Monday, July 13, 2015

A memo from the NYC Department of Pedestrian Etiquette


[Click on image to enlarge]

EVG reader Katherine spotted this memo in the front door of a building along East Seventh Street… on official (heh) NYC Department of Pedestrian Etiquette...

Per the sign:

Effective April 1, 2016 all new residents and visitors to New York City Over the age of 16 will be required to take a mandatory training session on Proper Etiquette for navigating the sidewalks and streets of the greater metropolitan area.

And?

Upon completion of training, applicants must then pass an oral and practical exam in order to qualify for a NYC DPE Pedestrian Permit. Any mistakes will result in denial of permission to enter the city for a period of no less than one year.

Click on the image for what the examples of the violations might include… "stopping on a bike path with a big group to take pictures of squirrels" …

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.nyctrouristslearnhowtowalk.com is a vacant lot on the Internet - but prime real estate with great potential for development!

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Greg Masters said...

brilliant

Anonymous said...

Is this a joke? Or is this for real? What about the residents such as myself that have lived here for 15 years, are we subject to this to? If it valid, I think it is a fabulous idea.

Anonymous said...

April 1st date. What a hack joke!

Anonymous said...

I am not alone!

How about adding: walking a dog with the leash stretched across the sidewalk.

Anonymous said...

Also the idiots who ride scooters on sidewalks...and bikes too

Scuba Diva said...

At 8:22 AM, Anonymous said...

Is this a joke? Or is this for real? What about the residents such as myself that have lived here for 15 years, are we subject to this to? If it valid, I think it is a fabulous idea.

15 years, you still need to learn the fine points of the rules. After 30 years, you're grandfathered in.

At 8:32, Anonymous said...

How about adding: walking a dog with the leash stretched across the sidewalk.

Flexi-leads should be banned outright; most people don't even know how to use them.

July 13, 2015 at 8:32 AM

Scuba Diva said...

Also, any questions or complaints should be referred to the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Anonymous said...

Why is the penalty for repeat offenders. Once should be enough. Of course we can always tar and feather the offenders before riding them out of town on a rail.

Anonymous said...

This shouldn't be limited to new residences. I see all kinds of people (older ones during commuter times, and younger people who are probably natives) committing these offenses.

Anonymous said...

The "Wild West" that walking has become has made me think of exactly this - that PEDESTRIANS, of all people, need lessons!

As a professional NYC pedestrian, however, I maintain that the most critical problem at the moment -- the most dangerous -- is bicyclists who don't follow the rules of the road. I have no real interest in permitting bikers (a new bureaucracy and all that it brings), but I don't know how else to keep some speed demons or incompetents from threatening the lives of the rest of us.

Day to day, in the E.V. cars feel like FAR less of a danger than bikes.

I know there are a lot of responsible bikers around, but the self-righteous biking community must address this danger. It's kinda like the NRA (I said "kinda," folks) -- if you insist everyone be armed, then YOU tell US how to stay alive!

I want the S.R.B.C. (see above graf) to say what it's doing about the bikers who have nearly killed us! Otherwise I will become a vocal advocate of pushing bikers over. It's so tempting...

Giovanni said...

Speaking of cyclists, this comes a few days too late for that girl who had her Galaxy Note stolen out of her hand by the 10 Speed Snatcher, who has struck at least 2 times, Pedestrians beware.

MosaicManNYC said...

quit playing around this is fucked up and who ever has implemented this lame and stupid plan needs to be fired and their name posted all over ...fuck off....hot dogs at city hall.....this is the democrats at work...vote for us or else.........communists......COMMUNISTS...wake up......DOMESTIC ENEMY'S of the PEOPLE of the U.S.A. ......Americans is'nt google tracking us enough! fix the streets and the sidewalks.....all of them including the little strips ,filler that joins each slab..the bumps in a mobial scooter are very painfull;;;....fix....implemt this and we sue for all sidewalks to be up to code........federal code....ENOUGH

Anonymous said...

Very good but this applies to those dyed in the wool New Yorkers as well. Ya bunch of gobshites.

Anonymous said...

Geesh, some people can't take irony.

Anonymous said...

Never mind the Biscuits, Grieve should have his own weekly satire show here. This is very funny.

Gojira said...

Please add "People who stop at the top of subway steps to check phone messages, text, or make a call". I mean, seriously?

Which collision hurts more? A 2 ton SUV moving at 30 MPH or a 200 lb bicycle moving at 5 MPH? said...

Anon@10:40AM ... You do realize that there were 248 traffic fatalities in NYC in 2014 and more than 11,000 pedestrian injuries in 2013 (the last year for which NYS DMV has supplied statistics), don't you?

http://www.streetsblog.org/2015/01/05/a-closer-look-at-2014s-traffic-death-statistics/

http://www.streetsblog.org/2014/10/29/nyc-pedestrian-and-cyclist-traffic-injuries-hit-five-year-high-in-2013/

Yes, cyclists should obey the traffic rules and ride carefully but how many pedestrians do you think were killed by cyclists this year? And how many pedestrians and cyclists do you think were killed by motor vehicles?

Anonymous said...

"Flexi-leads should be banned outright; most people don't even know how to use them"

Flexi leads are not legal in NYC. Max length of a leash is 6'.

Maybe we just figure it's normal to murder by motor vehicle ... said...

And, unfortunately, I would like to add this bit of sad news to the discussion on the dangers of bicycles:

Cyclist Fatally Struck By SUV Driver Near Barclays Center This Morning

http://gothamist.com/2015/07/13/barclays_cyclist_crash.php#photo-1

Anonymous said...

"Day to day, in the E.V. cars feel like FAR less of a danger than bikes."

Ladies and gentlemen, a Grade A example of "Truthiness."

Anonymous said...

To be fair, if you are the kind of person who walks around unaware, assuming he/she has carte blanche to walk wherever whenever, then I can see how you would think that bikes are more of a danger than cars. An approaching bike does not make much noise. So when you have your face buried in your phone and you are crossing the street, how the hell are you supposed to notice a bike approaching? It's very difficult to do both at the same time! Give 'em a break!

Anonymous said...

@11:40am: Anyone who writes "gobshites" is automatically excluded permanently from NYC, as you are provably not from here. So get going. You heard me: skedaddle, NOW!

stairbob said...

NEWS FLASH:

The problem is that we, the taxpayers of NYC, give a vast majority of our public space over to a small minority of visitors and residents who are driving motor vehicles.

Let's work on giving some of that space back to the people, and perhaps silly jokes about pedestrian rules will disappear.

Anonymous said...

Inherently fascist.