In Tompkins Square Park this afternoon… The fellows told EVG contributor Derek Berg that they had nothing to do with SantaCon, which is next Santarday … Gotta be careful to be a Santa around here apparently...
It's really sad when the senior SantaConners show up a whole week too early for their favorite pub crawl. Will someone please tell them to go back to the facility, the party doesn't begin until NEXT SATURDAY.
I have little doubt that next weekend there will be a new Silver Alert every 5 minutes about a Senior Santa who was spotted leaving assisted care in a stolen Santa outfit, last seen heading south towards the East Village in a bright red wheelchair with flashing lights.
At least they won't have to buy one of those fake beards at Ricky's since they can just use the years of excessive white facial hair growth that they already have.
So everyone over 55, PLEASE REMEMBER to rest up, take your meds, write your name and address on a 3x5 card in case you forget them, and see you next week at Senior Santa. That's right, it's NEXT WEEK, NOT THIS WEEK. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???
Saw Posadas y Pastorelas holiday procession at Fist Avenue this afternoon with a police car and policemen escorts. And they were only about a hundred of them. But on SantaCon, the cops are nowhere to be found. Will poh-lees be escorting the mostly white attendees when they come to Tompkins Square Park and walk through Brooklyn Bridge. Most likely not.
Also, saw some giggling-gaggling girls with Santa hats brunching today in those usual brunching spots at St. Mark's Pl. and immediately thought, shit Santacon, maybe I got the dates wrong and went into an anxiety and panic attack. Turns out they're just from the New York Road Runners after the Jingle Run. I guess I'll save the Xanax and Ativan for next week.
When I was a wee young thing. Which was about 20 years a ago. Our idea of fun was so different... I mean I truely feel so sorry for these kids that think cool, and original is this cookie cutter bullshit... Fuck, sometimes I look at these kids and think... Really, woo-hooing is the extent of their cool pre-marriage and kids... Lol, the mid-life emo crap these kids will pull will be laughable...
Here is a dilemma: two invites for next Saturday, one in the W. Village and the other in (woooo) Williamsburg. Both old friends who seem to have no idea of the Santa-bro-con-hell one must endure in order to attend said events. (What to do? Don me now some elfin apparel or sleep the invites off?)
7 comments:
It's really sad when the senior SantaConners show up a whole week too early for their favorite pub crawl. Will someone please tell them to go back to the facility, the party doesn't begin until NEXT SATURDAY.
I have little doubt that next weekend there will be a new Silver Alert every 5 minutes about a Senior Santa who was spotted leaving assisted care in a stolen Santa outfit, last seen heading south towards the East Village in a bright red wheelchair with flashing lights.
At least they won't have to buy one of those fake beards at Ricky's since they can just use the years of excessive white facial hair growth that they already have.
So everyone over 55, PLEASE REMEMBER to rest up, take your meds, write your name and address on a 3x5 card in case you forget them, and see you next week at Senior Santa. That's right, it's NEXT WEEK, NOT THIS WEEK. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???
Saw Posadas y Pastorelas holiday procession at Fist Avenue this afternoon with a police car and policemen escorts. And they were only about a hundred of them. But on SantaCon, the cops are nowhere to be found. Will poh-lees be escorting the mostly white attendees when they come to Tompkins Square Park and walk through Brooklyn Bridge. Most likely not.
Also, saw some giggling-gaggling girls with Santa hats brunching today in those usual brunching spots at St. Mark's Pl. and immediately thought, shit Santacon, maybe I got the dates wrong and went into an anxiety and panic attack. Turns out they're just from the New York Road Runners after the Jingle Run. I guess I'll save the Xanax and Ativan for next week.
When I was a wee young thing. Which was about 20 years a ago. Our idea of fun was so different... I mean I truely feel so sorry for these kids that think cool, and original is this cookie cutter bullshit... Fuck, sometimes I look at these kids and think... Really, woo-hooing is the extent of their cool pre-marriage and kids... Lol, the mid-life emo crap these kids will pull will be laughable...
Where did they learn to woo-hoo? Did they do that in sex and the city or on gossip girl or something?
Here is a dilemma: two invites for next Saturday, one in the W. Village and the other in (woooo) Williamsburg. Both old friends who seem to have no idea of the Santa-bro-con-hell one must endure in order to attend said events. (What to do? Don me now some elfin apparel or sleep the invites off?)
@ anon 6:19
Sounds like a question for the EVG Reader Mailbag!
(And the West Village should be safe…or safe enough)
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