entitlement. It would make me angry if it wasn't so entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for them to go back to their 'burbs.

Anonymous said...

Even a little bit of sophistication and urban couth would do these tryhards some good.

Anonymous said...

LOL what's the beef with Netflix? This kid sounds rather militant about the right/wrong way to chillax and have a good time. Maybe that is why he is seeking out friends through a Craigslist ad. Something tells me that Haffro's little punk rock tenement utopia isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Anonymous said...

Don't really get the hate for this guy...there are way douchier people in the neighborhood. If you read the whole interview - he ain't no kid. Hats off to anyone who is almost 40 and lives in a flippin' closet.

I regularly hung out in the same kind of living situation back in the late 80s early 90s and it was awesome. It cost a lot less back then, but so did everything else. Can't do that lifestyle anymore but I'm glad people like this guy still live in the EV.

Anonymous said...

Esquire. That is all.

Shawn G. Chittle said...

Where is this apt?

Anonymous said...

This individual is a duche bag. As an East Village resident, who has resided here for five years, I take offense to his posting. I am 40, nowhere near retirement age and have no plans of ever relocating to the UES. Yes, the EV is loud, especially on weekends where I live near Ave C and 7th, alone mind you, without roommates, in a nice, renovated apartment without anyone like him telling me how to be, how to live and how to act. It is a shit show on Fri and Sat. The bros and sorority girls dominate the entire landscape with screaming, throwing up, partying on sidewalks, fighting, and pretending they own the hood. Yes, I am the one who stays in my apt and watches Netflix to avoid the noise and mayhem. Does that make me a freak or a party popper? On other nights, when most are civilized, I go out and have a social life like an adult. Who does this man thinks he is? People engaging in stimulating conversations? Come on, man. In my building, all of my neighbors barely say a hello, let alone a how are you. I don't know many places in the city where people are living in a building like Melrose Place, where most know everyone and their business, who play guitars and sing their hearts out. This is 2015, not the 60's. And, yes, when people come home, some want peace and quiet, even if it is a for a brief period. Most people in a building are either part of a family or working their asses off to pay their rent. This does not make them boring or old farts. This makes them human and real. If you're employed and work full time, rest and quiet is necessary. He illustrates an unrealistic picture and is clearly deluded. I felt compelled to respond because it gives others the impression that responsible, fair minded people like myself aren't part of the EV community nor do we belong. Bullshit!

Anonymous said...

"Where is this apt?"

On Peter Pan Avenue, of course.

Edmund Dunn said...

“Remember, this is the East Village in NYC... if you want peace and quiet, go look for a place at a retirement community somewhere in the Upper East Side"

I haven’t seen the “move to” line for some time now. Good to see that cliché douchebaggery is still alive and well in the EV. He will never be cool no matter how many countries he name drops. Keep your day job, you rube. I don’t think it’s really necessary to comment further on this so called “artist”.


Anonymous said...

Haffro will have a very hard time growing older (note that I don't say "growing up" b/c he is a case of arrested development). Netflix awaits you, haffy baby! Either that or AA.

I wonder what he'd do if the wrong sort of person walks through that open door?

Henri Cervantes said...

get a clue poseur

Anonymous said...

This guy is not a kid which probably upsets half the people on here that made the assumption that he's a trust fund yuppie. He might still be ridiculous, but the generalizations about 'kids these days' is getting old.

Haffro's pizza business:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaBoRAHVqRQ&safe=active

Anonymous said...

This is the East Village I remember, and loved!

Anonymous said...

Well he acts like a trustfunder, 4:04pm but thanks for pointing out that he owns his own business thus acts like he does because he won't be fired if he brings his free time stay up, party, and play loud music all night, sleep all day attitude and behavior to work (no boss to answer.)

Anonymous said...

Surprised he hasn't lost his lease for excessive noise.

Anonymous said...

A$$fro is living in a self-entitled, hipster fueled, pipe dream. We should find out where he lives, pass by and yell "You suck!!!" as loudly as we can when he, and his idiot compatriots "play" their "music" ...

Anonymous said...

That is exactly what I thought. I am surprised he hasn't been evicted. If I was the landlord, I would evict his sorry ass. If you're an adult, act like one. Respect other's privacy and quality of life.

Anonymous said...

the problem, and all it's entitlement, and justifying it's inability and unwillingness to share space with anyone other than someone just like it. Go away. The East Village is not the itinerant playground for surrounding universities. NYU teach your students some manners

Anonymous said...

Shameless ageism. How charming.....

Anonymous said...

...when the kiddies in my building don't respect noise limits (say, after 11 p.m.) I ask them to turn it down and suggest that since they are in the EV, they might visit one of the many bars or clubs they moved here to support. I tell them that my day starts at 5 a.m., seven days per week. It usually works...of course, by the time they get back home, around 4:30, they're screaming into cell phones in the hallways, because they've forgotten the conversation...

Sounds like these people just want roommates who are going to party and play music with them, which is fine in and of itself, I suppose; but it also sounds like they want to control who moves into their building. Perhaps they ought to buy it with their trust funds!

The neighborhood used to be so punk rock. I'm plotzing at that line.
Priceless.


Unknown said...

Wow, you people are a bunch of sad, whiny, self entitled jerks. Haffro is an awesome, fun dood who wishes no ill will on anyone. The problem is with people who move into a new building (without checking it out thoroughly before moving in) and feel you have a right to change people's lives. You have all ruined the East Village, get the fuck out of it, nobody likes you. His ad for new roommate can't be more honest and won't waste his own time, with all you yuppy shits that never are who you actually claim to be when looking at potential roommates. You don't like something, pass by it. Unless you're some shaggy liberal who feels it's your duty to change the things you don't like, go kill yourselves... for the guy/gal whose day starts at 5 am, the East Village is NOT for you or your type

Anonymous said...

I have been here for 30 years Mr DoucheBro. So F off. Sincerely... FIVE AM. not a yuppy either.

Unknown said...

Is he in your building?

Unknown said...

Are you:
A) Jealous of someone who enjoys life
B) Just an asshole
C) 11 years old
D) Only music you can play is a skin flute

Anonymous said...

I understand the EV Grieve platform demographic with the commentary, but I don't understand all of the resentment from everyone. This person is simply enabling a fun/honest experience at nobody's expense. Perhaps if all of the curmudgeons posting negativity dislike this, they shouyld relocate. You may have been here for 10, 20, or whatever years, but it matters not. It was different before you moved into the neighborhood, as well. You changed it for someone else. If you really want the neighborhood not to change, Manhattan should be evacuated and given back to the Native Americans. NYC is a dynamic city. Always has been, always will be. If you've lived here s long as you say you have, you should know that by now.

Edmund Dunn said...

"If you really want the neighborhood not to change, Manhattan should be evacuated and given back to the Native Americans. NYC is a dynamic city. Always has been, always will be."

Now we have the “move to” plus the “NYC is always changing” line plus the ”Indian” line all in one post. A triplex douchearama.

Jeremiah Moss at his Vanishing NY blog, his FB page and his various Op-Ed pieces in the NY Daily News and the NY Times has eviscerated this REBNY BS time after time again.

Paul Krugman's 11/30/2015 NY Times Op-Ed, “Inequality and the City”, has a really good post that is listed in the "Reader's Picks" section that says it all.

New York City is simply following the global millionaire model best emulated by Middle Eastern millionaire meccas like Doha, Qatar and Abu Dhabi and Dubai of the United Arab Emirates. In those Middle Eastern cities, the tallest and most gleaming mirrored skyscrapers rise in record fashion to produce a stunning vision of modern opulence and wealth, but behind the landscape are armies of migrant workers doing 99% of the work under extreme working conditions who often incur large debts just for the opportunity to work abroad and who are bused in daily from deplorable worker cities and de facto internment camps located hours away from their indentured servitude. New York won't ever quite reach the level of economic and social exploitation demonstrated by our Middle Eastern billionaire and millionaire friends because America has not completely disregarded humanity....yet. Mayor Michael Bloomberg said on his weekly radio program in 2013, shortly before leaving office: “If we could get every billionaire around the world to move here, it would be a godsend.” Bloomberg's trickle-down billionaire strategy has been fully implemented and wealthy foreigner billionaires have helped move working class residents out of New York City and out of sight. And many of these billionaire nonresidents pay no city income taxes and often receive hefty property tax breaks and abatements to add 0.1% insult to 99.9% injury.
http://goo.gl/BqV7uX
Remember the billionaire creed: "it's never enough !"

Anonymous said...

@ Edmund Dunn

Even if the billionaire creed is "it's never enough !", it doesn't apply here. This is a 40 year old man living in a closet. Not sure why you feel so threatened by that. Perhaps you have other issues with which to deal. One being your creed: "no complaining is ever enough"